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  #131  
Old 06-26-2013, 12:16 AM
Pretzels Pretzels is offline
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So, we started the discussion this past weekend and T is fine with the idea of the three of us going for the fluid bonding situation. (We're a closed loop, btw.)

E wrinkled his nose a bit when he heard that he'd have to go for a doctor's workup just to make sure we're all clean.

T and I talked about the "worst case" scenario (pregnancy) and agreed to talk more about that before we make the switch from condoms to no-doms. That'll be a chat I have with E, too, before the three of us sit down together on that topic.

And rudeness? Well, we try to be fair among the three of us, hence my concerns about rudeness. There are no demands being made for "access" or anything like that. Just a genuine desire to have one less step during, cough, sexy time.
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  #132  
Old 06-26-2013, 08:00 PM
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Sekhmet Sekhmet is offline
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Q and I are, and always have been, fluid bonded. He was my first, we were committed/mono and he'd been tested and I didn't want my first time to be with a condom. We did non-PIV sexytimes for months beforehand though.

I've told him that if he and Miss M get to that point, I wouldn't mind if they became fluid bonded as long as she's tested. It's unlikely to happen since neither of them are fixed and hormones mess her up.

I still have no other experience, so can't comment there. Can't imagine it would be quick though.
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  #133  
Old 06-26-2013, 08:40 PM
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Inyourendo Inyourendo is online now
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The only reason n goes barrier (the term bare back just sounds so skeevy) free with j is because he's Bern snipped and she's on bc. She also only goes barrier free with N. It had been discussed that if either decided to go bf with another they would then begin using condoms.

It's shocking to me how many women offer the fact that they are fixed to him. I always wonder about people like that, do they routinely offer to go without? We met a couple once that was very put off that I wasn't fixed because the man was and I discovered that they frequently participated in swaps without protection.
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  #134  
Old 06-27-2013, 02:17 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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That's interesting, higher concern about pregnancy then STI's?
Hmmm.

Within my V that would be true-both guys are snipped-precisely because we don't want more children and we enjoy having sex without condoms.

One of Maca's ladies wanted to know if he would have surgery to reverse his so he could theoretically get her pregnant. He said no way. Not worth the money knowing it wouldn't be guaranteed to work anyway-and he doesn't want to "start over" as he puts it.

GG hasn't ever put himself out there to date, so no idea what women would say to him.

I am not interested in dating another man (2 men is too much testosterone for me)-so it's been moot for me too...
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  #135  
Old 06-27-2013, 02:24 AM
london london is offline
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You see, even herpes only shows up occasionally. A kid is there all day, every day, and abortions aren't the most pleasant thing to go through. Most stis can be treated with a simple course of medication and don't cause harm if treated promptly. That's why I'm more concerned about stopping pregnancy.
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  #136  
Old 06-27-2013, 03:32 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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I wasn't judging, just intrigued and I know.

I have herpes-got it at age 15.
I have had 2 abortions, 1 miscarriage and 3 live births.

Pregnancy nearly killed me-every time. It's a horrible experience for me.

Shrug.
Just intrigued.
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  #137  
Old 06-27-2013, 05:59 AM
london london is offline
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I don't have herpes but I find the ignorance and general "OMG diseases" attitude quite offensive.
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  #138  
Old 06-27-2013, 06:10 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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It's true, no one ever goes "OMG you gave me strep throat you whore". But even if someone was tested they could STILL carry the plague and not know it. There are such things as False Negative results & viruses do mutate. I'm not making this up; I am also not having sex with you, you, or you.
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  #139  
Old 06-27-2013, 06:15 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by london View Post
I don't have herpes but I find the ignorance and general "OMG diseases" attitude quite offensive.
Personally, I find that taking offense at people's attitudes or opinions is a waste of my energy.
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  #140  
Old 06-27-2013, 06:29 AM
london london is offline
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Yes but when it comes to stis, their attitudes do affect you. For example, their hysteria around stiS based on myths their granny told them can often mean that if you fuck more than they'd like, if you choose to not use barriers for some sexual activities like oral sex or if you have something like herpes, they treat you like dirt. Lots of people would forbid their partner to have sex with anyone diagnosed with herpes, even with strict condom use with no scientific evidence for doing so. Yes, that level of ignorance does bother me. Particularly if a partner or metamour is the ones displaying it. It would be like someone openly saying things like if you touch someone with HIV, you'll get AIDS. That would just be based on total ignorance and I hope anyone who heard someone say something so stupid and harmful would step up and say something.

If you trust that your partner wouldn't fuck someone without a condom if they hadn't had the sti talk, you're "apathetic" rather than having a healthy amount of trust in your partners concern for your wellbeing
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