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  #61  
Old 01-24-2013, 02:48 AM
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Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
Nature doesn't care about consent, it cares about making babies. Anything that facilitates making babies provides a species-survival advantage.
Glad I muscled through this whole thread before responding; I figured one of you clever folks would say it before I got to it.

There was some back and forth about bisexuality being a "phase" (suddenly I'm moved to put quotes in places where they don't belong). It's important to remember that there are not only a few sexual orientations. It's not a three way switch (yuk yuk), it's a continuum. Those of us who are primarily hetero with only fleeting homosexual tendencies (or vice verse) probably perpetuate this perception of it being a phase. While I've had my experimentation with men, it is FAR from a lifestyle I want to adopt. I can imagine how someone would call that a phase, not realizing that it just isn't a part of my life anymore because the drive is not very significant - it wasn't just something I did because I was experimenting.

And, bisexual women are superior to hetero or homo women? Really? My own greedy interest in being involved with unicorns aside... show me something that isn't a sweeping, backhanded generalization or put that shit back in your pants. That's just rude.
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  #62  
Old 01-24-2013, 01:22 PM
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Those of us who are primarily hetero with only fleeting homosexual tendencies (or vice verse) probably perpetuate this perception of it being a phase. While I've had my experimentation with men, it is FAR from a lifestyle I want to adopt.
Being gay is not a lifestyle. It is a sexual orientation, nothing more.
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  #63  
Old 01-24-2013, 01:53 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Going back to the studies of women who consider themselves straight being more likely to have a same-sex experience, and women who consider themselves gay being more likely to have an opposite-sex experience, I can't help but wonder if it isn't at least partially due to cultural difference between the way we view the sexes.

I'm straight, and I've never kissed a woman, or anything like that, certainly not had sex with one. People often get confused, because, it seems, the cultural norm for females is to "experiment" in college or college years.
Since I was comfortable with my sexuality, I never felt any pressure to do so. However, I can imagine that some females who are more insecure would be pressured into having sexual experiences with people they are not attracted to, because women are "supposed to". We're supposed to be more fluid, we're supposed to have had a same-sex experience in college we can then tell our boyfriends about, and in some cultures, we're supposed to have sex with men even if we're gay.

So while it could be a very positive thing about females being more free to have experiences they want to have, and males being more frowned upon if they do, I think it could also be the opposite. There is definitely pressure for females to have sexual experiences with both genders, and to some extent much less trust that they're telling the truth when they say they're monosexual (not in the monogamous sense, in the gay or straight, not bi or pan sense).

So I think rather than basing it on experience, it would probably be more useful to ask people how much they are attracted to each gender, and possibly have a follow-up to see if it evolves during their lifetime.

It seems to me that it makes sense for someone to consider themselves straight or gay if they are, except for one person, for instance. It would seem dishonest to say "I'm bisexual" when the overwhelming majority of males or females does absolutely nothing for you. But I think that needs to be differentiated from being who do not have any attraction at all, but have had experiences, not because they wanted them, but because they felt they had to.
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  #64  
Old 01-24-2013, 07:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Natja View Post
According to Sex at Dawn, one of the best ways to increase sperm production/sexual desire in males is more akin to what we would colloquially call Hotwife or cuckoldry.
I saw a show about that on Discovery once, on that series they had about Sex.

This one has a much simpler explanation: a man who produce more sperm when seeing his mate with other men has a better chance of competing with their sperm, thus increasing his own chances of reproducing.

The same effect happens when a man's mate goes on vacation. His body assumes she spent the time away mating with other men, and so his body jacks up the sperm production in order to compete.
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  #65  
Old 01-24-2013, 07:35 PM
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Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
I saw a show about that on Discovery once, on that series they had about Sex.

This one has a much simpler explanation: a man who produce more sperm when seeing his mate with other men has a better chance of competing with their sperm, thus increasing his own chances of reproducing.

The same effect happens when a man's mate goes on vacation. His body assumes she spent the time away mating with other men, and so his body jacks up the sperm production in order to compete.

Yes they mentioned that holiday thing also in S@D.
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  #66  
Old 01-24-2013, 08:58 PM
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Being gay is not a lifestyle. It is a sexual orientation, nothing more.
Not trying to rain on anyone's parade.

If I had a male lover in my life like I have a female lover in my life that would be a lifestyle change. You disagree that's your business. K?
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  #67  
Old 01-24-2013, 11:26 PM
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The Sex and the City actress Cynthia Nixon caused quite a bit of a stir a couple of years ago by saying 'I fully accept being gay is not a choice for some people, but it was a choice for me'. I was not offended because I got it.

A bisexual person, wherever we swing on the Kinsey scale, DO have the choice whether we have a gay relationship or not. I always get annoyed by people saying someone wants or has a 'bisexual relationship'. You either have a hetero or a homo sexual relationship, if you are Poly you can have both types of relationships but you don't have a bisexual relationship, rather that is an orientation.

Yes, it can be seen as a case of taking advantage of heterosexual privilege but there could be many reasons why a person may feel they have to choose and monogamy is of course a big factor in that. Relationships are often a game of chance and numbers wise you are more likely to find yourself in an opposite sex relationship if people go into a relationship with an expectation of monogamy especially, then they have made a choice. Some people come to the realisation later that they can have both types of relationship in their lives by being Poly and open....and then you get crazy threads titled why Poly women are bisexual
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  #68  
Old 01-25-2013, 02:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Marcus View Post
Not trying to rain on anyone's parade.

If I had a male lover in my life like I have a female lover in my life that would be a lifestyle change.
To me, sexual orientation goes far beyond "lifestyle." Lifestyle connotes clothing choices, food choices, living spaces, vacations, whether or not you have kids, perhaps your religion, whether you go out clubbing or hang out at libraries or never go out.

You can be gay or lesbian and have nothing in common with another gay or lesbian person except that you both love your same sex partner(s). There is no "gay lifestyle." That is dangerous territory leading to the horror the right winger fundamentalists feel for the "gay agenda."

But maybe you have an idea in your head of what kind of lifestyle all gay men live... *shrug*
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  #69  
Old 01-25-2013, 03:36 AM
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That's the fucking problem when words like "lifestyle" can mean anything anyone wants them to mean. It's the price we pay for insisting that language be "fluid". To some people "lifestyle" can mean the food you eat, to others it means what kind of people you fuck. Or love. Excuse me, my lifestyle tells me that it's time to go shove one of my new butt-plugs up my ass.
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Old 01-25-2013, 04:54 AM
TiMCbyats TiMCbyats is offline
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In my opinion it's all about social fear and concepts of masculinity and feminity. Bisexuality/ pansexuality of women and hetero/ homosexuality of men aren't the surprising ones. Personally, when I read something like "male, straight", I just puke, for me that's the end of conversation, even if it has never started. For me, people that belong to the 'norm' are just disgusting. Although polygynous relationships aren't the 'norm', if they are meant to by polygynous, I see them as te same category as monogamy.
From my observations and not only, open-minded women inside (They usually don't show that off.) aren't monosexual, but they have weaker or stronger preferences. About men I wrote above.
I think, that question shouldn't be "why "poly women" are bisexual ???", but "why "poly men" are mostly monosexual ???".

I want to emphasize, that I don't judge, that's just my 'feelings'.

Last edited by TiMCbyats; 01-25-2013 at 01:34 PM.
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