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Old 10-11-2010, 01:15 AM
new2poly new2poly is offline
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 15

Originally Posted by Livingmybestlife View Post
Yes I am more jealous over him then my husband. However, I fall more deeply for him daily. We also discussed the situations so I am good with what happens. I would stay with him forever at this point. He is wired mono.
So I have made a choice to love him and be with him as long as I can.
This is the way I feel about my primary. I have made the choice to be with him even though he is sexually wired to be gay and we are abstinent, because I love him that much. I do find that while I am not jealous of his primary at all, a friend.. who is very much never going to be involved with them, makes me very jealous. She posted a message to my guy's FB wall tonight asking them out for her birthday (she previous asked me and I'm going, so I don't know wtf I am so twisted about) and I was like, "WHAT??? HOW DARE SHE!". Every impulse in my body was screaming, "Mine! MINE!".

I know I need to figure this out... because it's completely irrational, but I don't even know where to begin deducing where these feelings are coming from.
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Old 10-11-2010, 02:20 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by sylphia View Post
Superjast, that's pretty much what I feel like, like I haven't had enough of my own time yet.
I am the bf in SJ's summary and it is very true. For me its a feeling that the new romance hasn't been completed or solidified yet so I don't want to interrupt it.

Maybe this is a touch of monogamy or maybe just something fundamental, but, as an example, I have a strong foundation with Pengrah my wife, I am comfortable with her and happy. No jealousy. However I feel like I am at the beginning of this journey with my new love SJ. The time I need to put into that, to build its foundation.

I am a big believer in making your roots strong. Bringing in new people before all of the roots are strong can create insecurity and jealousy. I kind of look at poly as jenga. You can't keep building up if the bottom isn't holding up to the pressure...ok that was cheesy but I think my meaning is there hahaha..

All that said, I would never stop her from reaching out to someone new, and I don't believe she would with me. We just have a similar belief when building relationships.

Time is our friend, as long as we don't fight to much against it


Last edited by Ariakas; 10-11-2010 at 02:28 AM.
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