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#2
01-20-2013, 11:26 PM
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What's up Javabean? Have you got a question you would like to ask about the woman you are dating? If you post it here, we can all try to help you.
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me: female, 28 GF: my girlfriend, female, 38 Hubby: my metamour, her husband, 34 2 year, open poly V relationship, LDR 
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#4
01-21-2013, 07:16 PM
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I was broken up with that way once. We were in high school. So, I'd say that, yes, there are people, immature people, who use that as a way of breaking up. Really sorry if that's what's happening to you. I'd say, if it's really been a while -- like, a couple of weeks -- just leave the person a message saying "If you want to contact me to tell me what's up I will listen, but I'm assuming we're over and am going to start working on moving on."
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The major players. Me, under-30 bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 3+ years. Clay, new boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/"it's complicated." The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy, Clay's partner.
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#6
01-21-2013, 07:48 PM
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Can you share any details -- how long you two had been together, how long the silence has been going on?
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The major players. Me, under-30 bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 3+ years. Clay, new boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/"it's complicated." The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy, Clay's partner.
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#7
01-21-2013, 10:46 PM
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If you are confused, could just ask for the clarify. Maybe something like...
"What's going on? Been silent a while. Are we broken up? How am I supposed to read this behavior?"I know that can seem scary to do, but it's just a lot easier to be up front about things. Then you aren't left out a limb. YKWIM? GL! Galagirl
__________________
GalaGirl at this time = closed married polyship of 2 with DH. Chronic patient = fuzzy brain at times. (If I make no sense in a post, just PM me and I'll happily try to clarify it later.)
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#8
01-24-2013, 12:42 AM
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I dont even know where to begin. We have been dating for close to a year. Last week she tells me how in love she is with me and that she is so lucky. I would see her she would be cuddly and affectinate. Next thing i know she doesnt text or email me anymore. I got used to that. It stopped.
I texted her saying hi how are you. I asked her if we are ok. She says yes just going with the flow right. It feels like she is distancing herself. I love her a lot. I cherish her friendship and her. Maybe i expect too much. Its just when someone gives you so much for so long then it aruptly stops of course i am going to ask questions. Im not seeing anyone else bc we closed the relationship and i really have no desire to share myself with another right now. She doesnt care if i see anyone else. She also told me the situation is complicated and she has big decisions she needs to make. How do i get myself out of this mono mind set? Ive never been mono, but with her i want to be. I just am not attracted to anyone else. When we are together for me anyway its amazing. We laugh, cuddle and talk about all kinds of stuff. I miss that. I havent been easy to deal with. I have been insecure. I try to talk about relationship stuff but it comes out wrong and i think i push her away. I just want someone to talk too. Last edited by Javabean; 01-24-2013 at 12:47 AM.
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#9
01-24-2013, 01:47 AM
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Quote:
"What do you need from me at this time? Because I've noticed the change in behavior. Do we need to set a date for a serious talk? I'd like to know what to expect so I can prepare and clear time to talk. Are we breaking up? Do I fail to meet your wants and needs?" It's not fun to feel how you are feeling right now -- so... let's just face the fears, and move it along so it moves forward. Not endless limbo. You are not a mind reader. Galagirl
__________________
GalaGirl at this time = closed married polyship of 2 with DH. Chronic patient = fuzzy brain at times. (If I make no sense in a post, just PM me and I'll happily try to clarify it later.)
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#10
01-24-2013, 02:01 AM
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When i ask these type of questions it turns into an arguement. Its all my fault that i feel that way. Im the one with the issues not her kind of thing. That i am negative. She broke up with me once because i questioned her. Then wont talk to me and treats me like i am invisible. Then says she deserves to be treated better. That i dont support her. Which is untrue. I have been under stress and pressure lately. She gives me no comfort. Ive asked for a date night with her. Just her and i. She wont do it. I am so confused and hurt.
I asked her if i should see other people. She said if your sleeping with others i wont sleep with you anymore. I said should i get another gf. She siad thats up to you. I just dont get it Ive been tempted to say something but it will blow up. I will be the one with the issue. She will close up even more. I hate arguing with her. She always wins. Last edited by Javabean; 01-24-2013 at 02:09 AM.
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