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  #31  
Old 10-16-2010, 04:09 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Happy B Day Cricket!
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Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
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  #32  
Old 10-16-2010, 04:32 PM
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Thank you, Mohegan and Mono!


On that note, as soon as my Grandma found out Mohegan was coming tonight, she went "...Oh...That's...."
I immediately got defensive and said "That's my friend. But don't worry, we'll sit out there, by the fire, and be unoffensive."
I stalked off to shower without giving her a chance to respond, and could hear her trying to extricate her foot from her esophagus as I left.

Here's the thing: she might not have meant to be offensive, but she is a drama-monger. She's the kind of person who will hire someone who stole from her to help clean up the trailer before she moves out of it, (get my Daddy to) pay them hundreds of dollars after they've "worked off what they stole" and then give her a few hundred more dollars to look after her cats until we can move them out here, and then act shocked, shocked I tell you, when the dumb bitch steals that money, gambles it away, and leaves the cats to starve.
She turns to her neighbor, a deadbeat alcoholic dad, and asks him to take care of the trailer, and is then absolutely aghast, utterly betrayed, when the bastard tries to steal from her too.

So I'm planning on suggesting to Mohegan that she only needs to be as polite to my grandma as my grandma is to her.
Mohegan doesn't need me to defend her - she can do it herself.
Grandma doesn't get me defending her - she has it coming.

I understand that it is an odd situation, to have the wife whose husband I cheated with come to hang out for my birthday, but this is how I have chosen to lead my life, and Mohegan and Karma are family, and they are okay with how we're doing things.

Once I got out of the shower, Grandma assured me she wasn't trying to be rude, and I do believe she was really sorry for offending me. She's just not sure how to behave, so she thinks she's just going to follow my mom's lead. My mom has been operating on a kind of "don't mention it" policy.
I think that's a good plan.

Please note, my mother told Grandma about the whole situation - not me. I would have chosen to keep her in the dark, because I know she will inevitably call up all the thieves and hookers and deadbeat dads in her old trailer park to gossip, and it's just better if I don't get defensive, because I don't want to hurt her feelings.
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  #33  
Old 10-16-2010, 05:21 PM
vodkafan vodkafan is offline
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Happy Birthday Cricket! We haven't spoken before but I have been fascinated by you three since you started posting. Hope you have a good one with no unwanted fireworks.
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  #34  
Old 10-16-2010, 09:08 PM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cricket View Post
So I'm planning on suggesting to Mohegan that she only needs to be as polite to my grandma as my grandma is to her.
Mohegan doesn't need me to defend her - she can do it herself.
Grandma doesn't get me defending her - she has it coming.
Really I wasn't allowed last night, glad you changed your mind

No worries, I'll play nice.
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  #35  
Old 10-17-2010, 08:00 AM
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had a great time tonight, hope you did too. I so enjoy that we can spend time together like that. I find personal peace in being able to think of your joy. I'm so glad we're at that point. I really hope you enjoyed yourself. I am looking forward to our dinner/pumpkin carving date.
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  #36  
Old 10-18-2010, 03:23 AM
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Had an awesome weekend, up until the last half-hour or so.

I mixed up henna the other night, cuz I was gonna tattoo my hands. I put it in a cupboard, out of the way, so none of my family would disturb it.
Thinking it was chocolate, my grandmother dipped a finger in the paste and ate it.
This is somehow all my fault.

Here's a thought: if it's not yours, don't put it in your mouth.


J is struggling with horrible depression, and I have no idea how to help him. I desperately want to, but he can't see it, and I can't figure out how to show him. I can't be perfect, and I feel like I would have to be to make him happy.
He's been hiding it from me, and I knew it, and tonight I told him I wanted to help, and he pretty much blew up or broke down, I'm not sure which is more accurate.
I wish I could help him, I wish I could carry him through this, but I don't know how, and I don't think he'll let me.
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  #37  
Old 10-18-2010, 03:27 AM
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LOL that's hilarious. Really, I'm gonna go eat this unmarked container and then blame you cuz it wasn't food.

I'm sorry about the stuff with J. As much he annoys me and I have issues with his personality, I wish neither of you had to deal with what you do.
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  #38  
Old 10-18-2010, 03:28 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cricket View Post
Here's a thought: if it's not yours, don't put it in your mouth.
Well you just made me spit up my drink. In so many ways, this rule should be universal...

Quote:
J is struggling with horrible depression, and I have no idea how to help him. I desperately want to, but he can't see it, and I can't figure out how to show him. I can't be perfect, and I feel like I would have to be to make him happy.
He's been hiding it from me, and I knew it, and tonight I told him I wanted to help, and he pretty much blew up or broke down, I'm not sure which is more accurate.
I wish I could help him, I wish I could carry him through this, but I don't know how, and I don't think he'll let me.
Feeling helpless is the most brutal part of someone elses depression. The only advice I can give, you eventually have to not worry about it anymore. My mother suffered horribly for years, I in turn tortured myself for years. Once I realized, it wasn't me, I couldn't fix it, and I couldn't control it, all I could do was be there, as her son...

But I couldn't carry the guilt behind it, because in the end depression is a selfish disease. It is almost never anyone elses problem, all you can do is be there for support (which is different than taking on the guilt)
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  #39  
Old 10-18-2010, 12:02 PM
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J and I have a wee bit of a "folie a deux" problem. When one of us goes through a depressive episode, we frequently take the other with us. I'm not sure which of us started the latest one, him or I, but it seems moot.

I had a really long talk with him last night, and I hope I helped. We talked, and I got him to vent as much as I could, (though I know he was holding a fair bit back because he didn't want to hurt my feelings - other nights, I'd have pushed, but right now I'm grateful - I'm still pretty tender) and then I talked to him about therapy, and walked through a lot of the things stressing him out, and tried to help him find ways to ease them.
His problem is a lot like mine - he takes on the world, then doesn't know how to let go of those responsibilities, for fear of everyone else's world falling apart.
We talked about therapy, and he's reluctant to talk to a stranger - I can totally understand that, but I don't have the tools to help him, and he needs help, so I'm going to try to keep that option in his mind.

I do understand that this is shit he has to do for himself, but from where I'm standing, it looks like he needs a hand to hold along the way. I'm trying to provide that, but still not let myself get pulled under by the guilt.
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  #40  
Old 10-19-2010, 07:02 AM
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Please don't take my blog post as me being upset with you. You have every right to have time with Karma when you need him. I just wish it didn't happen that we both needed him at the same time.

I hope you're feeling better. I was worried when you guys didn't show up here.
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