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Old 08-18-2010, 02:51 PM
X-User1335 X-User1335 is offline
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Default I don't understand.

Why is it not legal for a man to be married to more than one woman at a time?

Or for a woman, etc. Spin it any way you like, but why is it not legal?

So my husband can cheat on me and that's legal, but to marry the woman that we are in love with is bigamy, and we could both be arrested for it. Why is that?

I guess I'm beating a dead horse because even gay marriage isn't allowed right now, so this clearly wouldn't be.

I think it's ridiculous for our girl to have our last name she has to pay to change it. I think it's ridiculous that she can never be veiwed as his wife to the outside world, of course she will be viewed that way to us when that day comes.

I guess this is just a vent. About people putting their noses in where they are not wanted or needed. I don't need some girl who cheats on her husband telling me that my triad is wrong somehow. I don't need someone telling me that her and I being in love is wrong.

I cannot understand how it's wrong. Who are we hurting? How could our relationship possibly hurt anyone?? It can't. Bunch of closed minded butt heads.
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Old 08-18-2010, 02:59 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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that's too bad. I guess that would be polygamy if you all got married no? well, if you were religious I guess in a fundamental Mormon way. Maybe they could help you out though. haha! just kidding.

what's with the woman who is cheating telling you you're wrong? who is she anyway? maybe she has a partner that isn't very attentive to her needs and treats her badly. That apparently is an okay scenario to cheat in. At least so I've heard. There, that is my vent.
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Old 08-18-2010, 03:29 PM
X-User1335 X-User1335 is offline
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I know right. Somehow it's legal to cheat but don't make it official, or it's a bad bad thing. Tisk Tisk.
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Old 08-18-2010, 03:51 PM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
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Doesn't really make sense does it?!

There's a thread about the BC Reference case on Canada's Anti-polygamy laws which includes some background information in posts 3-6 on how the laws we live under came about...from those specific to Canada, and the arguments being used to defend the laws as they stand, as well as the patriarchal hierarchy that got the 'civilized' world where it is in the first place.

Still doesn't make it 'make sense' per se, but at least shows where the legal framework came from.
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Old 08-18-2010, 04:15 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jennjuice View Post
Why is it not legal for a man to be married to more than one woman at a time?
Hey Jenn,

Yea, unfortunately the problem comes in because of the (old) DEFINITION of marriage. In years past, when the definition was formed and put into use, it gained usage in many way some of which include taxes and other legal permissions/liabilities.
And that now is the biggest sticking point. We talk in some detail about this in other places here.

There's nothing to prevent any group of multiple people "marrying" in spirit - and via some ceremony to celebrate it. But the way laws are structured it can't convey the same rights as a single spouse.
Some of this can be worked around via legally binding contracts. Other areas such as tax liability, insurance, etc simply cannot be dealt with at this time. It's a VERY complex topic and will require a complete revamping of many existing institutions. And institutions are slow or impossible to change !

The best we can do is acknowledge the connection in each other's hearts, live the ideal to the highest degree possible, employ contracts where possible to grant rights & privileges and be creative in working around the institutionalized systems.

GS
GS
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Old 08-18-2010, 04:35 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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I believe in the states you can enter into legal contracts like a business that gives you a lot of the same connections that a marriage does. On another forums I used to frequent there were quads that had entered into such agreements, creating a small business almost, out of their relationship. Sharing benefits and mortgages etc.

Not quite a marriage, but it creates the tie that binds

The law is there as a blanket law to protect women, btw. It is to stop those men from taking multiple wives and tying them to a life of nuptial servitude as far as I know. Or it protects the "multiple family" situations where a man is living multiple lives. It is unfortunate that polyamory and polygamy are tied so closely together in name.

Last edited by Ariakas; 08-18-2010 at 04:39 PM.
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