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  #871  
Old 03-18-2011, 11:50 PM
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I love you too LR. You know that though We seem to be woven from the same cloth on a lot of things and I love that when I read your stuff sometimes I see myself reflected back.... *hugs*

I had an awesome night... good news... PN's dad is off life support, breathing on his own and talking! He's turning around! He is very scattered and confused. We are hoping that this will end and that there isn't any permanent damage.

With that news and PN continuing to need a lot of alone time (I miss him ) I decided to go out for St.Patrick's day last night with some swinger friends. Leo laughs at me because these are some of his friends and I spend more time with them than he does. It is kind of unnerving not to know if he has had sex with any of them... I haven't asked and I don't really want to know. He has mentioned a few things that indicate there was some stuff that has gone down though...

So my friend works for the owner of a building downtown where the Irish pub is and the owner of the pub invited her to the party they had... and any of the "girls" that might want to come. So I got all dressed up and went. It was a crazy night that started with shots as soon as we walked in the door. The owner paid for everything just to be hanging with pretty "girls" I got what our purpose was pretty fast. Meh, I got to be admired and pampered with drinks and food. Acted my regular loud, opinionated and jolly self at these sort of things and then got driven to meet Derby and Mono at another pub where my poly friends were.

I don't remember how the night ended, but I woke up in Mono's bed this morning thinking, "oh fuck... I'm in trouble, I have to go to work in an hour..." I also remember smooching Derby on the dance floor while Mono looked on as did a lot of his students that were there... he didn't seem to mind, who knows maybe they were jealous that he was there with two ladies?

who says a 41 year old woman can't party though huh?!

ouch
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  #872  
Old 03-19-2011, 12:09 AM
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Do you remember the dancing girl?
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  #873  
Old 03-19-2011, 02:04 AM
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ROFL, RP! Oh my! Glad you had a fun night!
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  #874  
Old 03-20-2011, 07:07 AM
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What a joyous day... lots of family time at a local lagoon walking and picnicing. Then home to watch a movie and snuggle all three of us. LB went to bed.

This morning I was feeling down as I am not doing anything much but stuff around the house and with LB all week I have off, but now I have some plans. I asked a friend if Mono and I could come and visit over night and might go to neighbouring city to visit a friend. I could also go to the house my parents just built on a neighbouring island also.... lots of opportunities to pick from. That was all I needed.

PN is working all week so I won't see him much, but Mono is off with me for half the week. We have some plans to clean up around the yard and do a run to recycle and dump some stuff too. It feels like spring and being outside is just where I want to be right now... lots of daffodils, hyacinths and polyanthius around... more spring flowers to come and lots of gardening.

Leo is in California with his family this week and has been giving me a blow by blow of events since he arrived. Jealous. not the fear kind, but the needs for a holiday out of time kind (inside poly joke there... )

I need to get on to the calendar and set some times up for dates etc... feeling lazy about it, but in poly it seems the calendar rules. I am definitely a sub to the calendar... it is dominant over all of us most of the time
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  #875  
Old 03-20-2011, 01:56 PM
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I think most poly's are slave to the calendar! lol

It sounds like a wonderful day!

The trunk picnic reminds me of one many years ago! We had gone to a beach a couple hours north of us. It was windy as all get out and we had to leave the food in the trunk and eat in the car so everything wouldn't blow away, lol. Mom never could pick a good picnic date ;(.
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  #876  
Old 03-20-2011, 02:59 PM
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Coffee this week?
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  #877  
Old 03-20-2011, 09:29 PM
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Default A really good idea!

http://www.wholeliving.com/article/the-love-experiment
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  #878  
Old 03-22-2011, 03:59 AM
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I gave up a show for our annual May long weekend camping trip with Leo and his family. This year I am organizing and booking the trip. I hope it goes over okay... I haven't stopped thinking and feeling sad that I am not able to be closer to him. It doesn't go away, just comes and goes. It was the right decision and I'm glad for what I accomplished, but I worry about the future and where we are headed sometimes. I don't want to dredge it all up again for everyone, there is no point, but I do think about it and feel sad occasionally for no other reason than I have lost the opportunity to show someone that I love them in a way that makes sense and feels natural to me. Oh pooey... don't like it. I also worry about how it will be between Mono and Leo and everyone else... I plan to just avoid Leo and not look at him. I will let him know ahead of time that that is what I intend to do. It's just better to avoid for me I think. he likely will agree, but of course I will talk with him more about it if need be.

