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  #101  
Old 01-13-2011, 10:59 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You know my email-if you just need to vent or you want to talk about something other than love life-you know where to find me.


XOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXO O
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  #102  
Old 01-13-2011, 11:50 PM
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maca maca is offline
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Hang in there my friend. I know its not easy, right now.
Try and remember " growth mind set". I dont know the lesson but there is always one there.

Big Hugs


Maca
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  #103  
Old 01-13-2011, 11:59 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Oh gosh, Ari, I'm sorry! And Sourgirl is leaving the board too? She's breaking up with all of us?
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw

me: Mags, female, pansexual, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, 37
We are both open to dating, but no serious other partners at the moment
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  #104  
Old 01-14-2011, 12:03 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Oh gosh, Ari, I'm sorry! And Sourgirl is leaving the board too? She's breaking up with all of us?
ummmm...ya...
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  #105  
Old 01-14-2011, 12:05 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Gosh, what a bummer. I had no idea this would happen. You 2 seemed so happy together.

sad sad sad
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw

me: Mags, female, pansexual, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, 37
We are both open to dating, but no serious other partners at the moment
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  #106  
Old 01-14-2011, 12:11 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Gosh, what a bummer. I had no idea this would happen. You 2 seemed so happy together.

sad sad sad
We were...very...
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  #107  
Old 01-14-2011, 01:34 AM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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So sorry Ari...As everyone else has already said you know we're here if you need us. If you have some time come over to the island for a weekend away.
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  #108  
Old 01-14-2011, 02:52 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Sitting here, no sleep again. Trying to break down the whys. Things in general were so good, but...things broke down quickly.

My emotions wave, between hope and hopelessness. I am going through so much right now, not just the breakup. I feel like my head is going to explode and my heart is shattered. I have lost a soul mate, I have kept my friend.

I need to get healthy before I can even begin to heal the rest of my life. There are things going on that ... need to be fixed before I can continue...things I can't discuss here, I am sorry.

Its hard not having any hope. Its harder still...wanting to lock up my heart and not give it out again. I sent a message to a friend yesterday

"why do we do this poly shit"

Its been resonating with me. Right now the reward doesn't seem worth the risk again.

Last edited by Ariakas; 01-14-2011 at 03:11 PM.
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  #109  
Old 01-14-2011, 07:38 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Two weeks ago I was ready to walk away from "this poly thing" as well.
I understand the feeling.

I don't have any answers for you.

But I'll send another hug.


HUG!!
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  #110  
Old 01-14-2011, 08:25 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Ari,
If we never risk the pain, we couldn't feel the joy. Eventually, it won't hurt so much and you will treasure the joys and good things that came out of this relationship. Your heart has been expanded by the experience, and you are forever changed. That's a good thing, though hard to remember because it hurts so much right now. Feel the pain and it will dissipate; avoid it and it will hang around. You are doing okay, I just know it.
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The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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