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  #201  
Old 08-17-2013, 06:57 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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My guys are mono... I have no urge for more partners. No need for further testing since I am in a closed vee.
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40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #202  
Old 08-17-2013, 11:16 PM
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Nudge Nudge is offline
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What I guess surprises me here is that there is such strong support for condom use, even (correct me if I am wrong) among closed groups, but regular testing is held in much less regard. I am surprised because many STDs can be transfered through oral sex and even deep kissing. I know testing doesn't prevent anything in of itself, but it will reduce the spread of STDs quite effectively.
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  #203  
Old 08-18-2013, 12:41 AM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nudge View Post
What I guess surprises me here is that there is such strong support for condom use, even (correct me if I am wrong) among closed groups, but regular testing is held in much less regard. I am surprised because many STDs can be transfered through oral sex and even deep kissing. I know testing doesn't prevent anything in of itself, but it will reduce the spread of STDs quite effectively.
My group uses condoms for birth control when a female isn't currently on a method.
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  #204  
Old 08-18-2013, 02:02 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Oh-in our dynamic, any time we are open to new potentials-we are anal retentive about STI testing actually.

I am VERY anal retentive about it because I have herpes-so only do I insist on testing for every person (which has ticked off several poly women locally who wanted to be with Maca and "skiip" testing) but I also insist on making sure *MYSELF* that the guys potentials are fully aware that I DO have herpes (both guys continue to test negative as of a year ago) and that we ARE fluid bonded and therefore they ARE at risk of getting it if they choose to be with one of the guys.
I'm not willing to be "the cause" of someone else taking that risk without knowing.

Thus far it's been arbitrary as neither of the guys has contracted it (20 yrs with one, 15 with the other) but they could at any time.
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  #205  
Old 08-19-2013, 09:46 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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I don't have regular tests at this time, but Seamus and I are each other's only partner right now so it seems like it would be futile.
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  #206  
Old 09-05-2013, 05:48 PM
herstory herstory is offline
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Default My stance

I really enjoy being fluid bonded with somebody but I can only do that when I really really trust someone. They need to be tested and any of their other partners tested and then if the circle keeps going out condoms and/or testing. I also don't have casual sex in hopes of limiting my chances of STIs.

I have some really close family members with lifelong STIs. So while I love sex and the stickiness, I want to minimize my chances of contracting something that will affect me forever.

I've tried female condoms when I was younger and I was worried the whole time it would slide in.

I've also used condoms plenty of times and had them get "lost" in me. I am constantly reaching down to check that it's still on. I am so not into digging around in my goods to find a rubber and then testing and morning after pills or whatever.
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  #207  
Old 09-06-2013, 02:44 PM
Dragon13 Dragon13 is offline
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Default Better Safe than Sorry?

Long discussion here. I am new here, but we have rules regarding this and I thought I would throw my 2 cents in. My wife can still conceive and such, some form of birth control is necessary. We stick with condoms because they not only prevent pregnancy, but disease also. I am fixed and as such, sex with my wife is bareback and very enjoyable. But, even fixed, I must use a condom with another partner. Should we get a partner that was a more permanent fixture within the relationship, someone who played only with us for a long period of time, then it might be possible to go bareback since I can't produce children, but they would have to be with us only.
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  #208  
Old 09-06-2013, 02:51 PM
london london is offline
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So imagine I begin a long term relationship with you and your wife. Why can't I have protected sex with other people? Your wife isn't about to have a baby, so unless she is severely immunocompromised with something like HIV, the extremely small chance of me sleeping with someone and contracting herpes whilst using a condom and outside of an outbreak doesn't justify you forbidding someone from having other partners. Also, what if I had all my partners completely tested for STDs and only had sex, protected sex, mind, with people who are totally clear? What excuse would you have then for stopping me sleeping with other people?
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  #209  
Old 09-06-2013, 05:08 PM
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Natja Natja is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragon13 View Post
but they would have to be with us only.
Why?
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  #210  
Old 09-06-2013, 11:54 PM
Dragon13 Dragon13 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natja View Post
Why?
Because once you get past the immediate circle you lose control. While I may love the person I am with, that doesn't necessarily mean they might not have made a wrong decision somewhere along the way. STDs are too permanent and while sex is good, it is not worth any STD.
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bareback, disease prevention, fluid bonding, poly fi, poly fidelity, safe sex, safer sex, sex, unsafe sex, unsafer sex

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