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  #11  
Old 04-16-2013, 09:36 AM
cinnamonswing cinnamonswing is offline
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i met up with an ex last night for drinks. we broke up about 5 years ago and now only see each other maybe twice a year to catch up, even though we live in the same city. he is another one of those people that just lingers in my head and heart. i think it's because we had an intense relationship, lots of passion and great sex but also a lot of insecurities and jealousy. we ended it, not because we were not in love but because we were kind of driving each other crazy. so, some feelings still there, at least for me. and maybe a year and a half ago when he was seeing his last girlfriend i was at their place for a party and i overheard him pointing me out to one of his friends as "the love of my life", in kind of a joking way, but still. ouch.

now he has a new girlfriend and it does not seem to be working very well. from what he tells me she seems to have a lot of issues with insecurity and some mental issues in general (going on anti-depressants soon). i feel for her, i really do. i know what it is like to be in a relationship with him and to be jealous and insecure. but i never had it as bad as she does. and now i am so grateful that i have a completely different way of looking at it. i was talking to him about my experiences these last months of opening up a relationship, of dealing with my fears and now wanting to be open and share love with other people. he thought it was very interesting and was impressed by how i had "evolved". and said that he wished his girlfriend could see it more that way. the last time i saw him he told me that she had been really nervous about him seeing me, i mean to the point of almost having a panic attack. that made me feel very bad for her of course! i don't want to be a threat to her. and apparently she was feeling the same way this time when he said that he was meeting me, they had almost broken up over it! he was saying that he has to be able to meet friends and she of course agreed with him and does not want to control him but she just feels so bad.

like i said, she has more issues than just me being in his life (which i barely am) and i think they might break up anyway. but i felt very strange about being in the middle of that. because...to me, we are friends, yes. but also, i have some feelings for him. and if the opportunity of making out/having sex with him presented itself to me, i don't know that i would turn it down. so i was feeling a bit guilty. like i was some evil bitch out to "steal" her man. (in the traditional "mono" way of thinking). of course, even if i still have those feelings, there is no reason for her to fear him seeing me as long as he does not have those feelings or at least does not plan on acting on them (again, since they are mono).

but i kind of got strange vibes from him. almost like he was creating a situation that she would be uncomfortable with just so that he would be able to break up with her. i might just totally be making this up. but before he met me, he would always break up with girlfriends by cheating on them. he wouldn't tell them about it, it would just be a way for himself to know that it had to end. like i said, we don't keep in touch very often but now he had contacted me and asked if i wanted to go out for drinks (we could have done some other activity that didn't involve drinking), and this just happens to be when their relationship is in a bad place and he is thinking about breaking up? hmm. i don't want to get involved in someone elses relationship drama, i don't wish to be the reason for someone feeling sad or betrayed. at the same time, i've always had a weak spot for him and probably wouldn't mind "gettin' it on". so, those were some very conflicting emotions for me last night, and being a bit drunk didn't really help me sort them out, you know?
so, we'll see how it goes. when we said goodbye he had gotten lots of texts from her and was calling her to say he was coming home. i think she may have been crying. he said that they would now probably argue for hours...

opinions? should i just have walked away from the situation once i realized that she again was very upset that we were meeting up? or do i not have any responsibility in this? it's tricky.

in other poly news: still keeping in contact with music man, we met and had a couple of beers a few days ago. nice relaxed feeling, great conversation, a bit flirty, said goodbye with some hugs and a kiss on the cheek again. it will be interesting to se how things will progress between us now.

the day before that the ghost was at my place, we played some games, listened to music and then moved into the bedroom for cuddles etc. i am having some "in love" feelings for him, our physical connection is so strong it really makes me heady sometimes. but i can also get a bit stressed out by that, by the possible expectations. when that happens i always bring it back to the feeling and thought that we are first and foremost friends. that melts the stress away and i can go back to just enjoying being with him.

life is good!
____________
me: straight woman in her thirties. new to poly.
music man: was my boyfriend for 2,5 years. some problems in the relationship coincided with discussions of poly (he has always been interested, i began to see the benefits after a lot of research) and we opened up the relationship in the beginning of 2013. at the moment our relationship is mostly a friendship.
the ghost: a guy from my past who never seems to leave my mind. we are now seeing each other again romantically and he seems to be ok with poly so far

