Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 12-17-2012, 07:36 AM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,272
Default Attending events where people with current conflicts will be also

I created a poly group in our town. Its going well. I created it in order to allow for us to socialize with other polys without infringing on the existing group, because the lady Maca considered dating-and it blew up into a dramatic nightmare-is part of the original group.

I created an event, advertised as being created by me (full real name) and hosted by me. She was the FIRST RSVP.

MY first thought-WHAT THE FUCK is wring with her?
It has been a year, she continues to contact Mark with hateful animosity about me. I havent had shit to do with her and aside from texts, neither has he since summer. They kissed a cpl times-but the relationship never went anywhere due to her unwillingness to talk to me after boundaries were broken.

I have since moved the venue out of my home. But-I frankly-don't want to attend. I don't want anything to do with someone who is continuing to harass me passive aggressively through Mark AND talking shit about me to others.

I see her RSVP to an event I am creating (20-30 ppl in a private home) tacky at best and stalking when considering it is the 3rd event in two months she's done this.

I'm offended. Seriously has crossed my mind to send her a legal warning regarding me filing charges for stalking and harassment if she doesnt desist.

Thoughts?
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 12-17-2012, 08:56 AM
Emm's Avatar
Emm Emm is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 729
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
I'm offended. Seriously has crossed my mind to send her a legal warning regarding me filing charges for stalking and harassment if she doesnt desist.
Before you go the legal route, have you told her to stop contacting you? I don't mean "I'd prefer to go our separate ways" or "I'd rather you didn't call", but a flat-out "Go away. You were not invited. Do not contact me."
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 12-17-2012, 11:53 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,237
Default

Instead of advertising to the general public, you should probably make it invitation-only. Collect email addresses of the people who've been attending and let them know notifications will be sent via email. Any new members get invited by current members and approved by you or a committee before being allowed to attend.

I wouldn't take legal action at this point. I would just reply to her RSVP with an unemotional message saying she cannot come. "There are no seats available at the event. Your RSVP has been denied/cancelled" or some shit like that.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 12-17-2012, 10:17 PM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,272
Default

Nyc-you never fail to send me into giggles. I love your point blank responses.

I have gotten the event arranged now so that I am not needed.
The three of us will make an appearance at the start. Then we are coming home to enjoy a peaceful time with other friends.
I won't be making future invitations to the group as a whole. She is part of the ( less than 50 members) poly meetup in Alaska. So, my invites won't be to the group as a whole.
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 12-18-2012, 04:58 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3,030
Default

Sounds like you found a way to deal with it then.

As well as for future events -- making sure they are invite only and not "open to general public."

GG
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 12-19-2012, 02:52 AM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,272
Default

It truly never occurred to me that she would want to come to an event I am hosting-when she remains hateful towards me and is continuing to talk shit about me.
I saw her rsvp and my brain went in teverse because it makes NO sense to me.

I can't imagine planning to go to an event being held by someone I disliked so vehemently unless it was an event in honor of a child I was very close to.

Anyway-lesson learned. Yes, given the opportunity she will plan to attend events I host even though she actively continues badmouthing me.
(so bizarre)
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 12-19-2012, 04:47 AM
Hannahfluke Hannahfluke is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 105
Default

Maybe she doesn't necessarily view it as an event you are hosting but viewed it as a way to see where Maca lives and a chance to be able to interact in person with him again. That's where my mind went first when reading that she'd rsvped, to wondering if she had because she wanted to see "Maca's house". And since she hasn't seen him for a while, maybe a chance to see him. And, since she's vindictive too, it sounds like, maybe a way to find more reasons to bitch about you to other people, along the lines of "did you see the color she painted her living room? Does she not have any taste?" Who knows, mean people do weird things like that all the time (I'm watching a Japanese animation with my boyfriend that has mean high school girls in it that did something similar to one of the main characters, that's why I thought of it : )
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
ex-potentials, new years party, stalking

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 03:04 AM.