Dealing with a LACK of jealous feelings (mono-poly)

[redpepper]

Originally Posted by Fayerweather

Hi,

Just my two cents. In studying Neuro Linguistics and the chemical functions of the brain (not in any seriously scientific manner) I've learned that emotional reactions can become habbits. If you become accustumed to a new situation (your girlfriend having other partners) and accustomed to being ok with that situation, your brain will actually stop making connections to the chemical reactions that cause jealousy. It usually takes about 20-30 days for your brain to start differently connecting to different emotional/chemical neurotransmitters and slowly but surely, it won't be able to connect to those old painful pathways anymore like it used to. I've used meditation and awareness exercises to eliminate or decrease a lot of my old triggers from when I was monogamous. Sounds like you are doing it without even realizing

that's really interesting. PN, my husband, tells me about this kind of thing all the time and it's how I intend to get over my jealousy one day... when someone stays in his life long enough for me to actually have to deal with it no one has yet, it usually doesn't work out, just as I start to feel jealous...

PN talks about how the brain gets on a track and it grinds the track in until it is learned and relied upon. Sometimes the course of that track needs changing as the old one isn't useful anymore and a new one would work better. It takes time to make a new track and grind a new one down... sometimes our brains slide back into old tracks because they are learned and comfortable, yet we again realize that actually they aren't working anymore for us and we have to keep perusing the new track... I see my track of jealousy working like this. I feel the difference when I consciously try and move my track. I have come a long way moving my track, but I still have work to be done... One day maybe.