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  #391  
Old 10-23-2010, 04:48 PM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
If you want to put on a show I can be an audience for you
OH oh !!! She could do a practice run this Friday!!
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  #392  
Old 10-23-2010, 04:58 PM
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Sigh, wishing I were at lovemore in seattle. I'm so sick of not having the money to do simple things that bring me joy.... It drives me crazy some days. The thing is that on the outside I appear to have as much as other people in my life when it comes to house, car, money to buy good food and some other small items, but that is where the outside look ends... truth is that we have nothing more to spend on renos (we have had an unfinished bathroom for going on six years now), travel, activities, clothing that isn't from a thrift store and on courses, workshops and going out to dinner and movies.
I know how that feels. I look at my friends and neighbors, and wonder wtf?

An option could be to organize a similar conference on this side of the border - either on your side of the water or mine
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  #393  
Old 10-23-2010, 05:36 PM
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I'm sitting in the back of my parents vehicle having just been told not a half hour ago by my dad that I am getting fat again. What is that shit?! I gain ten pounds because I'm not running right now because I hurt my knee and he thinks he has the right to tell me I'm fat! I told him that it is never okay for him to mention my weight and asked him to consider his words before talking to me about such things. Its not his business. Not to mention that the way I have learned about my worth to men is from him in large part. His comments about my weight and how I look have effected me my entire life. He didn't know that I perseverate on things like that all day.

Gotta go, I am being called on to look something up on the internet.
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  #394  
Old 10-23-2010, 05:38 PM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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My dad does the same thing and it sucks! You're gorgeous just the way you are. Sounds like you're having a pretty crappy day so far

<hugs and kisses>
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  #395  
Old 10-23-2010, 06:08 PM
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And Mono I would not feel okay about dragging you and PN out to things because I want to go! I think we might have to talk about that one. I hadn't realized you were both doing things you don't want to do because I want to! That's a tad concerning actually.
Just a note about hermits. The biggest hurdle is getting out the front door. It doesn't matter that we know we might have fun once we are there, but the thought of going is just not comfortable. Kinda like getting out of a warm bed on a cold morning (of course there are things that we need to stay away from to keep from bringing everyone else down). Just remember, every time you stay home and cuddle on the couch you are doing what they prefer.

Sounds like you maybe going through a little burnout on your job. Time to take stalk and look for what else might be available to you. There maybe something out there just begging for what you have to offer.
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  #396  
Old 10-24-2010, 01:25 AM
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RP, do you not do things with them that you don't necessarily enjoy doin.g simply because THEY enjoy doing them? I seem to remember a dat with you & PN not so long ago where you went over the finances--something you despize but PN enjoys.

if it were something either of them truly despised they would say something.

doing something you don't enjoy just to see the smile on their faces is worth it, no? I'm sure it's the same when they do something with u--they do it to see the smile.
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  #397  
Old 10-24-2010, 01:48 AM
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Thanks all, you always make me think
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  #398  
Old 10-24-2010, 02:21 AM
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we have had an unfinished bathroom for going on six years now
Glad I'm not the only one with unfinished bathrooms. In fact I still have holes in almost every room in the house from when my husband and his dad re-wired the whole thing. I didn't have the money to hire the drywall repair, and I keep putting it off, it's been 3 years now.

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How do you create interest for people? It was the same issue with you moving in Mono... it's all here. All here in this very thread the process of pulling teeth in order to get him to move forward to do something that he doesn't hold value in and costs money. BAH! drives me crazy.
With my husband, something has to actually break, leak, or catch fire before it ever becomes a priority to even look at.

For the washer, my suggestion would be to approach it as trying to avoid a last minute purchase because it decided to bite the dust (like the water heater). Ask him to research which one would be the best energy saver vs the cost, etc.(make it his idea). Ask him to start a special savings fund to go toward a new washer in say 6mo-1yr or so. As you well know with the water heater, having to replace big ticket appliances last minute due to major failure sucks.

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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I am not in a position to treat my friends to things like British night any more. Actually I went into debt for that one.
It may not be as elaborate, but assign each guest to bring something specific. BYOB works too.

Quote:
I won't be able to feed people when we go camping or go out to events as much and buy drinks.
This has been bothering me all day. Do you normally "treat" all your friends when you go out? I can understand every once in a while with one special friend, but not on a normal basis. We go out with friends and family and everyone buys their own drinks and meals. We go camping and we either bring our own food or we split the cost between everyone. It concerns me that you feel the need to always provide meals and drinks for others (I'm not talking about someone out of a job or struggling financially for some reason).


Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I'm sitting in the back of my parents vehicle having just been told not a half hour ago by my dad that I am getting fat again. What is that shit?! I gain ten pounds because I'm not running right now because I hurt my knee and he thinks he has the right to tell me I'm fat! I told him that it is never okay for him to mention my weight and asked him to consider his words before talking to me about such things.
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!
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  #399  
Old 10-24-2010, 03:04 AM
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Well I have a lot of friends that are under employed, have mental health issues, etc. Etc. Lots of diversity and poverty. Not that they go hand in hand people arrive at things and don't bring anything. I actually asked for people to bring British alcohol to the party; sherry, lager and lime, cider and black, port... Derby and Mono brought cider and black and Newcastle brown ale. That's it. I can't afford to have parties so I will wait to be invited no biggy. At least not yet. I tend to get squirrelly if I'm not invited out. That's why I create so many events. I think it becomes expected of me, which is fine, but often costs me money. I don't mind so much but have felt used a few times. This summer I gave our sleeping bag to someone who lost hers or didn't have it or something and Mono and I froze our asses off. Haha! That was just stupid on my part.
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  #400  
Old 10-24-2010, 01:13 PM
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When we get together with Possibility's family or other friends it's always potluck! They're welcome to come without a dish or drink, it just means there won't be as much to share but we certainly don't go out and buy extra stuff just in case, lol. We keep water, coffee & tea around but anything else, like soda, alcohol or special drinks friends have to bring themselves. They can also give us money ahead of time to supply what they are wanting to bring.

There's no reason for you to stop the get togethers entirely. Just make it clear that you can no longer foot the bill for the entire thing, others need to chip in in order to make them happen the way they have been.

Speaking of....I need to get in touch with Breathes & Possibility's wife & husband to check on the date for our next pot luck to make sure no one has any plans for that particular day, lol.
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