Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 11-24-2010, 03:53 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
Custodian
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: new england
Posts: 3,221
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by angelMO View Post
i kinda want this to work unfortunately i love Him but really really want to hate Him at the moment and even said that to Him.
Endorphins are fabulous, aren't they. Don't confuse them with "love". Some people may say there is no difference, but I will argue with that until the cows fly home.

[cue ass-whooping for "judgment and conjecture"]
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 11-24-2010, 08:20 PM
Erin's Avatar
Erin Erin is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Chi-town baby!
Posts: 92
Default

I think if he broke the original contract, you have the right to get out, but do it quickly and safely.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 11-24-2010, 08:25 PM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,086
Default

I've read both of those books. They are not bad reads. They are also not either one able to be a full answer. I love to read-so I would say read them, it can't hurt.

I was VERY glad to read that he lets you speak openly-that's key to resolving this.
As a Master in a M/s relationship that is 24/7 I think I understand some of what the complications are-you're welcome to PM me if you have specific questions.

I want to say that the first thing that needs to happen is that you need to identify what your NEEDS are-a Master's job is to ensure that their slaves NEEDS are always met.
NEEDS vs wants gets complicated, because what YOU need may not be what someone else would NEED, it may be what they would simply WANT. So it's imperative that YOU know the difference and be able to express that openly and honestly.

For example-
Music is a NEED for my slave. Without it-he would wither away.
But that is not a NEED for everyone, for some people its simply a luxury.

On the other hand, sex is a luxury for my slave.
BUT if I were the slave, sex is a NEED for me...

You see?

So work on identifying, in simple terms what are YOUR needs in a relationship and what are the steps to ensuring that those needs are met.

"Hardlimits" so to speak. But in relationship context.

So many people get into full time D/s or M/s relationships having only considered their sexual hard limits-but you have to know the relationship hard limits too if you are in a 24/7 dynamic.

The first link below could keep you busy for days-I read every single article and link on it before agreeding to ANY type of D/s or M/s relationship. I would suggest reading it-there are some GREAT links in there and GREAT articles as well.

Also-see if you can find "Awaiting the One" by Author J. Mikael Togneri. I can't recall where I found it-I printed it and gave it to my slave, but it may have some useful hints on ways to work through and around the issues you are struggling with in your M/s dynamic.


good links to check out:

http://www.leathernroses.com/general...eneralbdsm.htm
http://libbysub.blogspot.com
http://dennisnajee.blogspot.com/
http://www.asubmissivesjourney.com/pageb.html
http://www.bdsm-education.com/sitemap.html



http://talesofalovingdom.blogspot.com/
http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/Ds/d_s.htm
http://anownedlife.com/
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 11-24-2010, 08:35 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
Custodian
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: new england
Posts: 3,221
Default

So GG is your slave now? Or has that been the case for quite some time already?

I don't read all the threads so I often remain ignorant of important developments.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 11-24-2010, 08:42 PM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,086
Default

Has been for awhile now.
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 11-25-2010, 05:27 AM
angelMO angelMO is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 8
Default smiles

Master and i and anna sat down tonight and talked....really talked and He explained a lot of things to me. anna was a slave He sent away to protect her.... He was in love with her and anna says loving a slave and being in love with a slave are not the same thing.
He has no contact with her for 2 years .... He falls in love with me ... She shows up has been through hell and He feels guilty and an overwhelming need to protect her as well as the love He had never let go of. i only hope He loves me half as much....anna says He loves me more.
HIs world turns chaotic...toss into the mix a major snow storm and work turns chaotic as well. Now Master is on overload....and has His alpha feeling confused and left out...anna on His mind ... and yeah a bit of an ego trip came on as well He says.
He apologised for leaving me out in the middle of nowhere .... actually spent a lot of quality time together and then because i am once more feeling safe i suggested to Him i go out tomorrow night so Him and anna can have time together.

i am not against the relationship i just still need to feel loved and secure.... He is ok that i am mad at Him and says He would be too.

angel
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 11-25-2010, 08:26 AM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,086
Default

EXCELLENT!!
I'm so glad to hear that you were able to sit down and talk.

One of the hardest things for a slave or sub to keep in mind-is that Master/Dom isn't perfect either. They are Dominant, they are in charge, but they are, just as you are, human and that makes them imperfect.

Thus-We (Master/Dom) make mistakes.

Because of the dynamic of a M/s or D/s relationship, those mistakes can be even more hurtful for you (slave/sub).

That makes it even MORE important that We monitor ourselves carefully, always.
It also makes it even MORE important that you are patient and forgiving of our trespasses.

FYI-as I said in PM;
many poly people are not involved in 24/7 dynamics-and therefore their advice isn't based on the premise of the rules that one accepts when they are in a 24/7 dynamic.
That does not mean that they don't have good advice-but it does mean that you need to filter it through your own priorities and needs.

Hugs to you Angel-
ALL PEOPLE need to feel loved and secure.
Slaves need that reassurance even more so-because they have given up control to their Master, trust of the Master to care for them, nurture them and protect them is CRITICAL for their well-being.

It's GOOD that you talk about anything that threatens that trust between the two (or three) of you.
It's GOOD that he listens as well.
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:37 PM.