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  #101  
Old 09-27-2010, 10:00 AM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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  #102  
Old 09-27-2010, 02:36 PM
PollyPocket PollyPocket is offline
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Default Post Weeeeekend update

Once again, all three of us had a fantabulous weekend!! It started with dinner, and drinks, then some dancing. I flitted about the dance, talking to many many people that I hadn't seen in a while! C and Hubby parked themselves for the night and chatted a la 'a date'. hehe.

They had a GREAT time, as did I, then we cabbed it home and had some more fun! Jeeeeesus, when will the novelty of this threesome thing wear off?? She left at around 4 on Sunday, and once again, hardly anything done all weekend....other than the obvious!!!!

As we all lay in bed with a health afterglow, I said out loud that it was sooo good to have 'peace' in my brain, and they both agreed. Why does drama have to punt peace out continually during the week?

I go away for the whole weekend coming up. C and Hubby are going to a concert on the Thursday night, with friends, then they have agreed to NOT see each other while I am gone. I asked them for this. While I feel somewhat cruel for asking this, I also feel that it was the right decision, as I feel at peace when I talk of it now.

The self knowledge thing that everyone talks about seems to be occurring for me...it was so hard to figure out my emotions at the start of all this, but gradually, they are becoming easier and easier. Ha, famous last words. Must have found ZEN just for a day or two....

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  #103  
Old 09-28-2010, 04:37 PM
PollyPocket PollyPocket is offline
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The self knowledge thing that everyone talks about seems to be occurring for me...it was so hard to figure out my emotions at the start of all this, but gradually, they are becoming easier and easier. Ha, famous last words. Must have found ZEN just for a day or two....

P2
Not to leave anyone disappointed....YUP, the ZEN is over!! AND instead it is going on two days full of anxiety!

I suppose that the cause of this anxiety is in the fact that I simply cannot get past the total disregard for reciprocation. I mean total. Hubby and I cooked, cleaned, poured drinks, engaged fully and completely in HOT sex, while C did little but act like a princess. Man, I make her out to sound bad, sometimes...and you have to believe me....she isn't. She is witty and charming and beautiful and has eyes to die for....but FUCK, please, lift a fucking finger once in a while!! (yes, pun intended ).

Can you hear my angst?

Hubby and I had another heart to heart this morning. He says that he is continually worried about how I am taking things. Whether, I will be okay. He says it is too much for him to take. I told him that I didn't want to be responsible for the 'break up'. We are all so ENMESHED in this web. She will be crushed - losing a good man, BF, and a good friend, me. Too good. I probably should have been better with some boundaries of my own because I feel like I was a total doormat, and taken advantage of...I allowed it to occur, because of some fucked up notion that this is what BFFs do for each other. I also can't help feeling that she simply is using me....it is NOT a good situation for any of us. I will be crushed too. Hubby? Well, he will be too....and he was the only one steady in this whole thing. It is for him, that I feel the MOST bad.

I want a bit of time to wean myself off of my dependency. Hubby wants to go cold turkey. I am not sure of the right solution. I just know that this whole mess is NOT what it started out to be....and is going to get worse, before better.

Any advice welcome.

P2
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  #104  
Old 09-28-2010, 05:19 PM
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Personally, I feel like "weening her off" only means leading her on, until such time as you feel you're ready to crush her feelings. Pull the bandaid off fast, is my advise
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  #105  
Old 09-28-2010, 07:08 PM
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Pull the bandaid off fast, is my advise
I'm with Sparky, rip it off s o you can all start the recovery process.
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  #106  
Old 09-28-2010, 08:31 PM
PollyPocket PollyPocket is offline
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I'm with Sparky, rip it off s o you can all start the recovery process.
Egad.
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  #107  
Old 09-28-2010, 08:51 PM
anotherbo anotherbo is offline
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I'd tend to agree with the band-aid post, except for one thing...

Reading the rest of this thread, there have already been times where one or more of you three have been fed up and called a halt to it all. A couple days later, its all back on track. You sure were spot-on calling this "The Polly Roller Coaster"!

For sure, leading her on would be cruel. On the other hand, you might not want to forge a permanent solution if you and hubby are likely to feel differently in a few days.

*hugs* and best of luck!


Anotherbo
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  #108  
Old 09-28-2010, 08:56 PM
PollyPocket PollyPocket is offline
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For sure, leading her on would be cruel. On the other hand, you might not want to forge a permanent solution if you and hubby are likely to feel differently in a few days.

*hugs* and best of luck!


Anotherbo
As always, Anotherbo, I appreciate your comments. I go away this weekend for 4 days. No matter what decision we reach prior to that, it will be a difficult time away. The brain is such a powerful force....I am hoping that I can turn it off for a bit and focus on what I am away for!!

I feel so disappointed that I could NOT make this work!! BUT such is life...I guess....YUP, I failed!!

P2
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  #109  
Old 09-28-2010, 09:02 PM
Livingmybestlife Livingmybestlife is offline
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Why do you take all the fault? It seems when there are 3 people in a relationship, there is fault enough for all. I certainly have messed up with both my guys. They both have messed up with me. It sucks sometimes and relationships are hard, between two. Adding other's is not always going to be easy. Life is more about walking through the hills, going into the valleys and up to the peaks.

Listen to what each person is saying. It seems like your husband has in the past said he wants to end and you push for things. It seems C has said things and they are what the be all seems to be. It seems like you push your feelings aside.
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  #110  
Old 09-28-2010, 09:38 PM
PollyPocket PollyPocket is offline
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Originally Posted by Livingmybestlife View Post

Listen to what each person is saying. It seems like your husband has in the past said he wants to end and you push for things. It seems C has said things and they are what the be all seems to be. It seems like you push your feelings aside.
LmBL, could you clarify that last part please?

I do feel a lot of responsibility....good and bad....through this whole thing. I tried so hard to make it work, but I am not that person. I thought I could. I feel rejected and left out, no matter what is happening....unless it is all in front of me. That is just me. Some people may call that 'nosy' or 'not minding their own business'.....but the feeling is the same, "left out...not picked for the team."

Sad.
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