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  #11  
Old 08-25-2010, 04:29 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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I thought sex-positive and sex-negative referred to people's attitudes about sex: do they see sex, in general, as a positive thing or a negative thing?

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Originally Posted by http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex-positive_movement
The terms and concept of sex-positive (or, alternately sex-affirmative) and sex-negative are generally attributed to Wilhelm Reich. His hypothesis was that some societies view sexual expression as essentially good and healthy, while other societies take an overall negative view of sexuality and seek to repress and control the sex drive.
My reading of "poly-positive and poly-negative" was regarding people's overall attitudes about poly. Someone could be mono and still see poly as a positive thing. Someone could have their heart broken by a failed attempt to be in a poly relationship and see poly as a negative thing.

I know it's semantics, but I would classify RP's descriptions as "positive poly" and "negative poly" as opposed to "poly-positive" and "poly-negative". In other words, I always thought the terms "X-positive" and "X-negative" meant you had a positive or negative attitude towards X in general; as opposed to some X is negative and some X is positive.

I'm "sex-positive", but I still think that having sex to build self-esteem is a form of "negative sex".
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Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 08-25-2010 at 04:31 AM.
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  #12  
Old 08-25-2010, 11:50 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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I read it the same way as SC: one's personal view of poly. Just like a sex-positive person is comfortable in his or her sexuality, I'd say a poly-positive person is someone who accepts themselves as a poly person or accepts poly people if they themselves aren't poly, that they recognize it can be loving and can work, etc.
A poly-negative person would probably be someone who adheres to the mainstream view that poly is wrong, that people get hurt, that it's not as good, etc, etc. It seems to me, you can absolutely be poly and still think it is wrong, and live unhappily in monogamous relationships trying to be something you're not.

It's funny how different people can interpret the same words in different ways
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  #13  
Old 08-25-2010, 01:10 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
I know it's semantics, but I would classify RP's descriptions as "positive poly" and "negative poly" as opposed to "poly-positive" and "poly-negative". In other words, I always thought the terms "X-positive" and "X-negative" meant you had a positive or negative attitude towards X in general; as opposed to some X is negative and some X is positive.
Thanks SC,

That's a great description - and the way I understood the OP also.
What we really need is to cut out 90% of the words in language so we don't have all this constant semantic confusion

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  #14  
Old 08-25-2010, 02:40 PM
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Very good points! would that make someone who is a cowgirl/boy poly negative?
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  #15  
Old 08-25-2010, 03:01 PM
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geminigirl geminigirl is offline
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What an interesting post topic!

I've observed in different poly communities, over time, that a "polier-than-thou" attitude can often crop up and this attitude generally reflects the prevailing poly configurations of the majority of the group members. For example, in one city I have visited, most of the participating poly group people are married couples who either have, or are looking for, their "thirds". Anyone who joins the group who desires a different kind of poly structure can be seen as "not as poly as we are". In another community, poly group members might be predominantly young, bisexual, kinky people who find polyfi couples to be "not as poly".

My point is that there is really no consistency about "poly theory" that indicates one is better than another, but merely groups of people who either tolerate diversity within their already-alternative communities... or not.

Since my own ideas and preferences for open relationship structures has changed over time, and probably still will, my personal preference is to encourage respect for diversity in myself and others.

I am wary of words that express black/white judgment, such as sex-negative/sex-positive. We are so much more complex than that.
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  #16  
Old 08-28-2010, 12:49 AM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by geminigirl View Post
My point is that there is really no consistency about "poly theory" that indicates one is better than another, but merely groups of people who either tolerate diversity within their already-alternative communities... or not.

Since my own ideas and preferences for open relationship structures has changed over time, and probably still will, my personal preference is to encourage respect for diversity in myself and others.
Well stated GG... hence my preference to "My poly is not necessarily the same as your poly, nor does it need to be"....

Admittedly I have a definite bias against "polier-than-thou"...and "gother-than-thou"...and "kinkier-than-thou"...and "enlightened..er-than-thou"...and "gheekier-than-thou", or "pretentious-er-than-thou"...you get the picture.
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