Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Life stories and blogs

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #781  
Old 03-21-2014, 09:28 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 4,334
Default

Re (from FullofLove1052):
Quote:
"I have developed an aversion to my therapy. I feel stifled when I sit in an office and talk about my feelings, thoughts, opinions, etc."
I've multiple times reached points in my life where I had to realize, "You know, I don't think this therapy is getting me any further than I already was anymore. Time to move on."

You know the old saying, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." You are feeling fine in your life right now, and things are going well. Maintainance therapy is all well and good but IMO not necessary, especially if you long to spend those hours nurturing your life and relationships in other ways.

My vote is, take a break from counseling for awhile. (Make sure Matt's okay with that of course.) If you (and Matt) continue to feel fine, and all's going well with the family in general, then don't worry about going back to the counselor any time soon. This isn't a slam against your counselor, it's just an acknowledgement that now may not be the period in your life when counseling is needed.

While they don't do it maliciously, I think sometimes counselors have an open-ended plan with their clients. There will be no time when the counselor will say, "I think you're doing well and you and I can probably cease making any new appointments for the time being." After all, well first of all *something* can *always* be done to improve life and relationships, so hey why not continue the counseling, and second, hey if the patient gets well then the counselor loses a client -- and the payments the counselor gets for that client.

Not to be all cynical about it. I even wonder if it's not "trade wisdom" to wait for the patient to end the appointments, rather than making that call for the patient. Kind of like how some service desks will insist that the customer on the phone be the one to hang up, so that no one can say the service desk hung up on the customer. The counselor may be thinking, "When my patient is ready to cease counseling, she'll know she's ready."

Well, perhaps the time has come that you know you're ready. Your life's not perfect but no one's is, and you are feeling ready to stand on your own two feet. Why not give it a try? even just a temporary hiatus as a test? Tell your therapist you'd like to wait longer between appointments. If things continue to go well, then make the waits between appointments longer and longer until it's pretty obvious you can say, "Yeah, let's make today our last appointment."

From my remote PC, it looks like you (and Matt, and the kids etc.) are doing well and are ready to go therapy-free for awhile at least, and perhaps for good. So that's my (unsolicited) vote.

It's awesome all the progress you guys have made in the last year and I just think you deserve many kudos and the encouragement to "carry on."

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
  #782  
Old 03-21-2014, 10:02 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.
Posts: 863
Default

Thank you, Kevin. Marriage counselling is not as aggressive. Our therapist believes we are healthy and do not need to see her much or at all. We only go twice a month. Yesterday's appointment was 30 minutes, and we were both like, "This would be a good stopping point." It is not the crutch it once was. I am confident in our abilities to stand on our own feet and utilise everything we have learned. Before we were going every week and each appointment was 90-120 minutes or so. I am fine with checking in quarterly or strictly as needed. We talked about it briefly before he left for the weekend, but nothing is set in stone. I am taking an indefinite break from my one-on-one appointments. Naturally we will continue the weekly family therapy, but that is about it.
__________________
Lizzy formerly known as Ry - Me. Panromantic demisexual with a history of polyamorist tendencies. Married to...
Matt - The once distant stranger that I complement beautifully. DH of 12 years and father of our (3) children.
Closed.

My Blog
Reply With Quote
  #783  
Old 03-21-2014, 10:10 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 4,334
Default

That sounds like a good plan to me.

Heh, and I'm probably conflating the words "counseling" and "therapy" inappropriately, but I think you still understood me well.
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
  #784  
Old 03-22-2014, 03:27 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 3,483
Default

You were doing individual, marital and family therapy? No wonder you're burnt out.

My only concern (besides the eating disorder) is the decision to foster with intent to adopt, and after the fact worrying you're not eligible as adoptive parents because of your fairly recent extreme marital discord and "alternative" relationship style resulting in a fiery breakup and your daughter being hurt by Si. I'd hate for the teenager to be hurt if you aren't approved for adopting her. I also question why you made the choice to adopt right after the marriage almost went down the tubes, and you moved from England to Australia!

