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  #11  
Old 09-12-2010, 01:17 PM
ILUV2 ILUV2 is offline
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Wait... I never asked him not to introduce me as his girlfriend. It was assumed in the beginning of our relationship that we were fwb's only...but it evolved into more. My BF is the one holding back from introducing me as more than a friend. He is concerned about other people making judgements. My opinion is that other people make judgements no matter what the situation. They either choose or refuse to accept a relationship that has given happiness to two people... happiness that many people never find. When I said my husband was "agreeable" I meant that he also feels that the BF should introduce me as his GF if that is what he wants to do.

I have never hidden him as my dirty little secret. My children know I have a very close friend that is a man and they accept that. My adult friends are also aware that I've got a male friend that I spend a lot of time with, alone and with other people. He is a wonderful man that I would be proud to introduce as my boyfriend.

As far as being secondary to my husband... please tell me how to have two primaries?! Until I can legally have two husbands.. he will have to be secondary to my husband and children. I can, will, and always have given my BF everything I can offer.. time, love, emotion, laughs and companionship. I've apologized for not being able to give him more. But I have always gone out of my way to NOT make him feel less important to me.

So while I thank you for your response, I do respectfully disagree with your opinion of the situation at hand.
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  #12  
Old 09-12-2010, 02:17 PM
Quath Quath is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ILUV2 View Post
As far as being secondary to my husband... please tell me how to have two primaries?! Until I can legally have two husbands.. he will have to be secondary to my husband and children. I can, will, and always have given my BF everything I can offer.. time, love, emotion, laughs and companionship. I've apologized for not being able to give him more. But I have always gone out of my way to NOT make him feel less important to me.
While this is kind of going off topic, I have seen a few "What is a primary?" types of discussions. The answers varied. For some, it is a legal or practical one about who you are the most tied to fiancially or wih kids. For some, it is about committment and depth of feeling and not about where people live. And for some, they refuse to label because they see it only adding to confusion.
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  #13  
Old 09-12-2010, 03:55 PM
ILUV2 ILUV2 is offline
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I like the idea of NOT labeling.
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  #14  
Old 09-13-2010, 05:50 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ILUV2 View Post
As far as being secondary to my husband... please tell me how to have two primaries?! Until I can legally have two husbands.. he will have to be secondary to my husband and children. I can, will, and always have given my BF everything I can offer.. time, love, emotion, laughs and companionship. I've apologized for not being able to give him more. But I have always gone out of my way to NOT make him feel less important to me.
I have two primaries, it is very possible. It's hard work, and everyone needs to know where they stand, but possible. PN and Mono are different and offer me different things in life, yet the same, just at different times. I am not able to marry Mono, but that is okay, he is just as important. I see him as just as valuable and close to me as PN, he is a different person and is there for me in different ways, but I would find it impossible to have Mono without PN and visa versa. I would rather be alone.
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