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  #221  
Old 10-02-2011, 02:47 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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tHis reminds me of a thread on the FB PFAO group about showing affection in public because it's what you'd normally do and don't care what other people think, versus putting on a show for other people's benefit.

If I were the waitress in the above scenario, I'd want tell you the location of the nearest cheap motel that rents rooms by the half-hour, but I imagine that would ruin my tip. I'm glad I'm not a server because I hear they put up with a lot of nonsense that has nothing to do with the reason why people go to a restaurant - to eat food, presumably.

Last edited by NeonKaos; 10-02-2011 at 02:52 PM.
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  #222  
Old 10-02-2011, 03:19 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
I'm glad I'm not a server because I hear they put up with a lot of nonsense that has nothing to do with the reason why people go to a restaurant - to eat food, presumably.
Well, if this place they went to is a Hooters type place, I guess messing with/flirting with the waitresses is expected. Poor girls.

but I am thinking this date didnt go well for TL for other reasons...
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  #223  
Old 10-02-2011, 05:25 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Hell, if you really want to be confusing the waitress, why don't you kiss Boogie?
It was all in good fun. We never got around to it anyway. Boogie and I routinely screwed around like that anyway.I'm not bi or gay though, so it was a bit difficult sometimes.

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Originally Posted by NeonKaos View Post
tHis reminds me of a thread on the FB PFAO group about showing affection in public because it's what you'd normally do and don't care what other people think, versus putting on a show for other people's benefit.

If I were the waitress in the above scenario, I'd want tell you the location of the nearest cheap motel that rents rooms by the half-hour, but I imagine that would ruin my tip. I'm glad I'm not a server because I hear they put up with a lot of nonsense that has nothing to do with the reason why people go to a restaurant - to eat food, presumably.
With me, it wouldn't ruin your tip, but it WOULD let me know that you were not gonna play along. So I would stop.

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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Well, if this place they went to is a Hooters type place, I guess messing with/flirting with the waitresses is expected. Poor girls.

but I am thinking this date didnt go well for TL for other reasons...
We usually end up going to Winghouse, which is similar to Hooters, but a bit classier IMO. And I NEVER messed with the waitresses TOO badly. They always play along anyway. But I'm NEVER degrading to them.....EVER.



Mags is correct. The "date" went poorly, and the relationship is not salvageable.

We have all played together in the past, and it went well before. However, last night, EVERYTHING seemed off. I should have known before we all paid for the hotel or had anyone book it.

Tabi-cat and Boogie were an hour and a half late getting out of their house. They blamed it on the sitter. No problem. Totally understandable.

As soon as they showed up, Tabi-cat had to "go pee, and turned around and left the building because we warned her about how dirty the restrooms were. They actually drove off and came back about 15 minutes later.

We go to the hotel and check in.....Tabi-cat is in my car, and Kandy is in Boogies car. Conversation is strained at best....and completely silent at worst. Tabi-cat used her mother-in-law's employee discount to get the room a bit cheaper.

We all arrive at the hotel together and go up to the room. Kandy decides to have a drink before we go out. We all pile into Boogies car, and head out to a karaoke bar. Tabi-cat LOVES to sing...and she's pretty decent at it. Not American Idol good...but decent and better than the usual drunks. LOL


While in the car, I commit a foul by putting my hand in Tabi-cat's crotch. Only a foul between Kandy and myself, Tabi-cat was ok with it.

Kandy gets upset with me and lets me know.

I become reclusive.

We all arrive to the bar where we just kinda hang out and play a few games of pool. Which, apparently, I am WAY better at when I'm pissed off. I run the table a couple times until I loosen up. Then I begin to loose to the women again.

Tabi-cat is flirting with both Boogie and me...as is Kandy. Boogie is eating it up and flirting back. I'm not really "in the mood" and still stand off. The bar patrons are all raising an eyebrow toward their antics.

Around 2am, Tabi-cat is done singing, and is now "horny and wants to get laid"..... Interesting....

By this time, Boogie has smoked a couple hits of 420.....Not MY thing, but eh...Whatever.


We return to the hotel and we all sit around talking for a few....Then....Boogie and Tabi-cat go downstairs to "smoke". This is usually code for "Boogie wants to get high".......They go downstairs....Kandy and I wait about 15 minutes and go looking for them. We find them at the pool area. We all sit around while they smoke and boogie gets high.


Then, we return to the room. There are two queen sized beds....Me and Tabi-cat take one, and Boogie and Kandy take the other. Things become sexual......Suddenly, Boogie gets up and heads to the bathroom. Kandy is visibly pissed. (Even in the dark room, I can hear her seething) Noticing how upset Kandy is, Tabi-cat and I stop, and try to figure out WTF is going on. Apparently, Boogie can't get it up.....and is complaining of heartburn. Believable......but....there is obviously more to it as he and Tabi-cat get dressed and go downstairs for him to "smoke". Kandy and I are left in the room.....

Now, keep in mind, that Boogie and Kandy have been together before, so it's nothing new to him.


Kandy and I go searching for them after like 15-20 minutes. They are poolside talking to some 23y/o guy. Kandy and I are ready to leave. We are done with the games and the obvious lack of attraction by Boogie. We tell them we need to talk to them privately. We explain to them that it's obviously not working, so we're going home. They make excuses.......We buy into them. We all head back up to the room together. We are in bed with our respective spouses. Things get sexual. Boogie is still unable to perform. Kandy and I get off, and calm down. Boogie and Tabi-cat keep playing and fighting an uphill battle. Finally, Boogie goes to the bathroom and Tabi-cat acts upset. The lights are off, so Kandy and I lay dwon and try to sleep....Boogie comes back in, and lays down next to Tabi-cat. We hear him whisper to her that they are "not going over to their house tomorrow". Okayyyy.....Well, that WAS the plan....Kandy and I just lay there. He obviously thinks we are asleep. Then, he and Tabi-cat start getting sexual...VERY quietly. Amazingly, he is able to perform now.