I am really excited about the next burlesque show I am it... I will be sad to miss one, but I try and make these things winter specific as there is far more opportunity to do other things in the warmer months and I would prefer to take advantage of that.

The show I am in is my first attempt at branching out on my own. I have a really exciting idea. I will have huge victory curls and over sized shoulder pads for the event. I have to find a way to pull off circuit boards some how... its become hard to find old computers here now that everyone recycles them. Maybe I can find some fabric with circuit boards? I dunno...

It's all a work in progress.

Enjoying some time off this week and hanging out with LB and Mono a lot. PN has to be at the hospital to feed his dad every night as his step mum is back on her island for a few days rest. It's hard on both of them so Mono and I hold up the home front, which for me means a lot of laundry and cooking and cleaning and bullshit like that.

I was never a good housewife or mother in terms of enjoying the manual labour involved in a household... I am rising to the occasion, but I suck... I admit it... good thing I only have one child. Mono rocks at entertaining LB and being a really good buddy to him. I am thankful for that... as is PN.

I miss Derby this week. I am looking forward to seeing her on Thursday though as it's our monthly poly meet up... I hope to at least see her afterward for a drink. I don't know if I want to make the trek this month... we'll see, depends on PN's plans.
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  #879  
Old 03-24-2011, 04:02 AM
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I fucking love this! Thank you Susie for putting into words something that I understand about myself also.

"Well, first of all, I detest the term "casual sex" -- since when is it actually casual, this so-called casual sex? Every time I was with someone it was intimate. It was intense. I got to know them and they got to know me on levels we certainly wouldn't have known if we hadn't gotten together -- and I don't just mean what their bottom looked like, I mean their personality, their feelings. You're vulnerable with someone. I mean, some people say, "No, I'm made of steel. I just go in there and fuck." Have I ever experienced that, at all? I just don't find sex to be this jaded, cynical, stoic exercise. How do you manage to do that and have an orgasm? I don't."

from:"How a sex rebel was born-Susie Bright interview" by BY TRACY CLARK-FLORY http://www.salon.com/life/feature/20...ght/index.html
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  #880  
Old 03-25-2011, 04:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I fucking love this! Thank you Susie for putting into words something that I understand about myself also.

"Well, first of all, I detest the term "casual sex" -- since when is it actually casual, this so-called casual sex? Every time I was with someone it was intimate. It was intense. I got to know them and they got to know me on levels we certainly wouldn't have known if we hadn't gotten together -- and I don't just mean what their bottom looked like, I mean their personality, their feelings. You're vulnerable with someone. I mean, some people say, "No, I'm made of steel. I just go in there and fuck." Have I ever experienced that, at all? I just don't find sex to be this jaded, cynical, stoic exercise. How do you manage to do that and have an orgasm? I don't."

from:"How a sex rebel was born-Susie Bright interview" by BY TRACY CLARK-FLORY http://www.salon.com/life/feature/20...ght/index.html

Thank you for this post! I just had this convo with 2Rings. It makes him crazy that I have friendships with people whom I had past sexual relationships. Well I just never got the random hookup excitement. To me, as you know from previous posts, it is just icky. How do you get off on someone you do not know? I guess because sex is so in my head and not just a physical response like Pavlov's dog that I just can't register good sex= to random/casual. But apparently there is a segment of our pop (2Rings included) who can fully enjoy random sex like swinging and say its ok because it doesn't mean anything. UGH!
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