Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #161  
Old 06-30-2013, 09:18 AM
london london is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK - land of the free
Posts: 1,635
Default

It's like 3% without antiretrovirals, yes some people shed without an outbreak but very few. As I said before, a huge amount of people who have herpes are fluid bonded with negative partners. That's something also true for women with HIV. Lots of those have had children with men that have a negative status.

The testing thing is another issue in itself. Lots of people who swear they'd never allow someone with hsv 2 in their sexual network don't actually know if they have it themselves yet are fine making calls about other people.
Reply With Quote
  #162  
Old 06-30-2013, 05:16 PM
Natja's Avatar
Natja Natja is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 836
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by london View Post
It's like 3% without antiretrovirals, yes some people shed without an outbreak but very few.
Source?
Quote:
As I said before, a huge amount of people who have herpes are fluid bonded with negative partners
.

Source?

Quote:
The testing thing is another issue in itself. Lots of people who swear they'd never allow someone with hsv 2 in their sexual network don't actually know if they have it themselves yet are fine making calls about other people.
Ermmm...Source?

I honestly feel you are just pulling 'facts' out of your nethers here London. "You think", does not scientific statistics make. It's true that people are not routinely tested for HSV and some people 'are' asymptomatic (in fact I wondered about myself possibly being so) I'd have no way of knowing though since no one is going to test me on the NHS because I am curious.
As I said before I have had partners with HSV before, it wasn't an issue until pregnancy and then I worried about it. Sometimes life circumstances mean that you 'have to' be extreme (like the aforementioned autoimmune disordered) and possibly more extreme than warranted, but it is better to be safe than sorry.
Reply With Quote
  #163  
Old 07-01-2013, 01:31 AM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,504
Default

Sheesh.

I can't say what the % of risk is.

But, I have herpes. I have been fluid-bonded with Maca and GG for over 15 years & both test negative (so far) every 6 months.

AND

fyi-I was curious last year, and asked the dr to test me on that curiosity because when I learned I had herpes, they couldn't test for 1 or 2. It was verified visually. ANYWAY-they tested me because I was curious-and I test negative for 1, positive for 2. Both guys test positive for 1 and negative for 2.

SO-not only have we not spread 2 from me to them in spite of a rowdy, wild and crazy fluid bonded sex life-but we also haven't spread 1 from either of them to me.

Shrug-I think it's always better to be safer than sorry-in terms of educating yourself on risk.
On the other hand-the idea that "I simply trust my partner to identify partners we can trust" doesn't work for me-I trusted the man who gave me herpes 22 years ago. I trusted that we were actually being monogamous-until I caught him in bed with another woman.
SOOOOOO-no. I don't trust that someone is actually trustworthy just because I love them or because my partner loves them.
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
  #164  
Old 07-02-2013, 12:35 PM
london london is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK - land of the free
Posts: 1,635
Default

Study about transmission using arvs and condoms.

I'll link more soon.

Studies about transmission always involve one partner who is negative and another who is positive. In every study, the people at the end who didn't use condoms and are still negative are scientific proof that these couples exist. Anecdotally, I also came across numerous women in midwifery who were positive with a negative partner or vice versa. Those whose partner tested positive were advised to use condoms because pregnancy compromises your immune system. Lots of those women would be tested and would be negative for the type of herpes their partner had.
Reply With Quote
  #165  
Old 07-02-2013, 01:23 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 1,647
Default

Perhaps that's because there are segments of the population that are immune to any given virus, especially ones that target the immune system itself. That doesn't speak conclusively to either side of this debate.
Reply With Quote
  #166  
Old 07-02-2013, 01:53 PM
london london is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK - land of the free
Posts: 1,635
Default

The amount of people that are naturally immune to herpes is tiny. This goes some way to explaining why.
Reply With Quote
  #167  
Old 07-03-2013, 02:26 AM
tree166 tree166 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 31
Default

I am fluid bonded (I really hate that term) with my live-in partner. We use condoms with everyone else, every time, no exceptions. If we were in some sort of closed triad or quad we'd probably relax the policy, but until then we're extremely stringent about it.
Reply With Quote
  #168  
Old 08-08-2013, 04:09 AM
AlbertaBea's Avatar
AlbertaBea AlbertaBea is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: San Francisco East Bay Area
Posts: 22
Wink I want to have unprotected sex with a second partner

Douglas and I have been mostly exclusively having unprotected sex for several years. I dated someone else, Tim, and we were having unprotected sex but it caused some problems for Doug and I. I told him it was happening after Tim and I stopped using condoms. He was hurt and I am remorseful. Tim and I started using condoms again, then we broke up.

I'd like to maneuver the situation better with Tommy. Tommy and his wife are okay with us having unprotected sex. Doug and I have talked about it, and he's not uncomfortable with the idea. He doesn't love it. I don't want to push Doug away so I've been resistant with Tommy, but it's something I think about often.

I'm wondering if anyone can offer any experience laden advice on the subject? I've planted the seed, now I want this plant to grow!

Last edited by AlbertaBea; 08-08-2013 at 04:59 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #169  
Old 08-08-2013, 07:24 AM
Natja's Avatar
Natja Natja is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 836
Default

May I ask why this is a strong desire? Do you just find condoms unpleasant or is there some other reason?
Reply With Quote
  #170  
Old 08-09-2013, 11:49 AM
london london is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK - land of the free
Posts: 1,635
Default

Why is he reluctant? Often it is because people see restricting fluid bonding as a way of restricting intimacy with others. My answer to that is pulling out and spraying my face with man seed is actually a far more intimate act than depositing inside me. There is no reason for people to restrict their partner's from fluid bonding where all involved agree to the same risk management procedures and protocols. It's an easy place for people to exercise control and judgement against others under the guise of "good" poly though.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
bareback, disease prevention, fluid bonding, poly fi, poly fidelity, safe sex, safer sex, sex, unsafe sex, unsafer sex

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 05:56 PM.