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  #301  
Old 04-15-2011, 11:52 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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I hit 3 months a couple of weeks ago.. quite happy with my progress.

No other updates. Things in my personal life are going great. My relationships are awesome and ... well actually work is flexing all over the place. Thats part of work though hahaha
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  #302  
Old 04-15-2011, 11:59 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
I hit 3 months a couple of weeks ago.. quite happy with my progress.

No other updates. Things in my personal life are going great. My relationships are awesome and ... well actually work is flexing all over the place. Thats part of work though hahaha
I knew it was that time. Congratulations!
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  #303  
Old 04-16-2011, 12:50 AM
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I'm about at the 3 month point too but I'm having a very different experience. Are you doing the steps? Do you have a sponsor? This week preparing to do step five is particularly bloody hard. I'm thinking I preferred life with some alcohol in it.
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  #304  
Old 04-16-2011, 01:11 AM
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Morningglory629 Morningglory629 is offline
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Yea ARI!!!!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by sage View Post
I'm about at the 3 month point too but I'm having a very different experience. Are you doing the steps? Do you have a sponsor? This week preparing to do step five is particularly bloody hard. I'm thinking I preferred life with some alcohol in it.
Keep going sistah! The operative word is "some."
Don't kid yourself into thinking it is a controlled substance. If it is a habit or a crutch it just isn't something that should be dabbled-in. Know what I mean? Is it an occupational hazard for you- lots of social pressure? Are you feeling spiritually connected? Sorry for the hijack Ariakas!
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  #305  
Old 04-16-2011, 04:39 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Originally Posted by sage View Post
I'm about at the 3 month point too but I'm having a very different experience. Are you doing the steps? Do you have a sponsor? This week preparing to do step five is particularly bloody hard. I'm thinking I preferred life with some alcohol in it.
I am working the steps through the novalco system. Its an 18 week intensive of running through the steps. Its a lot of homework, but at the same time easier. Step 4 when I did it the first time was a serious kick in the ass. Step 4 with novalco is easier, but the requirement to jump to step 5 is there.

I haven't been going to regular meetings, this novalco class is a lot of work, and.. I don't seem to crave at all, even when things are shit.

I don't have a sponsor, but I might use a priest. I dont have a problem voicing my faults. I know what they are, and accept them. I try to fix what I can but I am human.
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  #306  
Old 04-16-2011, 05:12 AM
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Hmm I googled Novalco and it just comes up with essays on anger management. I don't seem to be angry. I have all this sadness that keeps coming up which doesn't really seem to link to anything much. It's happened before when I've given up alcohol and so I suppose I've self-medicated myself with it. I have never been out of control with alcohol as such (maybe a bit much at the occasional party), but I seem to need some most days to keep myself smoothed out. And yes I've had therapy. Maybe I really need to get to the bottom of it once and for all, I'm tired of it always being there under the surface of pretty much everything. I would like to live from a source of peace.
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  #307  
Old 04-16-2011, 05:17 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Novalco 12 step is a "study guide" for the 12 steps. Nothing to do with anger...

unless thats a"fault"

http://books.google.ca/books?id=BPQt...page&q&f=false

For the record I am not an out of control drinker. I am very in control. I drink daily and not necessarily a lot. I am a maintenance drinker instead of a binge drinker. Step 4 was a huge help at allowing me to see my problems. The core problems that brought me to drinking. Not just things people didn't like.

There are lots of tests out there that let you know if you are an alcoholic. But there is a pretty simple one.. "can you stop on your own".. I couldn't. I tried, a lot. But I couldn't do it. I wasn't a raging drunk and no one beyond those who know me best, would think I was an alcoholic.

Figure out the whys, of why your are sad, and you will begin to identify the aspects of your problems that produce triggers. ... Pretty simple stuff, the steps, and AA just give you a structure and a group of people with similar problems.
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  #308  
Old 04-16-2011, 06:13 AM
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Well it seems we are similar in that we couldn't stop (although we have) but we weren't out of control. In a way that's a problem for me. I go to these AA meetings and I don't relate very well to these people who have had very out of control lives as a result of alcohol. In a way it makes me feel different from them. A lot of the readings don't seem to apply very well to anyone who hasn't had their life fall apart as a result of alcohol.

Thanks for the link I'll check it out.
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  #309  
Old 04-16-2011, 01:43 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sage View Post
Well it seems we are similar in that we couldn't stop (although we have) but we weren't out of control. In a way that's a problem for me. I go to these AA meetings and I don't relate very well to these people who have had very out of control lives as a result of alcohol. In a way it makes me feel different from them. A lot of the readings don't seem to apply very well to anyone who hasn't had their life fall apart as a result of alcohol.

Thanks for the link I'll check it out.
Its difficult. To read stories about people whose lives have been destroyed, turned upside down and then shat on... however your own is not as extreme. I end up looking at it like its a "could be" situation. I have always been on a teetering point. How long until I go overboard... how long till it truly affects my life in very dark ways.

I look at it like this. I was always on the edge. Teetering between good life and drinking my way into a bottom. I was lucky enough that someone I loved showed me what bottom would look like before I got there. So I stopped...

Not everyone is so lucky. One more wrong turn, one more bad night.. and who knows what could happen. I have to look at all those peoples whose lives were destroyed and realize I was heading there..

Also for me, I was a high functioning alcoholic. But .. I still had problems that revolved around booze.

a -I had no coping skills and holy fuck did it suck the wind out of my relationships. I am still recovering from this trying to learn how to cope with challenges I could normally drink away
b -I am lucky I am as good at my job as I am. Not bragging but I am DAMN good. But being a drunk guy really interfered with my ability to be that good. Tired, groggy, brain fog, i was barely functioning up to snuff.
c -no savings, lots of debts an amount of income went to drinking which cost a lot

So while my life wasn't in the gutter, a couple of more slips and I might have been there.

There is mention of our type of drinking. I forget the phrasing but the medium range people. I have always been a bit adversarial and their "requirement" of hitting bottom to be a successful alcoholic creates a challenge for me. I want to prove as a medium alcoholic that I won't drink again.

That kind of perspective might help you
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  #310  
Old 04-16-2011, 02:29 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Interesting day ahead. My friends from seattle and vancouver are coming up to whistler to celebrate the telus ski festival. These are two guys I tend to do a lot of drinking with. Its going to be interesting to see how they both handle my lack of drinking...

And of course my refusal to go to "our" bar haha..
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