I've had stress just moving 20 miles! New jobs, new neighborhood, in your case, entirely new country with all the big differences that come with that. And a baby under age 2, new school for both kids, new friends, etc etc. Time to add a teenager to the mix? Why?
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 58, living with:
miss pixi, 37, who is dating (NRE):
Master, 32
Reply With Quote
  #785  
Old 03-24-2014, 04:25 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.
Posts: 863
Default

Couples therapy started in March of last year. We took a short break, but even before we moved, we were working with our current therapist remotely. Individual therapy started at the beginning of April. I have not taken any breaks. Family therapy started in January. Integrating her required the skills of a professional, patience, and time.

I lost more weight than expected last year because of the various stressors surrounding this situation. I did not set out to lose anything more than the last few kgs of pregnancy weight, but I did. I let the weight fall off naturally instead of killing myself to get back into my jeans. I am not the best about taking time to eat. If I am busy or in motion, eating becomes secondary. I was able to admit that I was a little too small for my liking this time around, and I happily found a nutritionist and a personal trainer. Was I hesitant? Yes, but it was not stemming from a place of, "I am already too fat." It was more along the lines of, "I am comfortable at this weight." I have changed my diet for Lent, so I am not eating red meat, bread, or anything that contains sugar. I need something to balance it out because I did not want another drop in my weight to occur.

I am not worried about what the perception of us being in therapy is. It shows that we are not perfect but cared enough about our marriage to seek outside help. Fact is marriages weather tough times. Maybe not the precise issues we had, but seeking therapy is more common than not. We have been transparent about being in therapy for the past year. I am not ashamed of that. We can explain that away by saying we needed to strengthen our marriage and improve communication. We needed to do both. As long as we can prove or show that we are better now than before, I consider some degree of transparency a good thing.

My past relationship structuring was not that big of an issue when it came to fostering. Fostering is generally on a respite basis or an in-between placement home, so the requirements are similar but not exactly the same. Most children know it is temporary and not to get too attached. It is completely different when you adopt and take permanent legal responsibility of a child. They want to know that when a child is placed with you long-term that it will be in his or her best interest, so they care about all facets of your life: past, present, and future.

As progressive as the laws of this state are, poly is still not part of those laws and not entirely accepted or understood. A same-sex couple or single person would be approved faster than a person with "multiple, loving relationships."*Off the record, the belief is poly is unstable because of the potential influx of people. For an adolescent--like our daughter--with known abandonment and some level of attachment issues, poly is especially frowned upon because said child might get hurt in grown-up bullshit. Our youngest daughter may be resilient and eventually forgive and bounce back. For someone like our oldest to let someone in, develop trust and a bond, and then lose them would be a devastating blow. They have to be handled differently. People can try to sugar coat this or blame it on the society's ignorance, but the truth is a beast. My daughter is walking confirmation of the belief that children can get hurt in the crossfire.

To give you an idea of how stringent the requirements are, some states require that you do not conceive during the first two years after adoption. In one state, they will not let you adopt if the potential adoptee is older than biological children. In another state, they require that one parent be a stay at home parent for the first full year. Obviously multiple relationships that require you to be out of the home would not be embraced or understood. Would anyone really understand if I needed to spend 2-3 nights a week away from home to be with a co-primary? Would they understand if there was an upset in years of therapy because she got hurt by someone I was dating? These are some of the questions I asked myself over the course of those five months before her placement.

The greatest irony of all is even though there has been an addition to our family, I am still 100x more available now than I ever was when I had a second relationship. Being a mum has never required me to be out overnight, have dates, or anything that comes with being in a relationship. She has detracted nothing from our marriage or recovery efforts. She has not infringed on the bonding with our other children. Another romantic relationship would have killed any renewal efforts, and it would have made our youngest daughter retreat because she is fiercely protective of me and anything that "takes me away from her." She is not jealous or envious of another child, though. Another child does not pose a threat like my ex, and our therapist's belief is my ex is a trigger because she blames her for taking and keeping me away from her. When she talked to her, she asked why she was not upset about me working long hours, and she rationalised it by telling her that mummies and daddies have to work to take care of their families.

