Hoping to learn more about poly

[Wondering]

We have them and I have thought about that.

[NeonKaos]

Originally Posted by Wondering

We have them and I have thought about that.

Your first priority should be YOU. Protect yourself. Do what you need to do.

[FitChick]

Ok if you are afraid of catching something then YES you should do what you need to do to protect yourself. I have met my partners other 'friend' and I get on very well with her so we can all talk on the 'intimate level'. We all have agreed that we get STD checks every 3 months even though there is only the 3 of us. Far better to be safe than sorry..

[Wondering]

She did get checked before they met and i saw the results from her doctor. She didn't want us to be tested but would have and hubby has decided to go ahead and get tested so we are waiting on those results. All of her results were negative (so that is a bit of a relief)

[AutumnalTone]

It sounds to me like you just don't trust her at all. She's not wanting to get to know you at all, plus the apparent desire for secrecy on their part, plus her current desire to relegate relations with him to that of casual sex only. I can't say as I find anything wrong with being suspicious of her.

As for the last, is your husband interested in just an open marriage instead of poly relationships? If he's up for the casual sex instead of a romance, then it's a case of whether you're up for an open relationship in that fashion--and based on what you've said here, I suspect not.

Or is she wanting a romance with him that is open so she can have casual sex with others? That situation will require a bit more negotiation, I think.

[Fidelia]

A couple of points are really standing out to me, from what you've written:

Originally Posted by Wondering

. . . somewhere something went wrong. I was being cut out of things. He would start leaving the room to talk to her. It felt like she wanted to forget i was there. . . .

She and i dont talk bc she doesn't want to get to know me. She wants to keep the 2 relationships seperate and that isnt what he nor I want. . . .

What you describe is not polyamory, at least not where your husband's Gf is concerned. Poly is the concept of being engaged in multiple and simultaneous loving relationships, based on respect and concern for everyone involved. Your husband's girlfriend is not behaving in a way that shows respect and concern for you. You may have a cowgirl trying to cull the stallion from your herd. You are dead-on right to worry about her. Watch your back, girl!