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  #11  
Old 03-03-2013, 05:27 PM
triolove triolove is offline
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We all want to be even.
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  #12  
Old 03-03-2013, 05:38 PM
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Natja Natja is offline
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Originally Posted by triolove View Post
We all want to be even.
I don't know how that is compatible with you saying 'I am the wife' and earlier saying 'I had him first' then?

It is true that there is not one relationship but three and you all have to respect the validity of each of those relationships. So, did you actually sit down and discuss this before you jumped into this situation? It is very hard to start once emotions start to get engaged and now she may be entrenched into the idea of everything needing to be done together, which is simply not sustainable.
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  #13  
Old 03-03-2013, 05:59 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Originally Posted by triolove View Post
We all want to be even.
I have an idea. Get yourself some closed-circuit video cameras (they are pretty inexpensive nowadays) and set one up in each room so you can keep track of what they're doing while you're at work. Then you'll have a clearer idea of what you need to do to keep up with her in terms of getting your half of the time alone with him. You will also need to do things with her so that neither of them is getting more than their fair share of time with you.

Then, and only then, can things be truly even and fair to everyone. Otherwise, just forget the whole thing.
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  #14  
Old 03-03-2013, 10:42 PM
triolove triolove is offline
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We are all one. No one is diff then the other. Well we should be.
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  #15  
Old 03-03-2013, 11:16 PM
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Natja Natja is offline
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Originally Posted by triolove View Post
We are all one. No one is diff then the other. Well we should be.

It would really be helpful if you would address the situation rather than just talking of your ideals, your ideals don't really seem to be all that effective in this situation. It is not just about saying 'what you would like' but you need to have an effective plan in place for working through your issues and learning to communicate better with each other.
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  #16  
Old 03-04-2013, 12:26 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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If you have a partner, does that mean you never need a day to yourself?
If you have two best friends, does that mean you never need to hang with just one of them?
If you have a child, does that mean you never need a day when you can drop them with a sitter and just chill with your co-parent?
If you have two partners, does that mean you never need time with just one of them?

"As for getting alone time with him, she said if that needed then what is the point of her being here."

That is nonsensical. See my comparisons above.

"I told her me and him need to be strong for our trio to work."

You are correct.

"I have told them I don't want a date or a whole day without her. I would be happy with a 30 min drive. But she gets upset cause he don't ask her to run to the store with him."

That is extremely unrealistic and unhealthy on her part. A date should be a reasonable request.

"I have lay in down of that I need from all this. He dose want to get alone time with me but if she going to freak out then he don't want to upset her."

That's not cool of him. Why do her needs take precedence over yours and his? She needs to learn not to "freak out" if something upsets her.

"So I think I need to be less bitchy and bossy of things."

I disagree. You're entirely in the right here. I would go INSANE if one of my partners insisted that they had to be by my side at all times. I need me-time, alone with myself, because if I'm not centered and happy with myself, I can't be happy with my partner. Similarly, each couple within your triad needs time to itself -- you with him, her with him, you and she with each other. What's so upsetting about that that it causes her to freak out?
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The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.
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  #17  
Old 03-04-2013, 02:48 AM
triolove triolove is offline
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thank you so much annable
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  #18  
Old 03-05-2013, 03:26 AM
triolove triolove is offline
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Thank you all for your help.. Today has been one of my better days. I got to get time with hime lastnight. We talk about how i was feeling. He Listen to me :-) he said he will have my back on making this work.. He even talk to her about cleaning the house :-). All this just made my day.
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