Is thin the only sexy?

[Athena]

I dream of getting back to my ideal weight for height range, for health reasons but also because in honesty, I feel more attractive at a thinner weight. There are definitely too thin people though out there, and weight is not the only factor in wanting to be in a relationship. If I'm in a conversation with two different people - one perfect appearance but nothing to say of any interest, and one much less ideal (but within the general range of my personal taste) but with wit and kindness I'll pick the person with IQ and EQ.

[Fidelia]

Originally Posted by bella123456

Stories like that are gold though, it gives one the opportunity to think about appropriate responses. I'm going to put some thought into how I may next reply to a comment on weight..
thanks

That is EXACTLY why I like to tell that story.

[HappiestManAlive]

Sexy or attractive?

I know lots of sexy heavier girls. The eyes, attitude, smile - all there. But I'm not attracted to them, never have been. Conversly, I know lots of VERY "attractive" women that aren't sexy at all - the eyes, the smile, ESPECIALLY the attitude, just aren't there. And intelligence and personality are sexy completely independent of physical attributes.

I don't buy the "big girls are more adventurous" bit - I've been with many shapes and sizes, and inhibition or the lack thereof has little or nothing to do with size or shape.

I'm 6'1" and the heaviest I've been in my life was 177; I'm at 165 now. Spent my teens and half of my twenties at 130 and couldn't gain weight, period - I ate enough for 3 or 4 people at every sitting. Now I eat hardly anything and sit between 160 and 170.

So I'm going to be completely honest and break from most of the posts here - I like smaller girls. In fact, TINY girls, the smaller the better. I've dated maybe 10 women my whole life over 5'5". YES - there is such a thing as too thin; but you can be thin and healthy. In order from "biggest" to "smallest", the ladies in my life line up like this - Lana is 5'5" and 115 with full breasts and and looks like a supermodel. Violet is smaller still at 5'1"-ish and 100 lbs or so, with small breasts and a butt that qualifies as a genetic freak on a white girl, lol. Her figure changes a lot - since we've been together she's been everywhere from 90 to 130 ls. Loved it all, she wears curves well - but never got "thick" or "heavy". Adrian is TINY. 4'10" and 85 lbs with full C cups and I can't get enough of it. They are all in excellent physical condition, not sickly like some people seem to think all thin people are.

And +1 here for the comment about people telling you you're too thin being just as bad as saying you're fat. Grrr!

Some of our closest friends weigh over 1,000 lbs between them. And they have quite the poly life going on what with another couple playing with them and a regular GF, all plus-sized but not nearly as large as they are. And they get freaky as hell in the bedroom, though I'll admit the physics of it are a bit beyond me, lol.

Some say women who are thin "feel like you'll break them"; I counter because I like a woman I can "throw around", lol. Different strokes for different folks, as always.

I don't want to come off as mean or rude, but I'm not going to lie - I find obesity horribly unattractive. I don't look down on big folks, not at all! But when I hear people say a particularly large person is super hot or that they like that, I just shrug - it's not for me.

[HappiestManAlive]

Oh - about the comment earlier that got so many people's dander up. I see both sides of that coin; being heavy doesn't mean you don't take care of yourself!

BUT - I know plenty of people who got comfortable in a relationship and "let themselves go", caring less about their appearence and gaining weight, people who used to keep in excellent shape. And many of these people complain about their sex life diminishing, which is just inviting the comments from people without tact.

The dead givaway is when they become single again and drop the weight in a couple of months, buy new clothes, and start maintaining their appearance again. Tsk tsk.

Point being, it CAN be the case, it's just not ALWAYS the case.

[Derbylicious]

It's kind of cool how we're all attracted to different types. I hear you HMA with finding people sexy without finding them attractive. Most people can be sexy, it comes more from a way that they hold themselves and the way they feel about themselves but out of all of them there are only a select few who I'm going to find attractive.

[MonoVCPHG]

Some of the most "attractive" women in the world have zero sexiness in my opinion. Some people simply pump out sexual energy and regardless of what they look like you can't help but feel it. It's about energy and presence for me and it usually is not from women that are trying to be sexy...it's from women who are internally sexy. They are conduits to something primal that attracted mates before man became clouded by the ideals of advertising and fashion.

[bella123456]

Well, thin is certainly NOT the only sexy !

An open smile, personal warmth, a sense of playfulness, a strong sense of confidence in who they are, a wicked sense of humour...

I think I'd almost be inclined to say those would be the things I notice upon meeting someone, rather than physical attributes...it's often sometime later that I discover I'm physically attracted to someone - but I think it's probably those personal attributes that allow a physical attraction to even occur..

[Ohiogrl]

Originally Posted by Magdlyn

Gosh, did I stumble onto okc by mistake??

>_< OOPS!

[MaybeSparrow]

I'm fat, and I've been actively working on respecting myself. It's been paying off. I find beauty all over the spectrum of shape and size, but fat men hold a special place in my heart. Embracing that fact has helped me feel better about myself, because if I'm so attracted to an aspect in someone else, I shouldn't deny it to myself. Confident, chubby sex is pretty fun.

[HappiestManAlive]

I'm glad to see all the self confidence and open mindedness both in this thread and in many places out & about these days when it comes to positive self image and seeing beauty where the media tells you it isn't.

That said - I'd like to say that I'm starting to get annoyed with that pendulum's motion, lol. Not in this thread, but in general - being told your shallow because you're not attracted to somebody or to a body type, etc., is... Well, annoying isn't strong enough a word, lol.