Last edited by cinnamonswing; 04-16-2013 at 09:39 AM.
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  #12  
Old 04-18-2013, 12:12 PM
cinnamonswing cinnamonswing is offline
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some news about my ex and his girlfriend...so when we met up the other day and he told me about her jealousy i suggested that she and i could meet. this is a thinking i've definitely picked up from poly, to meet your so called "rivals" to see that they are just people like yourself and not some kind of magical creature with the ability to fulfil your partner's every need (we broke up for a reason, right?). he kind of just laughed at my suggestion though so i didn't think any more of it. then suddenly, last night, she messages me on facebook (we are not friends there, i've never met her although i have had some interaction with her on fb when we were commenting on the same photo, and also i sent her a text once about something that she was supposed to tell my ex because he would not be able to get to his phone at that time). aaaanyway. she says "XX said that maybe you wanted to meet me. how about all three of us go out for a meal at place YY when we get our next paycheck?".

wow, i was really surprised! but kind of nervously happy about the fact that he had suggested it to her and also that she was willing to meet me. she sounds like an interesting girl and i look forward to getting to know her a bit more. i think it will also be much easier for me to stick to "just friends" feelings for my ex if i have met his girlfriend. in his last two relationships he has complained to me about their issues every time we've met up, which i've always felt put me in a weird position. if he is with a girl who makes him happy and he wants to be with only her, i'm happy for him. but with this girl and the one before he has often seemed so miserable, and that has made me think it is more ok if we are flirting. we'll see how it goes. i think she is really brave for wanting to meet me considering the intensity of her feelings. i'll let you know what unfolds.

____________
me: straight woman in her thirties. new to poly.
music man: was my boyfriend for 2,5 years. some problems in the relationship coincided with discussions of poly (he has always been interested, i began to see the benefits after a lot of research) and we opened up the relationship in the beginning of 2013. at the moment our relationship is mostly a friendship.
the ghost: a guy from my past who never seems to leave my mind. we are now seeing each other again romantically and he seems to be ok with poly so far
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  #13  
Old 04-18-2013, 01:11 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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I hope the meeting goes well. She took the initiative to reach out to you, so that tells a little about her character. You two might end up being friends, and if so, that is great.

Sending good vibes your way.
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  #14  
Old 04-18-2013, 02:37 PM
cinnamonswing cinnamonswing is offline
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thank you! yes, i hope that we will get along and that the meeting will at least help to ease some tension.
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  #15  
Old 04-22-2013, 08:12 AM
cinnamonswing cinnamonswing is offline
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in the past week i found myself not being very interested in sex. i met with the ghost and sure, it was nice to hug and kiss for a bit but i kind of just wanted to be left alone. at first i was thinking that maybe i was just frustrated because we never have full on sex. i only want to have safe sex, but his erections rarely last long so using a condom doesn't really work. i kind of started thinking, "what's the point"? sure, there are lots of other things you can do, i was just a bit frustrated.

i was talking to a friend about it, that i was frustrated with the sex, but at the same time i wasn't really in the mood for sex at all this week. she said "well then what's the problem?" i said that i was worried, what if i would never want to have sex again, "what if i've lost my mojo"?? i know, after one week without sex drive, so dramatic... she has been single for a long time and said that sometimes she can go a really long time without even thinking about sex, and then suddenly she wants it again. of course in theory i know that it's natural for the sex drive to go up and down, but i realized that for many years i have mostly been in relationships, and in relationships you have to "make sex happen". what an eye-opener. that my sexuality is my own, and shouldn't be forced to happen because of someone else. so obvious, duh! why is it so easy to put pressure on yourself and to want things to be a certain way, instead of just letting them be what they are?

the ghost is being all lovey-dovey and that is nice but i haven't felt like i could reciprocate this week. i don't want him to have this idealized view of me. i want us to be our own individuals. he wants to see me a lot and i just want to be able to miss him a bit, you know? my head is buzzing with all sorts of vague thoughts. if i just knew exactly what they were, i could speak to him about it. but now i am mostly confused. i do think we need to talk again about what we want out of our relationship, and to make it clear that i will be seeing other people and that he can do the same. we had a talk earlier but we didn't go into detail so i just want to make sure that he is fine with it. i just have to be mature and honest, and if that makes him sad i can't really do much about it. hmmm.

on saturday night i was out to dinner with some friends, and then went home to a girl i know where some other girls were having drinks before going out. they are nice girls but i was in kind of a gloomy mood. again, buzzing thoughts and feelings that i couldn't really sort out. i guess there was a feeling of not being connected to anyone, and also not to myself, that left me a bit sad. the girls were talking excitedly about different people they thought were attractive, mostly celebrities. then they were talking about their boyfriends but mostly about problems in the relationships or things that annoyed them about their partner. that made me kind of sad as well.

