Hello I am a 35 yr old female in California. I finally got up the courage to ask my long-term girlfriend if I could have sex with another woman (close friend of mine who is poly). I have mentioned my interest in poly several times over the past year, now was the first time that I directly asked to do it. I got rejected, which I guess is not surprising but I had the dream that maybe my GF would just say yes. Instead she was quizzing me about why, I tried to explain that it would allow me to deepen the connection with my friend, but my GF turned it around and said I was being disrespectful to myself, if I think that I need to have sex with my friends or need sex to have deep friendships.
I was expecting my GF to be concerned that I don't love her, or worried that I wanted to replace her, and her reaction of losing respect for me and making me feel like some kind of slut was a big surprise. I have read the book "Ethical Slut" but I don't consider myself a slut, all I want is to have sex with one other person besides my primary partner, to have a secondary girlfriend, it's not like I want to sleep with all my friends. Only the cute ones. LOL.
That is probably enough introduction, thanks for reading, I would welcome any feedback or encouragement.