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  #11  
Old 03-20-2013, 10:49 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
Hmm.. except "heteronormative" just means you fit succinctly in the heterosexual box. It doesn't imply that you have anything against homosexuality. So by analogy, mononormative just means you're naturally inclined towards monogamy, not that you necessarily have anything against polyamory.
That's not how I've seen the word used. Heteronormative doesn't mean heterosexual. It means considering heterosexuality the norm to such an extent as to make no room for non-heterosexuality. It can mean assuming that everyone is straight, for instance, and ask females about their boyfriends and males about their girlfriends without considering that they might have someone of the same gender in their life. It can also mean, going further, saying that because heterosexuality is the norm, then anything else is abnormal and wrong.

Any time I've seen the word heteronormative being used, it's been clearly used to show that people were either active bigots, or simply blind to alternatives (straight privilege would be a synonym of the latter).
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Old 03-20-2013, 03:22 PM
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Malfunktions Malfunktions is offline
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Plenty of heterosexuals find themselves in a poly situation such as a Vee.

Are the haters of poly going to be anti-queer? Anti-amour? Or are they just serial monogamists?

Gay wo/man, mono- obviously not anti-queer but tends to remain mono.
Straight wo/man, mono- again, tends to remain mono
But both of these demographics could be introduced to a Vee and still be mono with their hinge..

So?

I guess the question leans toward whether they were properly educated?

Maybe?
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  #13  
Old 03-20-2013, 04:43 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
That's not how I've seen the word used. Heteronormative doesn't mean heterosexual. It means considering heterosexuality the norm to such an extent as to make no room for non-heterosexuality. It can mean assuming that everyone is straight, for instance, and ask females about their boyfriends and males about their girlfriends without considering that they might have someone of the same gender in their life. It can also mean, going further, saying that because heterosexuality is the norm, then anything else is abnormal and wrong.

Any time I've seen the word heteronormative being used, it's been clearly used to show that people were either active bigots, or simply blind to alternatives (straight privilege would be a synonym of the latter).
I see what you're saying. Now that you mention it, I do usually see the assumption of heterosexuality included, not just the particular fact of it in a given individual.

But I still think there's a difference between assuming heterosexuality to be the norm, and actually being bigoted against homosexuality.

It is the norm. "Norm" just means "that which most people are."

Without going into "why" people are homo/hetero/poly/mono, it's a matter of fact that most people on the planet identify as heterosexual and monogamous. That makes it the norm. There's nothing wrong with minorities, and pointing out that someone is a minority in no way poses judgement or discrimination on that basis.

But, doing a bit of a search on Google, I see that the discrimination you speak of is usually implied by the term "heteronormative" so I guess this is one of those cases where I just don't agree with the generally accepted view. Not the first time, won't be the last. It's fun being different!
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Old 03-20-2013, 06:16 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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I think the word isn't meant to only say the person sees it as the norm, but that they see the norm as sacrosanct or the rest as invisible.

But I do like amorism/amorist better. My only problem with that is that I see poly people referred to as polyamorists, and if amorist becomes the relationship orientation equivalent of sexist, racist, sexualist and so on, then "polyamorist" will sound like it's someone who is bigoted against polyamory rather than someone who is poly.
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Old 03-20-2013, 07:34 PM
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Originally Posted by DemeterBlessings View Post
What do you call people who dislike, hate, or are afraid of the polyamorous?
I think my suggestion of anti-polyamory (which of course could also adjust to "anti-poly" and "anti-polyamorous") was brilliant and simple, if I do say so myself (and I do) but no one acknowledged it.
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  #16  
Old 03-20-2013, 10:10 PM
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I think my suggestion of anti-polyamory (which of course could also adjust to "anti-poly" and "anti-polyamorous") was brilliant and simple, if I do say so myself (and I do) but no one acknowledged it.
I agree.

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  #17  
Old 03-25-2013, 05:53 AM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
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these days, it hopefully adds clarity so that knowledge can be more easily shared, or with well established roots, the form of the new word carries a more specific meaning that will prevent confusion and misunderstanding. Poly in terms of amory which includes more than one relationship with an aspect of sex

Hopefully any new words added to a lexicon will avoid the pitfalls the still plague societies in these days in this age, one of which is failure to know the difference between what is right and wrong. I don't believe the entire world is too stupid to be able to distinguish between right and wrong, more than likely they are afraid to speak up and out in favor of what they KNOW to be right, and are willing to allow wrong because they are worried about the consequences of opposing a seemingly more dominant (or at least more vocal) wrong belief.

I know I am long winded, but I bring this up because there is a world of difference between someone who does not agree with polyamory and a person whose behavior afflicts another persons life with situations which are not desired and fail to meet the minimum requirements of respect.

The remaining people of societies will be those who understand that it is not inherently wrong to feel anyway about situations you are fully knowledgeable of. It cannot be considered wrong to to disagree with behavior that is considered polyamorous. These benign but anti-poly people are not wrong but rather incredibly stupid and or ignorant shameless pigheaded imbeciles. My offensive adjectives are meant for people who probably love many people, but they are confusing love with sex.

I personally believe that poly-people should not feel intimidated of coerced into giving up on the inclusion of morality as part of their definition. Practicing polyamory, to be specific, I am speaking of polyamory as more specific term for non-monogamy where polyamory is considered a completely honest form of non-monogamy to all parties involved, so not only can polyamory be considered an ethically right way to interact with others, it can also be said to be morally right behavior

I'll stop now because I can understand why people may deem my comment as highjacking a thread, though I believe it is pertinent, it is worth it to me to fall in line so that I do not suffer the consequences of stupid hypocrites, so like I was saying, there is a world of difference between being a bigot in regards to polyamory, and not agreeing with polyamory

so you may need many a couple more words to describe polydischordant beliefs and feelings regarding the subject if you want to avoid confusing closeted poly folk whose views are very anti-asshole yet poly friendly because I have been assumed to be anti-poly more than one occasion, mostly because of not being socially polyamorous.

my point is, that there is a difference between people who do harm to those that they believe to be poly, and those would never practice it or condone it in their relationships for whatever reason. The former would go as far as to afflict the harm by attempting to have said harm written into LAW. This harm can be considered as parallel to the harm gays are currently fighting which would be the future case of fighting those trying to prohibit polyamorous people legal benefits afforded to monogamous people, the latter are just other people.

The former are bigots the latter are just people. The former engage in harmful acts against innocent people and the later are just people.

the former are wrong plain and simple and the latter are no different then people who do not do not engage in friendships with people who don't like licorice

bigots are assholes however people who chose to live different are just people, they may be silly, strange, and even dumber than a door nail but that doesn't necessarily make them a bigoted asshole or a thief, or a lying sack of shit, which from my experience goes hand in hand with bigotry, although I am smart enough to know that being a bigot doesn't automatically make someone a thief nor does it mean the break into and enter homes

bigots just in general, not polybigoted people

Last edited by Dirtclustit; 03-25-2013 at 06:15 AM. Reason: clarity
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