Letting go of my white picket fence

[pancake]

Originally Posted by ray

Sometimes I worry that because I'm dating O and thus also involved (albeit not physically) with A (and they're married) that I won't be paying attention and will miss my dream man and dream wedding and dream life. I'm pretty focused on them so I don't tend to be very interested in other relationships right now. But I think it's working right now because I'm pretty young and I've got a little time before the eyebrows start raising and people wonder why I'm not married and/or dating guys I could marry.

Sounds similar to my situation...but B (especially) and H want to make it a forever thing and also a closed thing...so there'd be no other boy toys for me...
You are young (I stalked you for a second ) so I agree...no worries for a good while! I've got a few years on ya but my traveling and job give me an excuse to not to "settle down".

[ray]

Ah, I see. Sometimes I wonder if the three of us would ever do that. I think he would maybe want to but I'm not sure if she would. I am allowed to date others but have yet to take them up on it. I think my parents occasionally wonder if I'm a lesbian. I have yet to bring home a boyfriend of any kind. Little do they know, I do like women, i think. haha. Still working on that one.

[pancake]

B is very all or nothing in everything he does, so the forever thing is really his idea; although H is happy to go along with it. She's also entertained my freaking out and let me go through it when he wanted to fight me. It's complicated, we'll see if it actually works that way. Freedom is nice to have though! I'm still deciding if I think I'm actually bi or pansexual or mono going through a phase (although I'm pretty sure that last one is not the case). Who said we had to decide anyways?

[ray]

I guess categories are somewhat arbitrary anyhow. I think I'll know if I fall in love with a woman. Just hasn't happened yet. Freedom is good. I like that about my relationship. But commitment can be more secure. At least in my mind. Maybe because I'm insecure.

[redpepper]

You don't have to decide for life anyways. These things are fluid it seems. I have identified as many different things over my life. I suspect that I will not stay where I am now either. Just going with the moment seems like the best option to me.