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Old 07-04-2013, 09:10 PM
moonlitwish moonlitwish is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 13

Originally Posted by Fayerweather View Post
I think I'm on board with Tonberry. I don't like to feel left out or neglected. I like to be invited to get togethers, I like to be asked out on dates or told that I am important to my lovers.

Communication is also extremely important. When I don't text or talk to my partner's girlfriend for a while, I can start getting insecure, imagining that she's mad at me or is excluding me. My boyfriend at times has trouble telling me things he thinks I don't want to hear based on issues we had when we first opened our relationship, so sometimes he'll withhold information about a date or something he'd like to do with someone else out of fear of hurting me, which understandably hurts me way more than hearing it right up front

So yeah, being left out, feeling communication blocks or having information withheld from me or delayed in the telling can cause major insecurity issues with me.
This pretty much sums it up for me as well. But like JaneQ I need my alone time. If I feel secure I welcome those nights out where I get to curl up on the couch with the dogs in the quiet-right up until B stays out 2 hours past when she said she would be home. Then I simply feel disrepected and unimportant. We're working on this.

C-that's me! 29f married to
J-my prodigal lover 31m

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Old 07-06-2013, 12:46 AM
Flowerchild Flowerchild is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 145
Default No need for conflict

Honestly, my partner has a spouse that I'm.not.involved with. But we're still friends. As far as other women, he's not interested in anyone who doesn't want to date both of us. I'm sure I'll get to point where he goes out without me, but I'm sure I'll go out with our girlfriend without.him at times. Even if he dated a woman separately, he'd never date a woman I couldn't be friends with. He'd actually prefer us to be dating....less pressure on.him to be there for her all the time.

I guess what I'm saying is, there's ways to do it where no.one is ever really left out.
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Old 08-25-2013, 06:56 PM
Vexxed Vexxed is offline
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 84

I have several areas where in I can begin to feel insecure.

Not being included is one. I also don't feel like she's texting me, while spending the day with him, as much as she'd text her new partner if she were spending the day with me.

Being replaced as the date for special events like poly camps or Burning Man events.

Feeling that I'm not enough:

-Sexually (oral skills, foreplay massage, flirty buildup, setting the stage, bdsm scene ideas)

-Fun (talking, laughing, joking, dancing, music tastes, date ideas)

-Life goals/career (but this much less often, much less).

-Clothing style (tiny wee bit)

I'm one of 3 boyfriends now (plus hubby). It took me about 2 years to start feeling more secure when I first started dating her. I was 1 of 2 boyfriends (plus hubby) for 3.5 years.

I got counselling and took a self esteem class. I may need to do that again.

I'm confident about (in this relationship):

My level of fitness/figure.
My accent.
That I'm a horseman.
That I can build things.
That I like to read.
Fingering (it's not foreplay but the Grand Finale, quite often).

**You may be surprised to learn that she and I led a class on jealousy and insecurity this spring at a poly gathering.

Last edited by Vexxed; 08-25-2013 at 07:05 PM.
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