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Old 01-15-2011, 04:30 AM
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Jodi Jodi is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 121
Default my boyfriend & wife, feel weird asking..

hi. i wasn't sure about even writing about this. but, i will. i think i feel silly,

stop "beating around the bush".

i would really like my boyfriend to come to the poly conference coming up in our area. his wife and i have been friends longer than he and i have been together intimately. but, the problem for them is that he claims that he would be too jealous for her to be with another male. she seems to accept this, but was hoping that he would change his mind. i'm a person that, well i like to think that, i take action.

sooo, i want him to come w/ me to the conference...and her too...but i'm afraid to ask. i did send her a link.

they have not openly claimed to be poly, but i consider myself, since we are all so close. it leaves me feeling like i secretly have categorized my/our lifestyle.

there's a workshop on jealousy that would inform or give him something to think about.

how do you think i should approach asking them, or should just have sent the link and then drop the subject. i don't want to be pushy...also, i'm comfortable coming out and telling people, but they aren't and can't bcz of family reasons & religious reasons...plus their children are young..mine i'm ok with explaining.

think i'm getting off topic. but, i am going to the conference bcz i know that i am comfortable with a non-monogamous relationship. my ex husband and i were also poly, again with me encouraging the situation and him resisting.

thanks for reading.
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Old 01-15-2011, 07:45 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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you don't sound silly. Perfectly valid question you have asked there... it sounds like you are already on your way to talking about it and telling them your thoughts. I think if I were you I would make a request and not invest too much in it... they very possibly will not be so keen. Meh, that's okay... just go yourself and tell them how it goes. They are both on their own journey with poly and while you can offer them ideas and ask that they join you... that is all you can do.
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