Poly and single?

[tigrrrlily]

Originally Posted by Mark1npt

Um....excuse me.

You are of couse excused but whatever for? (:

[NeonKaos]

Come on folks!!!

"Um" is not a word!

[vandalin]

Sure it is, it's an expression of doubt, hesitation, deliberation, or interest.

It's an interjection. It shows excitement or emotion and are generally set apart from a sentance by an exclamation point or by a comma if the feelings not as strong.

[NeonKaos]

Well I was trying to interject some levity.

Is "um" in the dictionary? Not Wiki, Dicky!

[tigrrrlily]

yep, its in the concise Oxford: "expressing hesitation, or a pause in speech." There you have it.

[NeonKaos]

ZOMGosh, I guess I stand corrected!

[vandalin]

Sorry about the derailing. I was also going for levity with the lyrics from Schoolhouse Rocks "Interjections" song. Now back on topic...

Anyway the bottom line, which I think we agree on, is that coupling or tripling are not the only ways of being poly.

I agree with the thought of this, although it is not my particular desire, especially since I am married. But this set up reminds me very much of things I read in Ethical Slut. They have an entire section devoted to "Single Sluts". Although the book does seem more sexually the emotionally focused, it was still a good read.

And just as there is no one right way of having or being in a relationship, there is not one right way to be poly.

[DestinyWaits]

Originally Posted by Ceoli

One of my issues in a polyfidelity "V" model is that usually, one person gets to be with lovers every night while the two others have to have nights alone part of the time. While I applaud others who can, I can't find balance that way.

I'm not sure how others do it but when my husband and I were with our partner we all lived together and shared the same room. We don't believe in the part-time thing, we believe that a partner is a partner and in order for the relationship to work (atleast for us) is for us all to be in a unit together as a family and that means no one gets alone nights unless someone is at work or they want them or chose them but it isn't something that is planned. We never did believe going into this lifestyle that when we found someone she would have a room other than ours, the whole purpose in finding our love was to be with her. Just how we do it. In my opinion "polys" are a unit or family and the "new woman" isn't just a gf or lover but a member of the family in all ways, that's how we view it.

[NeonKaos]

It's not a bad idea for each person to have their "own" room. They can still do the sleeping and sex arrangements however they want, but everyone has their own space that they can decorate or not decorate how they like and keep as neat or as messy as their comfort zone(s) dictate.

My husband and I have found that this works for us (and it really helps with the snoring and allergy issues, which is how it all came about in the first place) and we aren't even involved in any other relationships at this time, let alone someone living with us.

[Mark1npt]

Our bedroom is downstairs and my other's is upstairs. I rotate nights between the 2. My wife is still adjusting to my not being in bed with her physically every night and that is tough for her. The 3 of us have to sometimes sleep together when we have a crisis and one of us needs a little emotional support for the night. It's not a perfect arrangement for any 1 person but it works reasonably well for now.