Peace and joy and love

[Derbylicious]

Thanks Ari.

I did very specifically go over a buch of other things that I don't want talked about with anyone else just so that hopefully this kind of thing can be avoided in the future. I've also asked that if he feels at all like it might be bordering on something that may be an issue for me that he asks me before discussing it with anyone else first.

It is challenging to know where the line is between what is ours to share and what belongs to someone else, especially when the last 17 years of your lives have been spent together. There is a lot of overlap and shared experiences, some of which have a more personal spin on them to each of us than others. So when do I get those mind reading abilities???

[Ariakas]

Originally Posted by Derbylicious

It is challenging to know where the line is between what is ours to share and what belongs to someone else, especially when the last 17 years of your lives have been spent together. There is a lot of overlap and shared experiences, some of which have a more personal spin on them to each of us than others.

Another point to shared stories, his version of the story from his viewpoint may be very different from yours. Another reason why some shared stories require more discretion or at the very least, any creative elaboration

So when do I get those mind reading abilities???

I will let you know when I am done buildign the first teleporter. I figure it will happen around the same time

[marksbabygirl]

Originally Posted by Derbylicious

We had a talk at our last poly meeting about communication and the ways in which one can chose to react to a situation. One of the things that was mentioned was denial. Well apparently I'm really good at denying something is bothering me. It all leaked out last night though.

I object to those I've never met and who I've not been given any choice in the matter being given that kind of information.

(so much for peace and joy and love huh?)

I get this. I understand it. I like to be vague and share what I want to share, and when something incredibly personal and private is shared without my consent, it does a lot to kill trust.

I firmly believe that joy and love are action words... and peace follows when you're working towards love and joy.

Thanks for the chatter last night though - sorry to dump on you... apparently when I drink I get chatty Should hear me when I'm on the phone LOL

[Derbylicious]

Today is a good day. I met RP for coffee (while playing hooky from work). Tomorrow I leave for a week for Christmas. Nothing is getting done at work. I'm in holiday mode already. Tomorrow I have a meeting to run and that's probably all I'm going to do other than warm my chair.

Once we get home new years party planning will be underway! I'm pretty excited about having a new year's party. 2010 has had it's ups and downs, I'm looking forward to celebrating the close of this year and all it's brought and also welcoming the new year with all it's potential.

That's the same reason that I love Fridays...the whole weekend is in front of you filled with sparkly potential. As much as I enjoy living in the present I also love to get caught up in the dream of what could be.

[redpepper]

I've been reading, and wanted to sign on to your thread Derby... nothing to report... just stalking I know how too you know... not just you.

[Fidelia]

Originally Posted by Derbylicious

There's something that my husband told his girlfriend months ago, before I had even met her, that concerns me and that I'm really really not proud of. The information that was shared could have some pretty severe repercussions to me if it was to make it into the hands of the wrong people. I readily admit that I made a choice and that it was the wrong choice but the knowledge of the choice that I made should have been mine to share with who I trust.

I'm with you on this point, Derby. Confidentiality and discretion are issues Fidelio and I take very much to heart, and even so we faced some pretty big challenges working out clear boundaries around who/what/how to share or protect information.

[Derbylicious]

Originally Posted by redpepper

I've been reading, and wanted to sign on to your thread Derby... nothing to report... just stalking I know how too you know... not just you.

And we both stalk so subtlely!

[redpepper]

Originally Posted by Derbylicious

And we both stalk so subtlely!

heh, don't we though?

[Derbylicious]

Well I made it to Calgary in one piece. The trip was interesting as usual. Nothing like a 10 hour car ride to do a lot of talking. I'm pooped now. I've only had about 4 hours sleep since yesterday morning. Hopefully I'll get some time to write tomorrow a little about our conversations.

[BrigidsDaughter]

Originally Posted by SNeacail

This hits very close to home for me. My husband is big on Non-Verbal communication, my problem is that I don't read his non-verbal very well or my inter-galactic translator is malfunctioning

I just ran this by the b/f and asked why I didn't come equipped with one of these and he replied "You were, but you probably swallowed it. You swallow everything. :P" LOL. But seriously, I could use one of those to communicate with my husband too. I wish that he could get inside my head and understand me the way the b/f does.

Originally Posted by Ariakas

I will let you know when I am done buildign the first teleporter. I figure it will happen around the same time

Let me know when you've perfected that.....we've been wanting a teleporter for at least a year now. Our other halves don't have access to reliable transportation and we only have one car, so it makes getting together for quality alone time difficult.


Good luck with the communication/ boundaries issue. I'm dealing with it a bit myself. My hubby is a voyeur and when I was younger I was more of an exhibitionist than I am now, so he always wants to know more details than I want to share about my sexual exploits with the boyfriend when he's not there.