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  #11  
Old 06-25-2009, 03:25 PM
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MysticBeth MysticBeth is offline
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Nice nickname LOL

HOH being "head of house" (the man in charge)
DD being "domestic discipline" (spanking or other things)

I don't know if I should have wrote this but it's who I am.
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  #12  
Old 06-25-2009, 03:33 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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I grew up in that environment and although I didn't practice either in my 16 year marriage or in raising a child who is now 16 I don't judge. Hopefully others won't either as parenting approaches are not the focus of this forum unless it is related to poly interactions and the health of children. I wouldn't worry.
Thanks for trusting in me and all of us..we won't let you down
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  #13  
Old 06-25-2009, 03:43 PM
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MysticBeth MysticBeth is offline
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I wasn't talking about spanking a child. I meant a HOH disciplining his partner/wife. I know there are a lot of people who think it is abuse of some form but it's so much more then that. It's hard to explain to others, like poly is to some. I was married for 11 years to a man who wanted a mom and I was the HOH and very much turn inside. I'm happily divorced now for 12 years now.

The DD and HOH thing is one reason why I tend to keep quiet and lurk, I was open to my family about my beliefs and now outcasted..LOL but that's life I guess..

I'm interested in the poly I guess due to the love that they have to share and wanting to be part of a family..does that make sense to you?
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  #14  
Old 06-25-2009, 04:07 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Oh I get it now. I used to wonder about a lot of things in relationships. As an example I have a freind who is heavily into BDSM. He is a Master and has a very committed submissive. He is very intense and at first it disturbed me until I realized she wanted this and was healthy in it. We are very comfortable friends now because I accept they are both happy in this. If you, as an adult are healthy in it, I am fine with that.

Thanks for clarifying
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  #15  
Old 06-25-2009, 04:27 PM
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MysticBeth MysticBeth is offline
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I know a lot of online Master/slaves. I am not that, I'm a submissive into DD. I've seen how far they can go, I on the other hand am a chicken. And very shy, I don't do well in public. (I lost my train of thought for a sec) Anyway, how long have you been with your poly partner?

Mystic
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  #16  
Old 06-25-2009, 04:52 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Since early January. It moved into very deep water very fast. Everything came together for us. Our connection was staggering, my trust in her was immediate and I opened up to her on our very first meeting..we were doomed from the start
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  #17  
Old 06-25-2009, 05:07 PM
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MysticBeth MysticBeth is offline
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I know the feeling and it's great when it happens! Thank you so much for sharing what you have today. It's been really nice talking to you and I hope we have the chance to do it again.

Mystic
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  #18  
Old 06-25-2009, 05:10 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Take care
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  #19  
Old 06-26-2009, 02:32 AM
Quath Quath is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MysticBeth View Post
Quath, Thanks for the reply. No, I'm not into Paganism, I know nothing about it. Are you into it?
No. I am an atheist. i thought maybe your screen name was a hint at some mystical belief.

Quote:
The DD and HOH thing is one reason why I tend to keep quiet and lurk, I was open to my family about my beliefs and now outcasted..LOL but that's life I guess..
I find that in poly circles that people tend to value ideas about honesty and seeking personal happiness. if this makes you happy and you have found it then more power for you.
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  #20  
Old 06-26-2009, 04:13 AM
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LethalTender LethalTender is offline
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Default My Two Cents

First of all I would caution you to take only what I have to say with a grain of salt. As I myself am realtively new in the exploration of Polyamorism, my insights are still nacent and developing.

You are curious about WHAT it is to be polyamory? I am not sure if it is a matter of mind set, view point or a genetic disposition. However, I would say that it is a point of being able to love more than one person comfortably, openly and unreservedly. The nature and depth of that love can be different from partner to partner, but then again... are not all relationships unique?

I could never begrudge a person that was stead fastly monogamus. And in some ways I would hvae to say that I would envy that person. The difficulties of choosing? accepting? giving in to? (is there really a choice?) the polyamory lifestyle can be numerous. And It is not something for the faint of heart. And yet again, does it diminish it to call it a "lifestyle"? I think so.

I would guess it comes down to the ability of a person to SHARE their heart. openly and honestly. To be willing to see and appreciate and LOVE more than one person for the uniquness of their gifts and the flavor of the affection that can be shared. It is not in everyone to be able to SEE that loving more than one person at a time is possible. And yet it is not everyone that can devote themselves completely to just one other.

To be poly in my mind is to be EAGER for the chance to open ones heart and mind to others while yet being involved in a loving relationship allready. To some how have this, urge to reach out and WANT to love others without reservation while cherishing the love that is allready present.

Well, that is my two cents. I wish you well on your quest. And I hope that in time you will discover the answers you need to help you move on in your life for the pursuit of that which will satisfy and sustain you the most.
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