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  #41  
Old 01-08-2013, 07:50 PM
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Sounds like this was a need for M -- not just a want.
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  #42  
Old 01-18-2013, 11:54 PM
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Dust and Fish
How are you guys any progress to report?
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  #43  
Old 01-19-2013, 05:17 AM
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Not to bad, Kat had a night away this week which bought up some negative feelings at the time, loneliness mostly, but a chat and some much needed reassurance and we are all good again.

Sorry to be AWOL this week, life kind of took over and as I say I wasn't in a constructive frame of mind
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  #44  
Old 01-19-2013, 05:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish1470 View Post
Not to bad, Kat had a night away this week which bought up some negative feelings at the time, loneliness mostly, but a chat and some much needed reassurance and we are all good again.

Sorry to be AWOL this week, life kind of took over and as I say I wasn't in a constructive frame of mind
Aww, a night away, oh boy that must have been hard on ya. I hope she came back in a loving mood and reassured you. I remember thinking my H was stepping out of the relationship for sex and how insecure and alone. I remember being left behind on ski trips. Just not fun cuz it is lonely.
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  #45  
Old 01-19-2013, 02:25 PM
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It's still a bumpy and eye opening ride for me. We fluctuate between being on top of the world to I can't live this way anymore, and we swing on a dime. Both of us feel things are very tenuous - we aren't used to that.

The main issue is that I need a ton of reassurance, but I don't know how to communicate specifically what I need. At one level this is my problem, and I need to bolster my confidence - but at another it is her 'problem' (as my primary partner) to make sure I know I'm primary in her eyes. I'm sure opinions are all over the map as to who owns more of this problem - but we need to figure it out ourselves and we haven't yet. When you hurt it usually feels like the other person's problem...

But the good is wonderful - and I need to keep my head from spiraling into a negative place. How to communicate what I need when it starts to happen.
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  #46  
Old 01-19-2013, 07:46 PM
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I need to read this from time to time and understand that he also needs reassurance, acceptance and empathy for what he is going through. Sometimes it is hard when he raises his voice. I am not used to that but understand that his life feels out of control so he will act out in anger/irritation at times.

I am envious that you guys have communication cuz I can't help H without communication. I guess I will be asking what you guys are going through so I can go back and reassure H maybe make him something special for dinner. That was what I was focusing on these last several weeks was putting extra love into food and fetching for him. ((Hugs Dust and Fish)) Sometimes I give my H an extra long hug and massage his back when he greets me.
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