We simply saw the opportunity to do something good. When we first met her, she was waiting for placement again. Her pending placement fell through, and it broke my heart to watch the disappointment unfold. We took an interest in foster caring, but it was not something up for immediate consideration. We said in the future and left it at that. After her placement fell through, it seemed like opportunity was knocking. It felt like a good idea. We never act in haste. We slept on it for awhile, talked about it in and out therapy, and even brought our daughter and parents into the fold. We talked about it with her, but we did not make any guarantees or promises. The idea of adoption was born to give her the stability she craved and needed, but it was not the immediate goal. We felt moved to protect her and shield her in ways no one else has. I had a happy and loving childhood, and no child should be deprived of that.

We had over five months to decide if we really wanted to go through with it while we waited for approval to become foster carers. We had to undergo training, background checks, home evaluations, etc. before accreditation and placement. The option to bow out gracefully was always present, but we did not want to fail her like everyone else in her life. Nothing in my life the past 12 months has been predictable or expected. I am just going with it and riding the waves that life is sending my way.

It was always known that before our first child's first year of school, a relocation would be a given. This is why he got pissed off when I suggested scrapping the plans because my ex did not want to move. Years had went into the plans, and changing in the eleventh hour rubbed him wrong.

Moving across the world was not an easy task, but the adjustment has been relatively easy. No matter how much you plan for, sometimes the unexpected happens. Have there been interesting moments? Absolutely. It took me awhile to get my bearings here. I discover something new every day. I am not particularly keen on new people, and I prefer to keep a tight circle of people I socialise with. I have made acquaintances. I classify very few as friends. Our son is in a nursery, and this is the first time he has ever been in one. I had a bit of separation anxiety and worried about everything. Their paediatrician in London was why I decided to keep them out of a nursery. (He said nurseries were nothing but a cesspool of germs.) Our youngest daughter started school for the first time, and she was more ready than I was. Our oldest is in high school. Peer pressure, dating, driving, drugs, sex, teen pregnancy, uni plans, etc. We have been here almost a year and everything has tamed down. We have settled into routines and constantly tweaking them. They have co-curricular interests, have made friends, and our two youngest seem to love school. The move was good in the sense that we all needed a fresh start.

Why? Why not? The timing was not perfect, but when is anything in life perfect? I could understand asking why if it was at this point last year. Fresh from a separation, not on speaking terms, no trust, reluctantly going to therapy, still wanting a divorce, hurting one another, and butting heads over custody arrangements. Those circumstances were not conducive to foster caring or even healthy parenting of the two we already had. By month nine, our marriage looked nothing like it did, and our therapist was pushing the baby birds out of the nest to fly on their own. Should we have simply basked in that newly renewed love and focused on fostering relationships with the two children we already had? Of course. We are still doing that. This is no different than a couple wanting to have another child because they have enough love in their hearts and time in their lives to do it.

I only wonder if I would be asked why I chose not to terminate a pregnancy if I had become pregnant while in rebuilding mode. For the record, I would have kept the hypothetical baby.
Reply With Quote
  #786  
Old 03-24-2014, 08:55 PM
SNeacail's Avatar
SNeacail SNeacail is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Near Disneyland
Posts: 1,531
Default

When you struggle to keep your weight up (enough to please the doctors), giving up food (putting yourself on a restrictive diet) for lent is probably not the wisest choice. One of the three might have been more reasonable. I'm sure there were plenty of things other than food that would have even been just as hard to give up for 40 days.
Reply With Quote
  #787  
Old 03-24-2014, 11:50 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 3,483
Default

It is different from deciding to have another biological child because legal authorities are involved, poking into your lives and choices and mistakes... getting knocked up involves no one but you and your 2 sets of reproductive organs. This was your worry a few posts back. You didn't think it through, it seems to me.

