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  #61  
Old 02-12-2013, 07:40 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
Please stop calling her a cis-puss. That is really vile and rude. Yeah, I know it's from the "cat" in her name, but...please stop.

She's not the only one who is annoyed by your communication style and your deliberate misuse of terms. She's just the only one who has bothered to continue responding to you.
Thanks, Meera, I was here to say similar.

I find the use of 'cis-puss' highly offensive. And I haven't even really participated in this conversation.
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  #62  
Old 02-12-2013, 07:45 AM
ManofDiscovery ManofDiscovery is offline
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Originally Posted by NovemberRain View Post
Thanks, Meera, I was here to say similar.

I find the use of 'cis-puss' highly offensive. And I haven't even really participated in this conversation.
What's so offensive about it?
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  #63  
Old 02-12-2013, 01:12 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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It is dismissive of SC. It takes a term that many people have struggled to bring into wider use - cis to mean conventionally gender presenting from birth - and mocks that struggle. If you can't use a term that people have informed you is the correct one without mockery, then don't use it. It mocks women (trans women included) by using a diminutive for vagina. Reducing anyone to their genitals when addressing them makes them less than people. It indicates your inability to take SC's words seriously as you default to mocking her body and vagina.

Stop using it immediately. And don't switch to something else as belittling. I suggest using her screen name if you wish to respond to something she or anyone else wrote.

And here's another reason. I have little interest in interacting with you. The use if that term is one reason.

The main reason is that your questions were answered 1) no one owes anybody full disclosure of anything on a first date and 2) it is often extremely unsafe for transwomen to disclose their history. Telling the wrong person can cost transwomen their lives. Transwomen have been murdered in my city for being open about their lives. No one is going to kill you for telling them you have a dick. But that is the reality transwomen have to cope with every day. The answers you got are the lived experience of trans women and the people who love them, work with them, are friends with them.

You are a privileged person. As am I, as a conventionally gendered person. The demand that someone tell someone else they just met - who may or may not be safe (as in won't fly into a rage and beat them maybe to death - not merely call them names and leave) - is an exercise in privilege. Your demand to know something about someone else that 1) they don't owe you on first acquaintance and 2) is possibly very dangerous for them to disclose right away is full of unexamined privilege as a cis man.

You have a chance here to learn some things you don't know anything about. Take advantage of it.
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  #64  
Old 02-12-2013, 01:34 PM
ManofDiscovery ManofDiscovery is offline
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Mocking genitals? What are you talking about?

You're right in that I am dismissive of SC, mainly because she can't expressive herself without bring overly aggressive and resorting to personal attacks. Looking through the forum, the is not just towards me, it's towards anyone who offers an opposing opinion.

Calling me ignorant and narrow minded because I don't agree does nothing to strengthen the point against me. Firing a ton of aggressive abuse in my direction, then acting surprised that I don't appreciate being spoken to in this way..that I should be grateful that you want to 'educate me' (because abuse is obviously the best way to educate a person)...yeah it's fair to say I'm dismissive of that kind of behaviour.

Your point on murder is nonsensical...so she tells a guy she is a cis-woman and he finds out on the date she is a trans-woman. Surely this puts her in more danger if anything?

But the main issue is irrelevant to trans. It's simply that if a person says they are one thing and they are something else, then they are being misleading. They don't receive a get out of jail free card just because of their struggles.

It seems the only way to make a point here is attack, attack, attack. The established members try to bully dissenters into submission and the moderators back them up. It seems to be 'either agree with everything we say, or fuck off'.
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  #65  
Old 02-12-2013, 02:16 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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You honestly can't see what about cis-puss is mocking genitals? (Calm down Cattiva).

Let's see, a slang way of talking about the vagina is the word pussy. Puss is a shortened aspect of pussy.

Particularly since you seem focused on a "woman" being someone with a vagina the fact that you are using the term cis-puss makes it seem like you are being demeaning and degrading to woman thinking of them only of their sexual organs.

To this thread in general. No I don't think that early in dating/getting to know someone you should have to declare if you are a trans-person or not. In fact I don't think this is really something that 100% needs to be declared unless you are a pre-op person who is getting close to a sexual relationship with someone. Because if violence is going to come from a person because of a trans* status it is at a much higher rate if something sexual is about to happen and the person is met with genitals other than what they expect (especially if the person you are dealing with is not only possibly a transphobe but also a homophobe who sees anything they would have done with someone pre-op as homosexual on their part).
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  #66  
Old 02-12-2013, 02:51 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Yeah I thought my post would be pointless. Hoped otherwise. Ah well.
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  #67  
Old 02-12-2013, 03:19 PM
ManofDiscovery ManofDiscovery is offline
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Cis-puss was because she calls herself cat. Cat = puss. The term pussy didn't even enter my head. If I'd meant it like that, why not just say cis-pussy?

You people.
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  #68  
Old 02-12-2013, 03:36 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ManofDiscovery View Post
so she tells a guy she is a cis-woman and he finds out on the date she is a trans-woman.
No. She tells a guy she's a woman. The guy wrongly assumed she means cis-woman. She tells him she's trans and he's upset.

A comparison would be if she told a man she's a woman, and then when he sees her he got upset, saying "but you're a black woman! You told me you were a woman!" just because he assumed "normal" women are white (if he lived in a place where most people are white).

The main difference is that because it's visible, he would know right away he was wrong in having such expectations. But this is the same kind of problem with assuming. Someone tells you she's a woman, she means just that. If she specifically tells you she's a cis woman when she's trans, then yes, she is misleading you. Otherwise, your expectations don't incur an obligation on her part.
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  #69  
Old 02-12-2013, 03:52 PM
ManofDiscovery ManofDiscovery is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
No. She tells a guy she's a woman. The guy wrongly assumed she means cis-woman. She tells him she's trans and he's upset.

A comparison would be if she told a man she's a woman, and then when he sees her he got upset, saying "but you're a black woman! You told me you were a woman!" just because he assumed "normal" women are white (if he lived in a place where most people are white).

The main difference is that because it's visible, he would know right away he was wrong in having such expectations. But this is the same kind of problem with assuming. Someone tells you she's a woman, she means just that. If she specifically tells you she's a cis woman when she's trans, then yes, she is misleading you. Otherwise, your expectations don't incur an obligation on her part.
It may be a comparison, but not a credible one.

If 99.9% of women are cis-women, then it's not unreasonable to assume if a profile says 'woman' are you are meeting a cis-woman.

I am a guy. If I suddenly decide tomorrow I am a woman, and state so on my dating profile, it doesn't mean the rest of the world will agree with me. It doesn't mean that men will see me as being a woman, just because I've defined myself as such.

I would expect to turn up to a date with a guy and for him to say 'what the hell? You're a dude?' And I respond 'no, I'm a woman. Don't be so transphobic, homophobic and narrow minded.'
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  #70  
Old 02-12-2013, 04:51 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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People, stop feeding the troll. Unless you are enjoying it; then by all means continue.
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