Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Life stories and blogs

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #51  
Old 11-04-2010, 02:59 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 999
Default Frustration

As Mr. A becomes a more significant part of our lives, it's harder and harder for me to resist the urge to talk about him. I don't like lying, so I hate saying, "My friend"; it's not exactly true.

I would just like to be able to start a sentence with "My boyfriend ... "
Reply With Quote
  #52  
Old 11-04-2010, 06:07 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TruckerPete View Post
As Mr. A becomes a more significant part of our lives, it's harder and harder for me to resist the urge to talk about him. I don't like lying, so I hate saying, "My friend"; it's not exactly true.

I would just like to be able to start a sentence with "My boyfriend ... "
Come up with a code, that might make you feel better until you decide to be out
Reply With Quote
  #53  
Old 11-04-2010, 06:38 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,390
Default

I can relate to the pain of spending a lot on "a single thing" (even if it's lots of different expenses, it's all for the same thing on the same day), especially on yourself. But while for us polys it's not a "once in a lifetime" kind of thing, it's still a very important day and it's worth it to make it as enjoyable and memorable as possible.

So I really hope that the day will make you forget how much it did cost you, and that all you'll remember is how perfect everything was, because it was done the way you wanted

Good luck with coping with that, as no matter how much you rationalise it in your head, I know the "OMG so much money!!!" part is always there somewhere in the back (or even front!). It's all worth it when you get to share that happy day with the people you love, and you realise if it was the other way around ("hey, I'll give you $5,000 NOT to marry him") you'd say NO WAY.
Reply With Quote
  #54  
Old 11-04-2010, 06:40 PM
SNeacail's Avatar
SNeacail SNeacail is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Near Disneyland
Posts: 1,678
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TruckerPete View Post
As Mr. A becomes a more significant part of our lives, it's harder and harder for me to resist the urge to talk about him. I don't like lying, so I hate saying, "My friend"; it's not exactly true.

I would just like to be able to start a sentence with "My boyfriend ... "
I don't like "My/Our friend" either and I hate having to explain who my husbands NSP is. She is our friend, but she is much closer to both of us and our kids than that. Sometime we call her his sister (like with the kids schools), but most anyone else, I just call her his other wife and it does leave people wondering . While I have had issues in the past with their connection, the public view of it has never been my problem, I think I like shocking people. When her husband and I are together, it gets a little out of hand. When others realized that I called her the other wife, they actually quit speculating.
Reply With Quote
  #55  
Old 11-04-2010, 08:15 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 999
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
I don't like "My/Our friend" either and I hate having to explain who my husbands NSP is. She is our friend, but she is much closer to both of us and our kids than that. Sometime we call her his sister (like with the kids schools), but most anyone else, I just call her his other wife and it does leave people wondering . While I have had issues in the past with their connection, the public view of it has never been my problem, I think I like shocking people. When her husband and I are together, it gets a little out of hand. When others realized that I called her the other wife, they actually quit speculating.
Maybe I'll just say it. My boyfriend. My boyfriend. It can't be that hard, can it?
Reply With Quote
  #56  
Old 11-04-2010, 08:18 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 999
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
It's all worth it when you get to share that happy day with the people you love, and you realise if it was the other way around ("hey, I'll give you $5,000 NOT to marry him") you'd say NO WAY.
Well, there'd be no point now - we'd only break even and I'd lose myself a husband!

But seriously, yeah, good points. I will try to remember that we deserve this day, and we've worked very hard.

Holy. Shit. I've just now come up with the basis for my vows. I'm tearing up at work. *needs to go write things down*
Reply With Quote
  #57  
Old 11-04-2010, 08:19 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 999
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Come up with a code, that might make you feel better until you decide to be out
"My monkey and I ... "
Reply With Quote
  #58  
Old 11-04-2010, 08:19 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 999
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ImaginaryIllusion View Post
I agree with Mono about the first part...not convinced I can support the second part though.
*blush* I missed this comment the first time around!
Reply With Quote
  #59  
Old 11-07-2010, 03:03 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 999
Default On coming out at work

From another thread:

Quote:
Originally Posted by TruckerPete View Post
Mr. A is a commercial pilot, just starting his career.

This weekend, we're going flying together, in a little four seat Cessna for the first time. <insert obvious joke here>

At any rate, I was chatting with my officemate just now and asked if he had any plans for the weekend. He said not really and asked about mine.

Perfect opportunity!

I told him I was excited because my boyfriend was taking me flying this weekend. I always refer to Indigo by name, so coworker said, "Oh I didn't realize he had his license."

I replied that yes, he's a pilot. Coworker started, "Wait ... " and I interjected with "Oh. My boyfriend. Indigo and I don't believe in monogamy."

Coworker responded with, "Oh. Okay. Well that'll be pretty cool!" And the conversation continued on.

My hands are shaking. I am relieved to be myself.
Reply With Quote
  #60  
Old 11-07-2010, 03:29 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 999
Default

I am back to feeling centered and grounded again. Between the wedding, Indigo, and Mr. A, I have been noticing little cues that just reaffirm how very right things are.

Two budding friendships have taken me by surprise. I am not the type to give out the friend title easily, so to have TWO such relationships forming is a real treat for me.

Normally, I would worry at such things, push them, try to move them into defined categories. Not this time. With both relationships, I am sitting contentedly, simply watching with interest at the different directions they take, observing my feelings and just letting things flow.

Holy crap. I think I'm growing as a person or something.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
blog, comminication, depression, new to poly, nre, personal growth, vee

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 02:40 AM.