I am confused about the timeline, but it seems to me as if you 2 looked into fostering, then adoption, as soon as you got to Australia. You didn't mention it on this blog until the teenager was already living with you.

I know you've got a nanny and you had a moving company pack, move, unpack and arrange all your belongings. I sure didn't have that, being a person of a less than stellar income. I can also see that you like to keep busy, so you gave up a few hours at work, a few hours a week with a lover, and needed to fill the gap. After all, both your biological babies are in school full time, and have a nanny for when they are home!

It's why Brad and Angelina can adopt or give birth to like, 8 kids and still have busy careers. Stacks and stacks of money.

I don't know if money can cover the sketchiness of you having had a 2nd partner who aided and abetted you in causing havoc in your family. I hope it works out with the adoption authorities so your children aren't hurt again by losing their new big sister.

And now it seems to me you're using Jesus to excuse and continue in your anorexia?

It's worrisome.
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 58, living with:
miss pixi, 37, who is dating (NRE):
Master, 32
Reply With Quote
  #788  
Old 03-25-2014, 12:49 AM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.
Posts: 863
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
When you struggle to keep your weight up (enough to please the doctors), giving up food (putting yourself on a restrictive diet) for lent is probably not the wisest choice. One of the three might have been more reasonable. I'm sure there were plenty of things other than food that would have even been just as hard to give up for 40 days.
I prefer fish and seafood. I could be content with living a vegan or vegetarian lifestyle. If I eat red meat a couple of times a month, that is more than enough. I cut it out prior to Lent, and I have not missed it at all.

Sugar is the only thing I really gave up for Lent because it is my weak spot. Bread was secondary. I got a late start this year because the food and wine festival was going on. I succumbed to temptation and had doughnuts last week. Fried, filled with jelly, and drizzled with icing. I do not need to eat that rich gelato from Gelato Messina. I also do not need that 10 kg Cadbury bar from Costco. I do not need red velvet cupcakes or triple chocolate/fudge Ghirardelli brownies. 40 days without will not break me.

I gave up bread because I gave up sugar. I have quirks when it comes to food. I cannot eat crumpets without honey and whipped ricotta. I cannot eat scones without cream and rose petal jam. I cannot eat croissants without mascerated strawberries and mascarpone. I will only eat a bagel if has been lightly toasted and topped with fresh preserves. I will not eat French toast if it is not on brioche and does not have some type of berry compote. No sugar, no bread. The goal of this trio is not to lose weight, though.

I know what size I look and feel good at. My GP wants me to gain about 7 kgs. All of it would go straight to my bum and hips. IMO, that is too much for my frame. I gain weight in my lower half. I am not trying to give Kim K. a run for her money in the bum department. I agreed to gain weight in muscle.

I am not a walking lollipop. I do not have bones protruding. Thigh gaps are not appealing. There is no scale in our home. No mirrors are covered. I never have days where I think I look fat. Do I love every single cm of skin? No, but I like my body and the skin I am in. The biggest sources of discomfort are the scars from his surgery and my C-section. Nothing I can do about either. *shrug*
Reply With Quote
  #789  
Old 03-27-2014, 04:57 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.
Posts: 863
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
It is different from deciding to have another biological child because legal authorities are involved, poking into your lives and choices and mistakes... getting knocked up involves no one but you and your 2 sets of reproductive organs. This was your worry a few posts back. You didn't think it through, it seems to me.
I thought about it quite thoroughly. What is worrying going to do or change? I was worried because I was unsure of what certain people would say. I omitted a whole damn book in my romantic life. How would it look if brother-in-law dearest mentioned that one ex that we all failed to mention? He did not, but he contemplated doing it. That one ex of 12 years that was an extramarital relationship. Oh that would be smiled upon.