then we went out to a club to see a band i like. one of the girls kind of took it upon herself to find guys for the girls who were single. i thought it was more awkward than fun and told her not to just drag some poor guy over to me. i don't really need a wingwoman. she said "i can't flirt anymore (since she is in a relationship) so i like doing this". that kind of bummed me out as well. that she needed an excuse to be able to talk to other guys so she had to play matchmaker. i wasn't in the mood to hook up with someone. there was a guy that i was hoping would be there, but he was at another party i found out later. it's the guy i had my first date with back when music man and i first opened up our relationship. let's call him art boy to make it easier. i only slept with him once, a couple of months ago, and nothing has happened since, although we keep in touch and have spoken about doing something but couldn't fit our schedules together. i am annoyed to find that i'm kind of hung up on him. he is a really interesting person and i think he is so attractive. but it annoys me because even though he's a great guy i think it's mostly the fact that i can't have him that makes me want him so much. that's just silly. so at the club i was wishing he would be there, and when i realized that the only guy i saw there that i was really attracted to looked a bit like art boy, i got even more annoyed. i keep seeing people that look like him. that's what you do when you're smitten with someone, right? ugh. annoying. i went home quite early since i had a date planned for the day after, which was yesterday.

so yesterday i met up with a guy from an internet dating site. he was a smart nerdy looking guy with a dry sense of humour, which is just the way i like 'em. we went for a long walk in the sunshine, talking about music and our families and other things. then we went to a screening of the texas chainsaw massacre, which neither of us had seen before so that was fun. well, fun maybe isn't the best word to describe that experience... but we liked it! then we walked around some more before saying goodbye at my tram stop. i had no idea what he thought of me or the date. like i've written before here i have this thing where a lot of times if i'm attracted to someone i think they can't be attracted to me. so as the date progressed and i got to know him and like him more, he became more attractive to me and therefore in my sick head, i must be less attractive to him. so we didn't hug or anything, just said goodbye and "talk to you later...". but when i got home he texted me and said that he knew he had probably made a really bad impression but that he had really enjoyed meeting me etc. so apparently he had been very nervous. i replied that he had not made a bad impression at all, quite the opposite and that i would be happy to see him again some time. then we texted a bit back and forth.
fun!

____________
me: straight woman in her thirties. new to poly.
music man: was my boyfriend for 2,5 years. some problems in the relationship coincided with discussions of poly (he has always been interested, i began to see the benefits after a lot of research) and we opened up the relationship in the beginning of 2013. at the moment our relationship is mostly a friendship.
the ghost: a guy from my past who never seems to leave my mind. we are now seeing each other again romantically and he seems to be ok with poly so far
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  #16  
Old 05-02-2013, 11:13 AM
cinnamonswing cinnamonswing is offline
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so, a quick update...not a lot has happened, but
* the sex drive is back! yay! i'm still not getting it on though, but now at least i have the inclination...
* had a nice time with the ghost yesterday, took a long walk in the sunshine and talked some more about relationships etc. i think he got a much better understanding of what i want (i was very clear that he of course could see other people if he wanted to and that i would like to know about it) and we seem to agree. we just want to keep seeing each other and let it be what it is. woohoo!
* haven't seen music man in a couple of weeks, he has been working a lot but spoke to him on the phone yesterday and we'll try to meet up next week. i have been a bit disappointed that he hasn't made more efforts to see me, but i've been busy as well. i need to remind myself to let that relationship be what it is as well.
* the guy who broke it off with me (didn't want poly) a few weeks ago invited me to come watch him sing at a cafť the other day so i went. nice singing and he looked very handsome in a suit. swoon. had a friendly chat afterwards. he is apparently friends with music man's brother and his girlfriend so they were there. i don't know if they know about us dating, music man might have told them...i thought they gave me kind of weird looks...
* art boy is still plaguing my mind. ugh. stop this crush, stupid brain.
* i have another date with the nerdy guy from last weekend tomorrow, we're going to a concert. should be fun! we have been texting and exchanging music recommendations. he even made me a playlist. aaaw.
* i apparently gave my number to some irish guy on the tram on the way home from a club the other night? hmm. seemed like a good idea at the time, now i'm a bit nervous. we'll see if and how we meet up again. i don't think he was exactly my type (arty/nerdy boyish types with red/blonde hair), but he seemed smart and had nice eyes and since this town is so full of hipsters now i don't even mind beards anymore.

that's all for now!

