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  #41  
Old 09-06-2010, 04:35 AM
PollyPocket PollyPocket is offline
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I hear ya TL. So sorry it isn't working out today. Maybe, just maybe, the blended mix needs to age a bit; you know, just sit there and wait a bit.

Today was a weird day for us too. I was strong mentally, which is always a good thing, but C was 'off' and quiet and so hard to figure out. She had zingers toward me all day that I took....then, she just upped and left. No idea. No discussion. Nothing.

Man, this thing is tough! We tried to have a 'communication meeting' on the deck earlier in the day, but I aborted it quick when I saw that C just wasn't into it. I even offered up the prime cuddle spot on the couch, next to hubby when she wanted to watch movies, but no takers. So I cuddled in to him and offered her a friendly arm around her waist area, for support more than anything....kind of saying, 'I know that you are having a bad day.'

AND I really thought that we were gonna make it through this Sunday okay. For sure, not as bad as it had been in the past, but way way way less than ideal.
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  #42  
Old 09-06-2010, 01:29 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Sorry you also had a tough weekend Pollypocket. It sucks....When it's good, it's wonderful....but when it's bad....It's absolutely horrifying and bad.
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  #43  
Old 09-06-2010, 10:36 PM
PollyPocket PollyPocket is offline
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Thanks TL! Ya, it sucks!
Friday night was so awesome. Saturday was okay. Sunday was dismal. NOW, Monday, it is OVER!!

C has pulled the plug. Didn't like me telling her that I was hurt from her multiple digs yesterday. The fight started on Skype, then I asked her to call. She did. I simply told her that I was mad at her for the way she treated me on Sunday. She said that she could NEVER be who I wanted her to be and that she was DONE. I said, friends should be able to tell each other when they piss the other off. She said no, that friends should understand when others are having a bad day and leave it alone.

Oh my dog, a long email to the hubby times 2 stating her undying love for him and to me, 'please respect the gravity of this and do not try to contact me'. FUCK!

Chicks are difficult man! The hubby and myself think that this is her just PMSing, but I guess time will tell. My heart feels like a grenade just hit it....

Hubby says that he can NOT endure it anymore, and for him, it is done. That this time it is HER and that she needs to take some responsibility too. He has used the last two weeks to get his head around the withdrawl from her. Funny, he cranked it down, and she cranked it up....and I just tried to stay sane. I think I can I think I can.....
Thanks again for all the support, Psquared
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  #44  
Old 09-07-2010, 12:04 AM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Pollypocket, I feel ya. I really do. Today, I promised my kid I would take him over to a mutual friends house to ride his dirt bike. S&D invited friends that L and I hate. Actually, S was the one who invited them. Anyway, I had to sit there and basically be quiet....and watch as S & D fraternized with these two other people. It sucked. L and I were miserable. We eventually left early. I drank most of the time, so I could pass the time and not be insane. Anyway, today...sucked except for my kid having a good time. That much, I enjoyed.

I totally understand your hubby saying he wanted to end it. It's what we do. We see the pain that it's causing everyone else, and want to stop the pain....So we end it. I have chosen to end it also. End it completely? I wish it was that easy. No, I have to sit by and watch as everyone else has a great time......and I get to be miserable.....my wife gets to be miserable...D gets to be miserable, yet acts like she's fine...and S is...well...fine. He's fine because he has a free pass blah blah blah.....Pollypocket, I hope things work out for you. Really, this is a tough road we tread upon. Not many have the cajones to do it. Not sure even I have em.
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  #45  
Old 09-07-2010, 06:21 PM
PollyPocket PollyPocket is offline
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Well here I am on Day 1, post break up, and feeling pretty crappy. Thank goodness for a well stocked med cupboard! Actually, both hubby and I are feeling so sad.
Yet, we know it is best. It just seemed that C wanted and wanted and wanted more, and I gave and gave. I mean, crap, I was going to therapy sessions to 'learn' how to share my husband better. How much more willing can one be to get better?

She was the one that broke it off and I know she must be full of regret now. I have not spoken with her. She asked me for that. Hubby received a whack of emails back and forth this morning, and he shared a couple with me.

What I am not understanding is my need to hear, see, touch all communication between the two of them. Where is that coming from? I know that my hubby has my back and is not 'cheating' etc, but wtf? I guess that I just feel so left out again (still). And I guess this is why you don't sleep with a friend and you set up really defined boundaries.

It started out so awesome and has moved to a love affair where C is almost obsessed. Really hard to take...and yet, like some fuktard, I just want to be her friend again.

What is up with that?
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  #46  
Old 09-08-2010, 01:46 AM
Livingmybestlife Livingmybestlife is offline
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It almost sounds like C is a cowgirl. Why are you in not allowed contact and he is swamped with it. I thought poly was about open communication, I would think you would be privy to the emails.
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  #47  
Old 09-08-2010, 04:35 AM
PollyPocket PollyPocket is offline
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As the poly world turns....omg!!

So now we are all having a meeting in the morning. C caved and wrote an email to us apologizing and wanting to go see the counsellor to help with 'staying friends'. Are you kidding me?

Hubby who yesterday said, "I don't care what you two do, I hope you stay friends, but I am out" now wants a meeting.

Me?? I am being pulled with heart and head in opposite directions! Yesterday and today were total write offs and I can not take many more! Waaaa, but I miss her. Wtf???

Do you think we can set up some better boundaries in the whole thing and somehow make this cluster work? Is it possible?

Truly, almost more than I can bare.....where is that med cupboard?
Help
P2
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  #48  
Old 09-08-2010, 05:18 AM
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Hi P2

Haven't been commenting but have been following your sorry saga. I have just finished a triad relationship before it really got going, to save us all a lot of pain and anguish, and also because of a major betrayal of trust.

I was surprised to hear that the long term success rate for these relationships is very low. I just assumed they were pretty common in the poly world because I know one into its fourth year and still going strong. Maybe we could put out the question to the board as to how many of this kind of relationship are successful after a couple of years? With all the drama this is causing you if the chances of succeeding are really so very low do you really want to put yourself through it?

With so much water under the bridge is it possible to go back to being friends?
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  #49  
Old 09-08-2010, 05:47 AM
Livingmybestlife Livingmybestlife is offline
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Polly,

Did Dh explain why he is now open again? Why she wouldn't communicate to you but would to him? I get that it is a different love. Why not share communication between all today? I do not get it. We had some boundary problems and communication was between all of us.

Just questions to ask?

LYBL
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  #50  
Old 09-08-2010, 10:54 AM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sage View Post
Hi P2

Haven't been commenting but have been following your sorry saga. I have just finished a triad relationship before it really got going, to save us all a lot of pain and anguish, and also because of a major betrayal of trust.

I was surprised to hear that the long term success rate for these relationships is very low. I just assumed they were pretty common in the poly world because I know one into its fourth year and still going strong. Maybe we could put out the question to the board as to how many of this kind of relationship are successful after a couple of years? With all the drama this is causing you if the chances of succeeding are really so very low do you really want to put yourself through it?

With so much water under the bridge is it possible to go back to being friends?
Do a little search. I asked this very question....With a poll. The results may surprise you.

I have given up.
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