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  #281  
Old 07-11-2014, 07:46 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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I am so sorry you are going through this.

He hasn't been meeting your needs. You have brought it to his attention a few times. No lasting changes are happening.

You are losing respect/love/caring for him as a result.

I know that's hard to come to terms with when what you want is to be able to respect/love/care for him. Unfortunately, what you want to do and what you are able to do at this time are in conflict.

Hang in there.
Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 07-11-2014 at 11:00 PM.
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  #282  
Old 07-11-2014, 10:39 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Thank you, Jenny and GG.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #283  
Old 07-12-2014, 06:48 AM
MightyMax MightyMax is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
TBH, that sounds like a playful, spontaneous way to meet and get to know someone. I could see myself doing that - it sounds like they had fun. If I'd told you I went to an event like that and did the same thing with a man I'd met there, I have a sneaking suspicion you would have given me some kind of "atta girl" cheering on. But I realize this is Ginger we're talking about, so she was all up in his business, invading his personal space. She must be evil, lending him her scrunchie.



Mags, you know I regard you as a friend and we've shared a lot, so I hope you won't hate me for saying this, but I think you are losing your mind a little over this. Is a "mile" with Ginger truly yours to give? Have you now put yourself in the position of approving his calendar? Does his wife even do that? Does everyone agreeing to give you a heads-up a few days in advance acctually mean Ginger is no longer free to be spontaneous and that he is not allowed to spend his time as he wants?

Your metamours don't have to be your enemies just because you were there before they were. I truly hope this situation stops being so intensely uncomfortable for you. I've been thinking about you quite a lot.
I don't know the Op at all but I read most of this blog after I commented on another thread. There are times in a relationship where I have a very simple issue but pride and ego prevents me from seeing the problem for what it is. Instead of just admitting that I am jealous or I am insecure, I dress the problem up in a way that usually involves putting the blame onto others. I suspect this is the case here. I did mention it in the other thread but the tone of the reply was as if Magdlyn was going to ripy throat out if I dared say more, so I didn't. Unfortunately, I don't see this situation improving until everyone involves admits where they aren't being entirely fair.
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  #284  
Old 07-12-2014, 08:04 AM
InfinitePossibility InfinitePossibility is offline
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I'm sorry that you struggle, Mags. Things between all of you sound tense and difficult.

I'm sure that Ginger's ongoing health problems can't be helping. He sounds like he is normally wonderfully healthy, sexual and happy. Perhaps finding himself feeling a little more old and unwell is driving him to seek out new experiences and contacts with little thought to consequences or the feelings of those already in his life?

Wishing you a smoother, easier life in the near future.

IP
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  #285  
Old 07-12-2014, 09:40 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InfinitePossibility View Post
I'm sorry that you struggle, Mags. Things between all of you sound tense and difficult.

I'm sure that Ginger's ongoing health problems can't be helping. He sounds like he is normally wonderfully healthy, sexual and happy. Perhaps finding himself feeling a little more old and unwell is driving him to seek out new experiences and contacts with little thought to consequences or the feelings of those already in his life?

Wishing you a smoother, easier life in the near future.

IP
Thanks, IP. Who knows the reason? He is not the man I thought he was the first year. Must've been that old devil NRE making him so attentive. Kind of feels like a bait and switch.

Now he is booked, overbooked up the hoohah. He saw his other lovers this week Wednesday midday for several hours. Saw me for 3 hrs Thursday evening, he was in a lot of pain and couldn't have sex. We tried, he frustrated me. Saw the others on Friday (last night) evening til 1AM. Tonight he is going to drumming and tada! his others will be there too.

He is booked to come here to me tonight for an overnight after drumming. But he messaged an hour ago to say his wife needs their (presently only working) car at 10am tomorrow, and she hadn't put it on their calendar. And just then a friend was coming to his place to do work with him getting ready for the drum and possible sweat lodge he is going to host sometime soon. So he may well get to tonight's drumming late, since he is doing the set-up for his own event right now. So for all I know he will not get here til midnight tonight, and he has to leave at 9:30 am tomorrow. And we will sleep for 6 hours at least so... 3 1/2 hours for our "date."

C&D have already booked him Mon and Wed of next week. Miss Pixi and I are going on vacation next week with with my son. We are leaving Tuesday. My son is getting here Monday and we will be packing our gear all day. So this was my last chance to see Ginger.

And so it goes... I am getting squeezed out.

To make me even more pitiful, miss pixi is with her bf tonight in Boston. I was supposed to work today 4-8, which would've been fun and distracting, but the mom cancelled because one of the kids is sick. So I have no other plans.

So glad I am getting out of Dodge next week. Ginger might be able to come by and water my plants 2-3 times while I am gone, at least. I've got some tomatoes going.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37

Last edited by Magdlyn; 07-12-2014 at 09:44 PM.
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  #286  
Old 07-13-2014, 12:29 PM
bella123456 bella123456 is offline
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Saw his other lovers for several hours. Saw me for a few hours but was in too much pain so couldn't have sex.

Are you serious ?
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  #287  
Old 07-13-2014, 12:37 PM
bella123456 bella123456 is offline
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I mean... If your lover, or the person you love... If they are in pain, physical or emotional ?
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  #288  
Old 07-13-2014, 02:29 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Sorry, I am not getting your point. Somehow he is managing some kind of 3way sex with the others several times a week. Despite last Sunday and Thursday being in too much pain to have sex with me, he managed 3way "sex" with them on Wed and Friday.

All this is now moot. I broke up with him last night, and I am so relieved.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #289  
Old 07-13-2014, 06:35 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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I am sorry, Mags. I was hoping it would not end like that, but you have been hurting for awhile. That is no way to live. I do hope you find peace and happiness. Sending hugs your way.
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  #290  
Old 07-13-2014, 07:06 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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I am sorry Mags...

*Hugs*
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40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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