____________
me: straight woman in her thirties. new to poly.
music man: was my boyfriend for 2,5 years. some problems in the relationship coincided with discussions of poly (he has always been interested, i began to see the benefits after a lot of research) and we opened up the relationship in the beginning of 2013. at the moment our relationship is mostly a friendship.
the ghost: a guy from my past who never seems to leave my mind. we are now seeing each other again romantically and he seems to be ok with poly so far
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  #17  
Old 05-07-2013, 02:18 PM
cinnamonswing cinnamonswing is offline
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the concert date with "nerdy guy" (that name is really not very good. especially since i kind of only date nerds) on friday went really well, i was in a relaxed happy mood, the music was good and we ended up hanging out with some friends of his at a bar after the show. it turns out that this guy doesn't drink, which i think is a refreshing change. it seems like most guys i meet want to go out for drinks when dating and yeah i get it. making out etc comes much easier. but i get really worn out. and it's nice to have a connection with someone and know that it's only your own brain chemicals clouding your judgement and not a few beers as well...after the concert he walked me to my tram and we hugged goodbye. he sent me a text later saying that he had a really good time and that he enjoys hanging out with me, that it's fun and relaxed. i replied something similar, that i find him funny and interesting and good-looking, which apparently made him really happy and he asked if i wanted to go to the movies with him on monday, which was yesterday. i said yes, more on that in a bit.

on saturday i was with the ghost at a birthday party for one of his friends. there were some really interesting and friendly people there and i had a good time. i still like the ghost a lot but sometimes i get worried that he is a little "foggy". i think he might have been smoking a bit too much grass 'cause his memory doesn't really seem to be all that great. oh well. we went back to his place and made out feverishly as usual. still little to no erection though. sigh. we tried it again in the morning but it quickly died down and he had some problems getting the condom on. i really don't want to pressure him but i'm wondering what the problem may be and if he should maybe go and have it checked out by a doctor. also, i was a bit peeved when at one point he put his penis against me without a condom on and it seemed like he wanted to try to put it in. he was kind of joking about it, like "oops, well accidents happen". eeer no they won't, not with me! i have been very clear that i only want to have safe sex so i thought that was kind of disrespectful. the first time i said that we had to use a condom he said "well, if you think we need to..." and i said yes we do. i haven't asked him when he last got tested, if ever. and the other day he told me that he used to see this girl who had a serious drug problem and ended up selling her body to get money for drugs. okeyyyyy. i don't know if they had any sexual contact after she did that, but if so, he doesn't exactly feel like a safe bet for unprotected sex! i think i need to talk some more to him about it.

so anyway, yesterday was the movie date with nerdy guy. during the film, i was wondering if he was going to try and hold my hand, or if i should go for his hand. it kind of felt a bit too clichť, holding hands in the dark...so i thought "oh never mind" and didn't exactly make my hand available. afterwards we went to a bar for some tea and coffee. the music there was quite loud, it was difficult to hear what the other person was saying so you kind of had to lean in all the time...we both seemed quite nervous. then we ended up doing that thing were you make eye contact for a moment too long and then it just drags on and now you are just staring at each other for the longest time and this must mean that someone should make the first move but who and what? it ended up being me stroking his hand which led to some kissing and snuggling. nice! he said that he had been wanting to hold my hand in the cinema but didn't know how to get hold of my hand since i wasn't really offering it. he he. anyway, from what he said he seemed to want to take it slow so i invited him back to my place but thought we would only cuddle. and we did for a long time but then it led to sex. and oh boy, it was so good. sex is such a mystery i think, you never know how it's going to be with someone and why it sometimes works and sometimes not so much. i felt very relaxed with him and our bodies seemed to work together really well. the mystery of sex also makes it quite impossible to compare different people. i couldn't say that he was better than the ghost because we have another type of connection that is really hot. i'm really amazed sometimes how this new poly mindset has changed my views on things, including sex. sex is no longer this potentially dangerous thing that has to be contained within a relationship, but a fun activity and possibly a way to bond with someone. but i have really come to realize that my sexuality is my own, although i can share it with other people. this also means that if i love someone, their sexuality is still their own and if they want to express it with someone else that has nothing to do with me. such a relief!

took the same bus as nerdy guy this morning on his way to work and he said that he really wanted to see me again and get to know me better. sweet!