Quote:
I am confused about the timeline, but it seems to me as if you 2 looked into fostering, then adoption, as soon as you got to Australia. You didn't mention it on this blog until the teenager was already living with you.
I wanted to have another child. I was not willing to get pregnant again a year later. Fostering, surrogacy, and adoption were suggestions to accomplish that. Nothing was set in stone. The only informal decision was to wait until our youngest was older. Preferably school aged; 3-5. I love being a mum, but the last experience put me off of the idea of carrying another baby. I was not sure I could deal with the aftermath if he/she had issues or was born prematurely. None of the conversations with numerous specialists--backing the notion that there was nothing I could have done differently--helped my guilt or sense of failure. One difficult pregnancy was enough for me to say, "I do not trust my body to carry a baby to term." That is why alternatives were considered. I had no intention of fostering or anything when we moved here. The only thing that was agreed upon was not conceiving. My implant is still in and probably will be for the next 2-3 years. Provided it works, I should be in the clear until January 2017 or until I decide to remove it.

Quote:
I know you've got a nanny and you had a moving company pack, move, unpack and arrange all your belongings. I sure didn't have that, being a person of a less than stellar income. I can also see that you like to keep busy, so you gave up a few hours at work, a few hours a week with a lover, and needed to fill the gap. After all, both your biological babies are in school full time, and have a nanny for when they are home!
I had a company do all the work because if I had to do it, we would have been living out of boxes for months. I would encourage anyone to hire a company. It is not that expensive.

I have a nanny. Big deal. I am not leaving my 8 month old 5k km away while I go on a second honeymoon. William and Kate just did that, and her ass does not have a full-time job. I am tired of defending the decision to have a nanny. I am not superwoman, and I cannot be everywhere at every minute. She is not raising my children. She works M-Thurs. Is she the one comforting my baby when she has nightmares? Is she the one staying up all night with a sick child? Is she the one going on family camping weekends? Kissing "boo-boos?" Reading bedtime stories? Checking under the bed/closet for monsters? Being called mummy? Making cupcakes for the prep class? Attending parent meetings? Planning fundraisers with the PTA? Not at all. She only works on Friday nights, which used to be counselling/date night. Matt and the girls will be gone this weekend, and I am spending the weekend with my son. Thus, the nanny will not be on duty at any point.

You act like I am shirking responsibility and leaving my children with the nanny, so I can go drink Black Orchid martinis, get diamond dust facials, flying to Adelaide for lunch, spending five hours at the salon, working out with a trainer, and hosting some bourgeois, pretentious black tie dinner party to raise money for some equally pretentious cause. It is not a crime for me to work, contribute to my household, and help take care of my family. The Stepford way may be to be the dainty little daffodil housewife, but this is not that kind of party. Having a nanny does not make me any less of a mum than any other woman walking this earth. I am sorry you disagree with my choice to have one.

My youngest is at school from 7:45-4ish; Monday-Thursday. I cannot pick him up every day, Matt does not get off until 5-5:30. So the nanny picks him up. My youngest daughter is in school from 8:15-3:15. We leave home at 7:30. Their nanny takes the oldest. I have to be at work for 8:30. I get off at 3, pick up my daughter, spend maybe 30 minutes of 1-on-1 time with her, and on Wednesday/Friday, she has practise. Wednesday's practise starts at 4:30. Friday's practises start at 4 and 4:35. Due to traffic, we usually leave right after she gets out of school. The oldest gets out at a different time every day. Wednesday is the only set day, and it ends at 1:35. Matt picks her up, and they have lunch. If she does not have club meetings or co-curricular practises, she goes every day at 8:20. She gets out at: 3:15 on Mon/Thurs and 3:10 on Tues/Fri. Their nanny or Matt usually pick her up. If I have to drive 35 minutes to get my daughter to practise, picking up the oldest means she would be late every practise.

