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  #61  
Old 04-11-2013, 04:54 PM
Matt Matt is offline
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Your blog makes for a good read. I'm happy that you have an outlet for your thoughts. I bet you thought I'd never say this, but I'm actually hopeful that you and Kens work out your issues. She's a good woman, and I know that she loves you. I respect your decision to work on one at a time and figure out things. Do whatever you have to do. You have my support. It takes strength to make such a hard decision. I know she's important to you, and kill me now for admitting this, but she's an important part of our lives. Did I just say "our?" Let that marinate...

Stop worrying about what the kids are doing, and for the record, I seriously got this. The kids aren't colouring on the walls...yet.

Last edited by Matt; 04-11-2013 at 05:34 PM.
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  #62  
Old 04-11-2013, 05:37 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt View Post
Your blog makes for a good read. I'm happy that you have an outlet for your thoughts. I bet you thought I'd never say this, but I'm actually hopeful that you and Kens work out your issues. She's a good woman, and I know that she loves you. I respect your decision to work on one at a time and figure out things. Do whatever you have to do. You have my support. It takes strength to make such a hard decision. I know she's important to you, and kill me now for admitting this, but she's an important part of our lives. Did I just say "our?" Let that marinate...

Stop worrying about what the kids are doing, and for the record, I seriously got this. The kids aren't colouring on the walls...yet.
Thanks. I have your vote of support? What the bloody devil has gotten into you? I heard from a little birdie that you two have talked. That makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

Our daughter is giving me updates.
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  #63  
Old 04-11-2013, 05:44 PM
Matt Matt is offline
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I can bribe the kid with a trip to that store she likes. I don't want to go shopping, but I can ask someone else to take her. Before the kid tells you, we're having take out tonight. This dance class is still going on, and cooking this late ain't happening.

We've talked on a few occasions. She called me and got me on the first try. Rarity, eh? Go enjoy your night. Don't do anything I wouldn't...
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  #64  
Old 04-11-2013, 05:54 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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The kids aren't colouring on the walls...yet.
Get butcher paper, tack it to the wall and tell the kids to color and paint away (just stay on the paper). Then the kids can tattle that dad let them color on the wall .
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  #65  
Old 04-11-2013, 06:02 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Well, this is an interesting turn of events, if I may say so. 0_0
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The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.
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  #66  
Old 04-11-2013, 06:10 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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This family does an awful lot of long distance traveling. Some people need to clear their heads, they take a walk around the block. Go get a beer at the pub. Go to the gym.

Others, apparently, fly 1200 miles.
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  #67  
Old 04-11-2013, 07:15 PM
Matt Matt is offline
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I never expected my wife to end her relationship. Balance was nonexistent. Trust is up in lingo. There's more wrong than right. She did what she needed. I was trying to find a way to work with it and allow her to keep both.


I never accepted who she was. I kinda swallowed the bullet and dealt with it. I can't worry about how I reacted to something years ago that wasn't part of my life. I can't force my beliefs on her. Whether she wants to admit it or not, she's hurting. I'm not making any promises. I can't say I'm overjoyed. They do need to make peace. Tomorrow isn't promised.

Being mad at her girlfriend wasn't going to fix anything. It did cause more arguments between us. Especially when I banned her girlfriend from entering our home. I caught hell for that. I was wrong for how I treated her, so I did issue an apology for the way I treated her. Regardless as to how I feel about her, she matters to my wife and kids. That came from talking to my kid. Whether I want her in my personal life is neither here nor there. I don't have to be around her. That's still my choice. I'm not ready to be friends, but I'm willing to get along because my kids need her around. The last thing I need is my kids hating me for taking somebody from them. I'm the reason she stopped being there. The you're not part of my family argument hit home. Whether they're together or not, it seems like I'm gonna have to deal with her. What am I supposed to tell my kids? She can't come to your graduation even though she's like a mother to you. Watch it blow up.
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  #68  
Old 04-11-2013, 07:21 PM
CherryBlossomGirl CherryBlossomGirl is offline
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Default Lovely.

So lovely to see you two talking it out - I am so happy that you're allowing others to read your story too.
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  #69  
Old 04-11-2013, 07:31 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Matt-
Right now, I just want to give you a hug.

I'm so impressed.

SO OFTEN on this board (and other places) I comment to someone that they need to back up and consider the kids... but usually-they have a billion excuses for NOT doing that.

It appears both of you did do that. I know it wasn't likely that it was my post per se that motivated it. I don't care. I'm just so happy to see that you both backed up from the lines you had each drawn in the sand-that weren't benefiting the kids & are re-configuring things and figuring out how to do what is best for the kids and still get your needs met.

It's a great step.
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  #70  
Old 04-11-2013, 09:55 PM
Matt Matt is offline
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My wife and kids are the most important thing to me, and since she's important to them, I have to care to an extent and work with that. I talked to my daughter and listened to her. She speaks highly of her. She's old enough to formulate thoughts of her own and to make decisions about who she does or doesn't want in her life. She wants her in her life. It wasn't fair to my kids. I don't have to be buddy buddy with her, but I can at least be cordial and give her the chance to be there if she wants to be. She's been there all this time, and yeah, my feelings were clouding my judgement. I can admit when I'm wrong. I was wrong. That's not to say we don't have problems. They'll be worked out at some point or another. The kids needs are reigning supreme these days.
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anger management, bisexual female, blame, break-ups, breaking up, changing loyalties, children, co-parenting, competition, coupledom, demanding partners, divorce, from poly to mono, making excuses, married and polyamorous, poly co-parenting, poly to mono, primary/secondary, therapy, triad fallout, trust, vee dynamics, vee vs. triad

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