____________
me: straight woman in her thirties. new to poly.
music man: was my boyfriend for 2,5 years. some problems in the relationship coincided with discussions of poly (he has always been interested, i began to see the benefits after a lot of research) and we opened up the relationship in the beginning of 2013. at the moment our relationship is mostly a friendship.
the ghost: a guy from my past who never seems to leave my mind. we are now seeing each other again romantically and he seems to be ok with poly so far

Last edited by cinnamonswing; 05-07-2013 at 02:48 PM.
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  #18  
Old 05-28-2013, 07:23 AM
cinnamonswing cinnamonswing is offline
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hey it's been a while!

just thought i would do a quick update about what's going on with "the menz" and my feelings about relationships etc these days.

i have been seeing music man a couple of times. one time we went out for drinks and we had a great time. i was thinking that i wanted to kiss him. nothing more really, i just like him and he is attractive. after all that happened between us we said that we should be "just friends" and see what happens. well that was a few months ago and like i've said before i wouldn't mind having some kind of physical relationship again, even if only the occasional kiss and cuddle. always when i see him he is giving me long hugs, a kiss on the cheek etc. but i didn't really know if he would want to make out, and so nothing happened. he was telling me that he has been seeing the same girl (the one he hooked up with when we opened up our relationship) and since he and i only have a friendship relationship now she has been wanting to be monogamous with him (surprise surprise...) which isn't really what he wants but he doesn't really have any poly input (he isn't on any poly boards etc) so i think it's difficult for him. that isn't my problem, it's his, but it's nice that we can have conversations about relationships and maybe he can get some input from me to help him see things more clearly.
i sent him a text on the way home after we met, saying that I would have liked to kiss him but didnít know how he would feel about it. He replied something along the lines of ďoh. itís not that I didnít want to. But right now that might have been a bit too complicated for meĒ and also said that I mean so much to him, regardless of what our relationship looks like. Which is great, of course. And it wasnít like I HAD to kiss him. But if I want to kiss him and he wants to kiss me and the reason for him not doing that is because the person he broke up our monogamous relationship for (since trying out poly was SO important for him) would be upset if he is not monogamous with her, wellÖ.isnít that just a big shovel of irony hitting you over the head? So that kind of made me a bit ticked off.

Oh well. We also met for lunch the other day and when we hugged goodbye he was kind of hovering towards my face like he wanted to kiss me which made me confused so I was kind of moving my face away and he ended up kissing me on my chin. Awkward. I donít even know if he was aiming at my cheek or whatever. The whole thing just feels weird. I certainly donít want to say ďof but if we are only friends you canít do this and thatĒ but I canít figure out his intentions and I donít even know if he knows. Weíll see.

Iím still seeing the ghost and things are very laid back. Yesterday we were just hanging out in a park, drinking a couple of beers and talking about all sorts of things and kissing a bit. I feel very relaxed around him which is nice. I have also been seeing NG (nerdy guy) a lot and he really intrigues me as a person. I want to get to know him better, at the same time Iím quite nervous when we meet because I want him to like me so sometimes I get tense. Ugh. But mostly itís just nice. We had a long talk the other week where i told him about what had happened with music man and how it had changed my view on relationships and that there is someone else that I am seeing. He got very quiet for a bit but asked some more questions, like if the other guy (the ghost) would ask me to be in a relationship with him, would i? I replied no. thatís not want I want, and I have known the ghost for a long time and have had that opportunity before but never wanted to be in a traditional relationship with him. He also asked if I would be angry if he said that me seeing someone else made him feel insecure/uncertain. I said of course not. But that what I was feeling was a bit of fear that he would not want to keep seeing me. It was a good talk, and I havenít seen any difference in his behavior after that, he still wants to see me and is very affectionate etc. a friend of mine asked if Iím tense around him because maybe Iím a little in love. I donít know about that. I donít feel I really know what ďin loveĒ means anymore. I had to google itÖ and the definitions I read sounded more like NRE, like when you have so much energy you donít need to eat or sleep, that person is all you think about etc. thatís not what Iím feeling and I donít necessarily want that feeling. I think it would make me so much more insecure and jealous. i like the feeling of just liking him. being interested in him as a person and being attracted to him. I would like to be more relaxed around him though, but I think that will happen as we get to know each other. the ghost and I have known each other for so long so itís difficult to compare.