When we get home between 5:30-6:30, it is time to prepare dinner, do homework, and spend time with my little guy while dinner is on. By 7:00-8:00, we are sitting down and eating dinner as a family. We do not start the bedtime routine until 9:30-10. Prior to that, usually I am spending time with 1-3, helping the oldest with a project/homework, watching Bananas in Pyjamas or some other annoying show, or watching a movie (Monday's). After the little ones are in bed, I take some time to myself, take a bubble bath, catch up on e-mails, read the forum, etc. No matter what, there is always an hour or two of time with Matt. Last night, I went out for drinks, so our time was pushed back but still happened. He just went to bed about 30 minutes ago.

So there is no gap. I am in mummy mode from 3-10:30 or so. Where would a relationship fit? The nanny's day has long been over by that point. I want to spend time with my husband. My argument is there was never any time or room for a relationship. I was a part-time wife and mum in pursuit of that godforsaken other relationship. Stupid choice on all accounts.

If I am busy, it is strictly because of my family. Do I have outside interests? Yes, when I have time. Everyone should have an identity outside of being a parent and/or partner. That is not all I am, and if that is frowned upon, oh well.

Quote:
I don't know if money can cover the sketchiness of you having had a 2nd partner who aided and abetted you in causing havoc in your family. I hope it works out with the adoption authorities so your children aren't hurt again by losing their new big sister.
I am tired of living in the shadow of my mistakes. At some point, a new day has to come. Newsflash to anyone who reads this: I fucked up and made questionable choices. At the end of the day, I am human and imperfect. Sue the hell out of me for having shitty judgement and allowing some very screwed up sense of loyalty to cause the damage that it did. Shame on me. I cannot change the past and constantly reminding me of my epic failures will not change anything. I have punished myself enough. I live with constant reminders.
Reply With Quote
  #790  
Old 03-27-2014, 06:18 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 4,334
Default

No criticism/reminders from me, FWIW. I can see there is a risk involved in attempting to adopt, in that the adoption may be rejected by the board for whatever reasons (and we all have reasons why an adoption board could reject us -- I certainly do). I think you chose to foster/adopt because your heart said yes and your mind said, "I think we can do this."

And the same goes for dieting issues. My issue is that I weigh "too much" (compared to what is considered "normal"). Sure I could do better about diet and exercise (not that I do horrible), but there's a limit to how much you can worry about such things and still live a life that is happy (or at least tolerable) for you. I should give up sugar for Lent but I know I'd never follow through with that commitment. I just know me. Regimentation goes over like a lead brick. I do much better (internally at least) when I make intuitive decisions as I go along.

So okay, some of us are curvaceous, others are light on the scale. This is not a problem, it is called diversity. As long as you don't starve yourself to death, I'll not concern myself with the details of what you eat (or don't eat). Take care of yourself, your husband, and your kids, and you will be fine.

As for class warfare and its euphemistic relatives, it makes me feel much better when people respect each other's lot in life whatever that may be. Last time I checked money is only important when you're so bad off you're living on the streets not knowing where your next meal will come from. Since I am much better off than that, I don't begrudge you a few perks in life, especially given the highly-valued occupations you and Matt are engaged in. In fact I am gratified that you don't talk down to me at all. I know some people would let their high status go to their head. You don't and I commend you for it.

Perhaps it's because I'm rather me-centric, but the truth of the matter is I'll seldom pass judgment without an insidious pattern of unmitigated, unwarranted, personal provocation. Since you have never been anything but courteous and kind towards me, I am inclined to return the favor.

You will have more challenges in your life I'm sure. We all do. We all need "the help of the gods" from time to time. It is not a perfect world. Like Job, you can have a great deal in life on one day, then lose it all the next. And if you're like me, you end up hurting people in your life as well. Do the best you can to make up for the bad and don't be afraid to hope for the good. That's my vote anyway.
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
anger management, bisexual female, blame, break-ups, breaking up, changing loyalties, children, co-parenting, competition, coupledom, demanding partners, divorce, from poly to mono, making excuses, married and polyamorous, poly co-parenting, poly to mono, primary/secondary, therapy, triad fallout, trust, vee dynamics, vee vs. triad

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:02 AM.