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  #241  
Old 04-12-2012, 12:31 PM
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just read Derby's opening post to this thread....two BIG thumbs up for you!!!
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  #242  
Old 04-19-2012, 09:39 PM
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I have a couple of new things in my life that I'm working on at the moment. They are related to each other though which is kind of interesting.

The first is that I'm working on getting more in touch with how I feel and once I know how I feel I'm working on expressing it. It's not an easy thing for me to d. I'm quite adept at talking about what is going on and how I'm reacting to it but I'm not good at pinpointing the emotion behind it.

The other thing I'm working on is figuring out what I want out of life. My husband has been talking for a while about wanting to invest in real estate. I don't have a passion or a drive to pursue it. Maybe the lack of drive comes from not having a big picture dream to be passionate about. Maybe there just isn't anything that I want that passionately to be able to embark on something completely new.

If anyone has links on how to identify emotions or how to figure out what you want out of life please send them my way. I think it's a time for personal growth and I'm only going to be better for it.
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  #243  
Old 04-19-2012, 09:50 PM
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I have found that writing out the situation as well as my reaction to it helps me. I'm real big on the I'm upset, but don't know why. I can go through 3-4 different explanations before getting it right.
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  #244  
Old 04-24-2012, 03:09 AM
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Thanks for the great visit this weekend!!
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  #245  
Old 04-24-2012, 03:23 AM
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I was going to write about our visit. It was good to see you MBG. You have incredible strength!
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  #246  
Old 04-24-2012, 03:31 AM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
I was going to write about our visit. It was good to see you MBG. You have incredible strength!
*waits patiently for Derby's side of how the weekend went*

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  #247  
Old 04-24-2012, 03:38 AM
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I just didn't want to be posting things here without checking with you first

So as you all may have gathered by now I went over to see MBG on the weekend. Her husband has been sick in the hospital for the past 3 months and she's had a lot of other life things going on too. So we've been keeping in touch over facebook and I've been wanting to go over and spend some time with her and hopefully be something of a distraction and some fun since the rest of her life is a little intense at the moment.

We had a visit with her husband and some good talks. I find it amazing what you can cope with and adjust to if you need to. I get the feeling that MBG is giving herself a hard time for not doing better and not being able to do more but I think the amount that she is doing and is holding together is really phenomenal. Hopefully there will be more visits in the near future.
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  #248  
Old 04-24-2012, 03:49 AM
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I'm glad to hear MBG is doing well (as well as might be expected)

I just saw your request for resources on figuring out what you want. My all time favorite author on that topic is Barbara Sher. Her first (I think) book is called Wishcraft. A lot of people came up to her after that book and said, "I know your stuff would work for me, if only I knew what I wanted." So, she wrote a book called 'I could have anything, if only I knew what I wanted' (or something very like that).
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  #249  
Old 06-18-2012, 10:16 PM
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Wow what a weekend. I've been working on mending bridges with the husband of a friend of mine in the city where I grew up. It's been a bumpy road and emotionally exausting. We are coming from 2 completely different worlds. In the course of the conversation I found out that his biggest issues with me came from a conversation he had with my husband and he figured that I must think in exactly the same way.

It doesn't make sense to me to think that couples aren't made of 2 individuals. I'm wondering though if that isn't just a part of monogamous culture. I find it quite patronizing that he would believe that I can't think for myself and must obviously defer to my husband's point of view.

For myself somthing I've learned in this process is that I don't trust those close to me to make good decisions in terms of mates. And in not trusting I damage the potential friendship I might have with these new people who are in my life by extention. It doesn't matter that the qualities that I would value in a partner aren't there, I'm not in a relationship with them. My only requirement for interaction with anyone who I'm not in a relationship with should be mutual respect. My friends and lovers are adults and as such they know what they require from a relationship and I need to trust that they are chosing wisely for themselves.
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  #250  
Old 07-23-2012, 04:09 PM
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I was so lonely last night for no good reason. I had a weekend filled with adventure (I went spelunking). And then as soon as I got home I was all alone. The kids are camping with their grandparents this week and my husband was out on a coffee date. There I was alone in the house with the laundry to do and the pets to take care of and just a big feeling of emptiness inside me.

This past week I have gone to bed alone every night and have gotten up alone every morning. I feel like I'm walking in a different world than the rest of the people in my house.

I think it's also being aggravated by both my husband and RP having new people in their lives. Although I'm not feeling the need for more in my life I am still envious of the shiny new they are experiencing.

It's not like no one is interested in me it's just the the feeling hasn't been reciprocal when someone has shown interest in me so I tend to write those off as not counting. I have to remind myself that it's not a competition. If something is meant to be it will happen. I would rather have something develop organically anyway if it's going to happen.
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