well, that's the update for now, i have some work to do. there is a bit more to tell so i'll write more soon. goodbye little blog.
____________________________________________
me: straight woman in her thirties. new to poly.
music man: was my boyfriend for 2,5 years. some problems in the relationship coincided with discussions of poly (he has always been interested, i began to see the benefits after a lot of research) and we opened up the relationship in the beginning of 2013. at the moment our relationship is mostly a friendship.
the ghost: a guy from my past who never seems to leave my mind. we are now seeing each other again romantically and he seems to be ok with poly so far
NG = a guy i have been dating a bit who is very interesting and sweet. he also know about my view on relationships and seems ok with it so far.
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  #19  
Old 06-12-2013, 12:32 PM
cinnamonswing cinnamonswing is offline
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my birthday is coming up next week. usually on my birthday i will meet up with a bunch of friends for some dinner and drinks and maybe karaoke. since i'm friends with all of my exes it has not been uncommon to have one or two exes there, along with my current boyfriend. no problems.

but now, with the poly situation i am in, i was just kind of dreading a birthday celebration. i would want to invite both the ghost and NG (and both are available on that day) but i don't really think they would be comfortable being there together, especially not if i was being affectionate with one or both of them. and i would feel so uptight having them there and not being able to be at least a bit physical, even just to touch their arm or something.

and then i would want to invite music man and i don't know how comfortable HE would be being there along with two new "partners" of mine, our situation hasn't really settled yet. also i was thinking about inviting art boy (the crush is over but i still want to get to know him better) but that would just be crazy.

i know that everyone is responsible for their own reactions and decisions, so in theory i could just be upfront with everyone, invite them all, and see who would want to come. but. it would feel sad not to have one of them there (apart from art boy, that would be fine either way). i was going over it again and again in my mind but couldn't come up with a good solution. i just had this knot in my stomach. i spoke to a friend of mine and said that i didn't even feel like having a celebration. she said "well then why don't you just skip it? it's your birthday, do what you like". phew! the weight was lifted!

with my current situation, it really feels best not to put everyone together at once (it's so new) and i don't want anyone of my dear friends to feel left out. so, on the day i had in mind for the celebration i will just go out for drinks at a fancy place with my best friend. her husband had agreed to stay home with the baby that day anyway so i figured i should use that day since i rarely get to see her and she wanted to go out. other than that i will just meet up with people and hang out as usual. no big celebration this year. it really feels like the right decision!

things are going great with NG. i am having some "in love" feelings which is lovely, but i also think i'm a bit heartbroken and cynical after music man, sometimes i just think "what's the point". like, what is "in love" and why get wrapped up in it when it will just fade away after a couple of years anyway when the hormones wear off. see, i told you i was cynical. i believe in long term relationships, i really do, but i would want them to develop naturally and be what they are meant to be and not panic because i'm not feeling the initial NRE anymore. i have spoken to NG about this, that i want to really get to know him, the person that his friends know, and not see everything through rose-coloured glasses. i told him that i thought i was a little in love with him but i'm afraid i didn't phrase it very romantically, more like i had come down with the flu or something. i suck at this. he didn't say he was in love with me (i wouldn't either, if someone had phrased it like i did) but the way he looks at me and what he says gives me another message. i don't know. i really like him which makes me feel vulnerable which makes me feel jealous sometimes thinking about him seeing someone else (which he is not, as far as i know). i am working through those feelings one by one and it's all fine but it's WORK you know and i'm lazy. still, i'm doing it! i'm happy i have had the chance to get to know him, and we'll see what happens between us.

____________________________________________
me: straight woman in her thirties. new to poly.
music man: was my boyfriend for 2,5 years. some problems in the relationship coincided with discussions of poly (he has always been interested, i began to see the benefits after a lot of research) and we opened up the relationship in the beginning of 2013. at the moment our relationship is a friendship.
the ghost: a guy from my past who never seems to leave my mind. we are now seeing each other again romantically and he seems to be ok with poly so far
NG = a guy i have been dating a bit who is very interesting and sweet. he also know about my view on relationships and seems ok with it so far.
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Old 06-12-2013, 05:40 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Is it possible to spend time with each of them before or on your birthday? Breakfast date, lunch date, dinner/movie, or then after dinner drinks/dessert with someone? It is your birthday, and you can spend it with whoever you want. Are they the types of people to plan surprises or anything? Your birthday or birth week should never be a stressful time. It is supposed to be a celebration of life, so happiness and being surrounded by loved ones is paramount. What do YOU want to do for your birthday? Who do you want to be with? How do you want to spend the time?
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