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  #741  
Old 02-03-2011, 06:01 PM
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Well, I have no desire to be poly-fi, so it would be silly of me to start a thread on it. I just thought, if you wanted information coming from others' experiences, instead of just hugs, it could be helpful for you.

I dont think we need another thread on going from mono to poly, since that is so common here as to be almost universal. A thread on going from open poly to poly-fi, or vice versa, would be interesting.
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  #742  
Old 02-03-2011, 06:14 PM
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The type of thread you are suggesting is not something I want to talk about at the moment. Maybe later, but I am too raw. I was suggesting something different. Maybe this wasn't evident or of interest. Maybe I will post that too at some point. Right now I'm too busy working on how I feel about all this so as to gain some semblence of normalacy for myself and not turn this into something it isn't. Thanks for the thought though mags.
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  #743  
Old 02-03-2011, 06:30 PM
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I am good with this, it just seems to be settling in like a symbol that I am owned by my partners rather than involved with them as an equal. .
If I may, I'd like to offer the possible idea that you feel owned by one partner, Lilo. There's no debate that PN or Derby are not holding you back....I am. I'm do not feel unstable due to this idea because it has always been this way. I do wonder though, how much of you holding back and denying yourself is due to external factors? Family, the future, what we have built, the struggles and battles we have overcome with acceptance. If those factors are the glue that hold you to me and not healthy fulfilling love, than that would be concerning..I've been in that type of relationship before and we've lectured people about this type of trap.

We have discussed alternatives of how to work around this issue or at least explore it with an uncertain outcome....but nothing in life is certain.

There is still a while before you need to pick a path with Leo...I trust you will chose with the intent of fulfilling your heart and not with the intent of protecting what we have built.

I am a mono guy in love and committed to a woman who has a husband and girlfriend and yet I feel no internal boundaries with that. Externally yes, it impacts me but internally there is no struggle in loving you within this. You are a poly woman in love with a man that requires you to internally restrict your heart to have him in your life the way you want him. There is the difference..it's not about being mono or poly...it's about one person being fulfilled with the partner they have in a healthy way who feels no chains or fences and another partner being unfulfilled and having a constant awareness of being shackled. The only struggle I have is knowing that those shackles have been forged by my own heart.
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  #744  
Old 02-03-2011, 07:23 PM
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Thanks for your input Mono. This isn't yours to take on. This isn't about leo right now or you. It certainly is not your choice to decide what is best for me. Do me the honour of allowing me to decide for myself what is best.

I'm sorry you have to witness my pain. I prefer it this way. Please be happy. I make my decisions based on our family, not on me at this point. That does not mean I am going to suck it all up and plaster a smile on my face right away. I need to process how I process so I can get back to being happy myself. I need time.
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  #745  
Old 02-03-2011, 07:33 PM
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Do me the honour of allowing me to decide for myself what is best. .
Of course Sunshine.


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I'm sorry you have to witness my pain. I prefer it this way. Please be happy. II need time.

No need to apologize, I need to see it. I am happy Love.
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  #746  
Old 02-03-2011, 07:45 PM
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I am following my gut on this. I can only keep checking in with myself. I can't do much more.

I'm trying to figure out who rp is in terms of Mono.

Everything changes moment to moment right now in terms of what I figure out.
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  #747  
Old 02-04-2011, 12:05 PM
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Each day, moment to moment, we make decisions which impact other parts of our lives. We make those decisions based on the information we have at that particular point in time. We make the best decision we can based on that information.

If scaling back your relationship with Leo is what it takes for YOU to live your life that way you need to live it then so be it.

There is only ONE person who has to be happy with that decision, or at least accept it for what it is, and that is the person who made the decision in the first place.

Others may gripe and grumble & that is their right BUT it is you, RP, who needs to be happy with it.

It sounds to me like you are getting to the point where you will be happy with that decision when the time is right.

You were once friends with no deeper emotional attachment, it can be that way again. Just give it time .

I love this forum and all the insights I get into other people and situations!

A toast:

*raises coke can*

Here's to making the best decision we can make based on the information we have at the time!

Group hugs!
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  #748  
Old 02-04-2011, 08:33 PM
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Group hug indeed! All about the group hugs
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  #749  
Old 02-04-2011, 10:36 PM
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Group hug indeed! All about the group hugs
*grinz*
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  #750  
Old 02-04-2011, 10:55 PM
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Group hugs!
Quote:
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Group hug indeed! All about the group hugs

Ooh, I love a group hug! *snuggles in*
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