Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Life stories and blogs


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-07-2013, 08:42 PM
KerrBear KerrBear is offline
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 60
Default He's fallen in love with his boss's wife

My husband and I have been swingers for more than four years now. We opened our marriage up when I caught him red-handed in bed with another woman.

After a wave of many emotions, including being very turned on and wanting him more than ever sexually, I did a lot of research of what it meant to be monogamous. I discovered that humans simply aren't monogamous and that those who are successful at it still struggle to maintain it.

As I was also fighting urges to be with others, I decided that we'd try swinging. We've been with a handful of couples and have been to parties and campgrounds for swingers. It's fun but more enjoyable to my husband. For me, I liked the compliment and the attention, but I was getting zero sexual satisfaction from the swinging. I would get aroused and then have very passionate sex with my husband, but I could not reach orgasm with anyone I've been with. Plus, most men are pretty disappointing in bed. While my husband is amazing. Never ending source of stamina and loves to give oral to women and he's talented at that too.

I decided maybe it would be easier to find the right guy to satisfy me by doing threesomes with my husband and another man. I've had a few partners. One came over pretty regularly, but no matter how hard I tried and how comfortable I was with him, I couldn't reach orgasm with him without the assistance of my husband.

So it has been months since I've been with anyone else and my husband only plays at swinger events and if I invite over couples. It got to the point that when I invited over a couple it was to give my husband a lady to enjoy. We haven't been able to find a lady for him alone but my husband has expressed that he would like me to find a girl that I really like too. So she is more of my best friend than just a fuck for my husband.

My husband has a new co-worker and he found out that we were swingers and that I also am a gamer, which he is as well. We started talking on our gaming system and eventually started texting. At first, it was just about sex but it was weird because I became completely infatuated with him. I had a throbbing need for him and after I finally met him at my husband's work, it got worse. I couldn't think I wanted him so badly. I've never really felt that before. . .

So I met up with him and we talked for a few hours before I finally crawled up onto him and we had some pretty fun sex in the cab of his pickup.

The text messages changed from being about sex to getting to know each other better and eventually our emotions were talked about. I would go to my husband's work to bring him lunch but also to see the co-worker.

The last three weekends, he has been over at my house. He's a kinky man that is 5 years younger than I am so as I'm not experienced with that kind of play and he is, I'm more experienced in other things like the act of making love. He hasn't had many partners, only two before me and not much time with either one of them. So it's been a learning experience for both of us.

So as I'm getting my emotions all wrap around this man, I've learned how to orgasm with him, which I've never done with anyone other than my husband and previous, serious and long-term boyfriends. But it happened so quickly with him, like the second time I've had sex with him.

There is very clearly a connection between us. I've never seen a man look at me the way he looks at me. His pupils are so huge! But I haven't forgotten my husband and he's been pretty understanding for the most part.

I did break a rule and when I was with the co-worker (now my bf), I hadn't told him i was going to do that. But I did let him know I did right after I did it. He was kind of upset by this and I know I should have told him I was going to do it. It's just that, my husband gets uptight when I'm with a guy without him being present. I didn't want him with me the first time I was with my bf. But we didn't communicate that at all.

My husband and I did talk through the solo partnering. I have never had a problem with him being solo with a woman. I actually prefer if I'm not present, he is the exact opposite and would prefer if I was present when he's with another woman. Thing is, I don't really have any interest watching and I like being alone because it adds passion and intimacy that is not there if my husband is participating.

We were able to compromise. My husband is learning to accept that I want and need time alone with my partners, but it hasn't been an easy ride for him. He's also having to deal with the fact that out of everyone we have been with, here is a man that I actually love a lot and have a clear connection with. It's a completely new aspect that is only about a month old and he's concerned because me and my bf are moving so quickly.

I want to make it clear, I don't fall in love easily at all. I've had many partners and very, very few of them have been given my affection on a "love" level. They are friends, sure, but never really someone I cared enough about to tell them I love them. But the co-worker is completely different and this is new to me as well. I never thought I'd love another man when I was in love with my husband.

My husband is dealing with this and how quickly my emotions are evolving with the co-worker. Plus, he has to work with this guy. He's my bf's boss! So he has a difficult weight on his shoulders and he's being a total saint for being as understanding that he is being.

He seems to be caught up on the fact that we are financially struggling at the moment so we are really budgeting and we cannot afford to go out. He can't afford to "romance me" at the moment. While the co-worker is willing and wanting to treat me out.

Last Friday, I went to a party with my bf and he took me out to dinner. My husband found out he bought me dinner and was pissed. Called my bf two faced because apparently, they had discussed this at work and he had promised my husband that he wouldn't spend money on me. I find out that my bf actually told him he would slow down on spending on me but that he never agreed that he wouldn't spend any money on me. That it wasn't fair that he couldn't treat me out to dinner and that it was hard for him not to because he's never been able to do that for a woman before and he really wanted to experience the whole dating aspect with me.

Well, I decided it was best if the three of us sat down and discussed this. My husband didn't want to but I didn't give him a choice. I had my bf stop over yesterday and everyone was calm and he stayed for supper and spent the night again.

I think everything is cool now. My bf and I went from step one right into step 3 and my husband is still in step one looking at us like "WAIT FOR ME!" when it comes to emotionally on board. He and the co-worker are still learning to be friends and how to balance this secret sex life and having to work with each other every day for eight hours a day.

So as of right now, thing seem to fine. I hope it works because I love them both very much. We just need to keep all communicate brackets open and the co-worker and I need to realize that although we are feeling very much in love, we have to see things with clear eyes. My husband is there to remind us of that and I'm grateful to him for that.
Reply With Quote

polyandry, swinging, workplace

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 10:32 AM.