I am new to the forum, and fairly new to the idea of a polyamorous/open relationship, and am looking to get some insight or advice on what I can do to help make my relationship with my partner function far better than it has been.
We were together for almost 2 years in a monogamous relationship before breaking up so that he could sort things out in his life. After a year of separation, we got back together into a polyamorous relationship (he had another girlfriend at the time). I had a lot of problems with him having another girlfriend, but I wanted to stick with it because I love him and want to be with him. Eventually, things didn't work out with his other girlfriend and they did end the relationship. He and I are still together, and have agreed to compromise down to an open relationship, which we have agreed means sex with other people is okay, but the only relationship is between he and I.
I am having a lot of trouble trying to reconcile what I understand rationally (he loves me, he's emotionally committed to me and doesn't want to have a relationship with any of the other girls he might be involved with) with my emotional responses to his other sexual connections. He tells me that this may just be a phase he's going through in his life and he wants to be able to explore other sexual situations with other people. He says he's at a time in his life where he wants to have the commitment of a relationship to me and be able to explore other sexual avenues with other people at the same time. I am also allowed to become involved with other people, should I choose to. In the interest of not being miserable every time he sleeps with someone else, and not fighting with him anymore, is there anything anyone can recommend that I might be able to try in order to approach this more rationally and deal with my jealousy?
We were together for almost 2 years in a monogamous relationship before breaking up so that he could sort things out in his life. After a year of separation, we got back together into a polyamorous relationship (he had another girlfriend at the time). I had a lot of problems with him having another girlfriend, but I wanted to stick with it because I love him and want to be with him. Eventually, things didn't work out with his other girlfriend and they did end the relationship. He and I are still together, and have agreed to compromise down to an open relationship, which we have agreed means sex with other people is okay, but the only relationship is between he and I.
I am having a lot of trouble trying to reconcile what I understand rationally (he loves me, he's emotionally committed to me and doesn't want to have a relationship with any of the other girls he might be involved with) with my emotional responses to his other sexual connections. He tells me that this may just be a phase he's going through in his life and he wants to be able to explore other sexual situations with other people. He says he's at a time in his life where he wants to have the commitment of a relationship to me and be able to explore other sexual avenues with other people at the same time. I am also allowed to become involved with other people, should I choose to. In the interest of not being miserable every time he sleeps with someone else, and not fighting with him anymore, is there anything anyone can recommend that I might be able to try in order to approach this more rationally and deal with my jealousy?