Kandy whispers to me "lets go". We just lay there and eventually fall asleep.



This morning, Tabi-cat wakes up before everyone else and goes downstairs for a smoke by herself. Kandy and I wake up, and go downstairs for breakfast. Breakfast is over at the hotel, so we all return to the room empty handed.

I avoid eye contact with anyone by burying my head in my phone. Tabi-cat has to go back to the front desk to get another room key, because they were only given one on check in, and none of us grabbed it when we left....and Boogie won't wake up to our knocks/pounding on the door.

We get in the room and wake up Boogie. After we all sit and watch TV for an hour or so....virtually silently....we all decide that we will go for coffee and then on to Kandy and my place.

We check out.

We get to Starbucks, and Kandy realizes that she has lost her ID sometime during the night......So she tries to call the hotel to see if they have found it or if they could look for it. They say they will look for it and to call back in 5 minutes or so. She calls back like 5 minutes later and they say they did NOT find it.

Kandy hangs up, and gets upset. She tells me that we need to go back to the hotel, because she doesn't trust them to look for it hard enough.

Now it all comes to a head.

Tabi-cat looks at her and says that Boogies mom works for the company, and Kandy better not go there and be mean and nasty to them. Kandy says she wasn't going to be, and asks when she was "mean and nasty".

I keep my head buried in my phone.

Tabi-cat tells her she's been mean and nasty several times throughout the night...even to me.

Personally, I didn't get anything I didn't deserve.....in the form of nastyness that is.

Kandy is livid and storms to the car telling Tabi-cat to FuCk-OFF. Tabi-cat say's "Fu*k you" to Kandy. Kandy tells Tabi-cat "No thanks. I wouldn't want to with you"......Tabi-cat says something else that I can't hear, and both women get in their respective husbands cars.


I get up....walk over to my car...Boogie is getting in his car. I tell him "Drive safe". He says "Yep...you too".

We both drive back to the hotel to try to search for the missing ID.

The women stay in the cars, and Boogie and I head up to the room to look for the missing ID. It is not found.

We go back down stairs. He and I shake hands. He apologizes for his lack of "performance" the previous night. I tell him "Whatever". I again tell him to drive safe.

We part ways.






Kandy and I have since blocked them from our profiles on the site we all met on.



Not really sure if this thing will ever work for us again. We had our run...we missed the train...boat...bus...whatever it was that took all the poly people....and now we are simply here. So... Fortunately, no real "emotions" were involved, and therefore, no-one is really "brokenhearted".



I'm going to the beach today. Anyone else wanna go? JUST AS FRIENDS
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  #224  
Old 10-02-2011, 05:52 PM
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BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
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Wow!! I'm sorry that things turned out that way LT. I don't know why people have to lie or fake being into the sexual stuff. We're all adults here. I'm sure if they told you they just wanted to be friends, watch the fights and hang out, you'd have been cool with it. Though I wonder if the 420 played a part in his ED and if he was blaming Kandy for his inability to get it up. Maybe he was starting to sober up when he and the wife went at it.... idk. People can be jerks. *platonic hugs* It's 47 degrees here in NY so the beach sounds nice.
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  #225  
Old 10-02-2011, 07:44 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Hey - just skimming over that leads me to my usual judgmental conclusion(s) when it comes to situations I know nothing about.

What I feel about it is - these folks have some THING going on in their own relationship where they have a need to draw other people in and act out. Kind of like what you were planning to do with the server, only more "sinister" (perhaps "sinister" is too strong of a word because it suggests malice, which may or may not be present).

I get the sense that you and Kandy are just looking for a good time and you keep getting stuck with people who have a ton of issues to work on, only to the other people, they don't see them as "issues needing to be worked on".

Kudos to you for relaxing your high standards and giving these people a chance even though they smoke. I am sorry it ended in such fantastic weirdness. I hope the ID wasn't stolen, just lost; ID's can be replaced.
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  #226  
Old 10-04-2011, 11:20 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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I honestly thought I would get blasted for some strange reason. Nice surprise. I told Kandy today, that in a marriage, ppl try to repair hurt feelings and also make up after a fight. She is still too pissed.
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  #227  
Old 10-04-2011, 11:27 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Did she find the ID or not?
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  #228  
Old 10-05-2011, 02:14 AM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Did she find the ID or not?
Yes. It was in our luggage bag.
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  #229  
Old 10-05-2011, 02:26 AM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Yes. It was in our luggage bag.
Grooovy. The paranoid conspiracist in me was wondering if those people kept it so they would have a passive-aggressive excuse to see you guys again.
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  #230  
Old 10-05-2011, 02:59 AM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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I am sorry this happened to you TL. Sounds like you guys did the best you could do, in a strained situation. It`s no fun for anyone, on any side when things get awkward. It happens to the best of us.

My first thought reading the story was : ' Tabi and Boogie had a argument before they got there.' Just a hunch. Which is in line with what NK said.
Things were not settled between them and they faltered. Even more then that, I fetch the same guess, that they are looking for some 'fun' for very shakey reasons.

I come to that theory from both sides of the situation. I can remember back to situations where Mr.Sour and I had a argument, and then trying to figure out where to go from there, when plans had already been made. UGH.

I also remember times where we could tell when another couple was feeling strained, and we hadn`t a fricken clue how to relax the situation.

It tends to be something that works out with experience.....you let people own their own shit. Imma fan of beating the tar out of the elephant in the room, when need be. Or calling it quits, letting people sleep on it, then talking later.
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