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  #1  
Old 04-15-2013, 11:59 PM
lizzygirl2412 lizzygirl2412 is offline
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So here is my last couple days in a nut shell... if it will all fit!!
I will start from the beginning.. About 2 years ago my dear sweet loving devoted husband K started discussing with me his interest in possibly bringing another woman into our relationship. I said sure not problem but being that we both work all the time, I never really worried about it or took it seriously.
Here I am two years later looking for someone else online for our relationship.

Excuse me right this second, I have been drinking

Anyway to make a long story really short. He already has someone.. Im sure that comes as a big surprise to all of you(sarcasm)!!
So I guess I should look no further, I was trying to be the "good wife" now I have this person that has been having fun with my husband now he wants her to be part of our relationship.
Not only that he wants me to teach this person how to treat him and how he likes things and how a woman should act.. excuse me for being blind sided here.
I guess we have a third and I guess I have just had her shoved down my throat. Not feeling the love right now everyone.. thoughts suggestions please!!!??
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Old 04-16-2013, 12:17 AM
lizzygirl2412 lizzygirl2412 is offline
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they apparently already have had a relationship for quite some time and I am apparently the last one to know... forgot that part!
I feel like a fool and the ass end of a really bad joke!!
Im glad to be a loving wife
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  #3  
Old 04-16-2013, 12:41 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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I am truly sorry you were betrayed! Just remember - just because you are his sub does not mean you have to accept his mistress as a metamour or sex partner. He cheated on you. Don't let him walk all over you. Sub does not equal doormat. He will have to rebuild trust first.
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Old 04-16-2013, 12:43 AM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Whoa. He asked you about opening the relationship two years ago, and you found out that he already has someone. So he was cheating, and now expects you to teach this one and accept her?

I know you have the D/S thing going on, but respect is a must in this lady's book of life. How does he even know that you and her are romantically compatible? He just brought home a person, and you are supposed to be a-okay with it and just deal? Wow.

Ry
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  #5  
Old 04-16-2013, 01:11 AM
lizzygirl2412 lizzygirl2412 is offline
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Once again ladies let me say how sorry I am. I am NOT a drinker and I have had four drinks so my language and attitude right now sucks.
Not only does he want me to accept her, this B**ch says she will be the queen of the castle. I may be a sub to my husband but in the outside world I do dominate!! I work in a mans world and in that world i make men look like little bitty ants.
I have not ever felt this side of myself in my personal relationship but I am feeling it now.
Part of me wants to tell them both to go suck an egg.
this is the worst part, I am an open person, non judgemental, I think.. for the most part but there is a time and place for everything. This woman is like 6 foot something and looks like something the cat drug in or my dog needs to eat. she is "hard"
Is that what he wants?? Why does he want me to teach her anything, am i not good enough what is wrong with me. I can see finding a soft hearted loving girl. I would love and adore her but to put this thing in front of me .. seriously what am i suppose to do??
Sorry for the rant but I am so hurting right now!!
Im not a stupid woman but obviously Im just a blinded woman... advice please
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  #6  
Old 04-16-2013, 01:18 AM
lizzygirl2412 lizzygirl2412 is offline
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and I know her from a long time ago. Its not that i didnt like her more like she just wasnt my cup of tea.... Her crowd is more of the bar and party type where mine is more of the home body love thy children type. we are polar opposites!!
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  #7  
Old 04-16-2013, 01:21 AM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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No need to apologise. You are dealing with quite a bit. I wish my husband would. He would not have any balls. There is a lot of work to be done. This is how polyamoury should NOT be done. The way he presented her is like someone cooking your favourite meal and instead of putting it on a plate, they go outside to the trash bin remove the lid and serve it that way. That is about how palatable this situation is. You cannot force attraction or force yourself to want to be romantically involved with her. For K to even expect that is unreal. And queen of the castle? Presumptuous little duckie. I am the lady of this estate, and no one is going to take my place.

Ry

Last edited by FullofLove1052; 04-16-2013 at 12:06 PM.
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  #8  
Old 04-16-2013, 01:29 AM
lizzygirl2412 lizzygirl2412 is offline
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ry
It has been a long long time since I have had the need to step outside myself and be a C word but boy it is starting to show. I am so angry at both of them right now I cant see straight. My husband ask me today "so tell me" i said "tell you what"
He wants me to blow
and my response was " it has taken me years to be who I am, I do not degrate people nor do I stoop low enough to make people feel above me. I will not allow you or her to change me, I am who I am. Deal with it"
Part of me wants to lash out but honestly I would be giving them what they want. When I smile and nodd, neither of them know what I am thinking nor what I am capable of.
Let them both go get F**ked!! I will smile and let them wonder.
Believe me when I say, I bring in half the income. this bitch doesnt even work
Im sure that thought has crossed his mind.
Why couldnt he just let me find a nice person instead of trying to force me into something??? Thanks for being there, I know i sound like a mad woman right now!!
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  #9  
Old 04-16-2013, 01:33 AM
MeeraReed MeeraReed is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FullofLove1052 View Post
There is a lot of work to be done. First, he needs to work on earning your trust back. You have to forgive him. For yourself and then him in time.

Ry
Actually, you don't need to accept this situation or forgive him at all. You can kick him out, change the locks, and file divorce papers.

And then you can find a Dom who will treat you with love and respect.
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  #10  
Old 04-16-2013, 01:42 AM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
Actually, you don't need to accept this situation or forgive him at all. You can kick him out, change the locks, and file divorce papers.

And then you can find a Dom who will treat you with love and respect.
I would not stay, but I have to be the butterfly of optimism. Love or not. His ass would have to go.

Ry
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Lizzy formerly known as Ry - Me. Panromantic demisexual with a history of polyamorist tendencies. Married to...
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