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Old 08-30-2010, 08:40 PM
skittles skittles is offline
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Default Potentially dating a FF couple

I am a straight male, and there is a possibility of dating two women who are in a relationship together. I have no experience with groups, but am interested in a 3-way relationship. We're just getting to know each other, so any actual date is likely a ways off.

As a noob to this sort of thing, what questions should I be asking them? And what questions should I be asking myself?

Why do I want to pursue this sort of relationship? I can't come up with an answer. Ask why I'd want to pursue a monog relationship, and I'd still be unable to answer. It's not a "3-way, giggitygiggity!" kind of thing. I have a real interest in polyamory. The question will inevitably arise, though- why am I interested?

Hopefully some dialogue here will help me think, and make sure I'm doing this for the right reasons. Any thoughts?
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Old 08-30-2010, 09:50 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Hmmm, maybe b/c they are nice and you like 'em?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62) loving Pixie (poly, F, 40) since January 2009, living together since 2013
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Old 08-30-2010, 09:59 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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It sounds like you are asking all the right questions. Only you can fully answer them however. If you educate yourself and make sure they are educating themselves too, eventually the answers will come to light. This forum is a great place to do that among other sites too.

In a nut shell the only thing to do right now is to be honest with yourself, with them and start talking about how they would like it all to work. I would wonder what their intentions are and what their goals are. How do they feel about alone time with you? What kind of boundaries have they already negotiated? What kind of boundaries do you have? Lots to talk about. Good luck.
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Old 08-31-2010, 04:01 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Well, what do you find attractive about them? Individually, that is--what draws you to each of them? Is each one somebody you'd be interested in dating if the other weren't around?
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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