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  #71  
Old 02-01-2011, 07:58 PM
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Oh sweet thing, this whole thing has really been up setting. What someone thinks is playful braggy humour is another persons pain. Your concern for who is being truthful to you is completely valid. It's really hard to trust total strangers that are linked to you by no choice of your own... just circumstance. Such is the trust we have in poly and the sex within it... not to mention the emotional component.

Big hugs to you sweets, it will all work out in the wash. I am keeping faith that what you have been told by all involved is in fact the truth, not because of the relationships because I would hate to see your trust broken.

I was at a party recently and came across some friends in the community. I have heard/seen/suspected all kinds of things and decided that I should just ask what is going on for them in their relationship life. I also said that they didn't have to tell me but as I had heard stuff I wanted to get the info from them rather than believing the rumour mill.

I was embarrassed to ask, but they were all quick to thank me for asking and made me feel comfortable in asking... it ended up being a bonding moment for us and I left the conversation knowing what was going on. Supporting them in their choices, feeling compersion for them and feeling as if our friendship was deeper. I was so glad I asked.

I asked a question of another women the other night and got a similar response. It has been a really good reminder that if I want to know, I should ask... I hope that now you have asked, you get the same results
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Last edited by redpepper; 02-03-2011 at 06:07 AM.
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  #72  
Old 02-01-2011, 07:59 PM
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Not cool! So very not cool!

I can only imagine if someone started spreading rumors that one of us was "with" someone in the poly-community here what a ruckus and disaster that would be.

Maca is too insecure to just accept "that's b.s. honey". He'd freak. Just freak.
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  #73  
Old 02-01-2011, 08:00 PM
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I'm interested in those talks you were commenting on in the last page... does anyone have a link?
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  #74  
Old 02-01-2011, 08:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Not cool! So very not cool!

I can only imagine if someone started spreading rumors that one of us was "with" someone in the poly-community here what a ruckus and disaster that would be.

Maca is too insecure to just accept "that's b.s. honey". He'd freak. Just freak.
I don't think it was put out there with malicious intent but rather without having all the facts. I have been reassured that things are the way I thought they were but it still sucked to go to that panicky place.

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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
I'm interested in those talks you were commenting on in the last page... does anyone have a link?
youtube TED talks
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  #75  
Old 02-01-2011, 09:23 PM
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even without malicious intent-it would be a disaster.
You know?

I mean-I would hit that "panicky place" like you mention-but Maca, he just doesn't have the skills yet to get from OMG PANIC and NOT fall over the accusation edge.
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  #76  
Old 02-02-2011, 08:56 PM
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An apology to my husband and his girlfriend for my part in the drama of the week:

Everything is feeling very "middle school" this week. It's kind of weird because I've been reading a book on aggression in girls in schools and I see (and am a part of, unfortunately) the same type of tactics even as an adult. I feel like I'm gossipping and trying to get people on my side because I was angry (still am a bit but that's beside the point).

I've caused way more drama in the heat of the moment than was necessary. I've potentially had a part in squelching a romance before it's had the chance to run whatever course it was going to by it's self...and that's not fair to the people involved.

I did overreact with the information that I had at the time. I allowed my emotions and thoughts to get the better of me before I could sit down and talk it out with the people whom I trust. By that point I was already so angry that I just needed to lash out and the shit splatter has been far reaching.

What other people chose to do and say is beyond my control. I need to learn to trust that what *I've* been told is true is in fact the truth. It was very bad of me to doubt that my husband and his gf would have been lying to me. Neither of them have ever given me cause to think that this is the case. I'm done listening to the rumour mill. If something important is happening with those around me I have faith that they will tell me themselves.
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Last edited by Derbylicious; 02-02-2011 at 11:46 PM.
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  #77  
Old 02-02-2011, 10:57 PM
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Stop being so hard on yourself Derby. Some people don't think before they post stuff/say stuff which is no worse than your reaction. RP should give you a spanking...if your're into that stuff of course
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  #78  
Old 02-02-2011, 10:58 PM
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Quote:
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Stop being so hard on yourself Derby. Some people don't think before they post stuff/say stuff which is no worse than your reaction. RP should give you a spanking...if your're into that stuff of course
Well you never know till you try, right?
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  #79  
Old 02-02-2011, 10:59 PM
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Well you never know till you try, right?
Exactly! That's the attitude
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  #80  
Old 02-10-2011, 06:39 PM
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The past couple of weeks have been tough. I'm not going through anything myself but I find myself standing by, helpless, as RP and Mono work through their stuff. I understand where they are both coming from and I wish more than anything that I had an easy solution to offer that would just work. I hate that they are sad and hurting and at least, for the moment, there doesn't seem to be an end to the discussions. No one is the bad guy here...just 2 people who have completely different takes on the world and how they need to be in it to be healthy.

Anyone have some magical fairy dust to make it all better?
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