Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Life stories and blogs

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #361  
Old 10-17-2010, 06:22 AM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
It's unfortunate that you can't make people aknowlege and respect your relationship. I know that Mono doesn't pretend that you don't exist while he's with them though. Maybe they'll come around and maybe they won't but you still have an awful lot of people who love you just as you are.
It was a great visit but they are pretty sure that I have been brainwashed by a cult LOL! Just so everyone is clear, it wouldn't matter who I was with, they wouldn't be accepted easily because this family is also my ex wife and daughters family and the woman is her best friend. Poly just adds to the strain because they have much different values. It's no worse than the way I think about people who swing before I get to know them.

I don't blame them for judging the situation because I would do the same if I didn't have the experience I do. They are worth my investment and that is not something I say about many people. The sad thing is that they get less of me because they still relate me to my ex-wife and don't want to open up to my other family and new love. Ultimately I prioritize Redpepper and so they get what I can give when I can give it.
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #362  
Old 10-17-2010, 06:23 AM
Derbylicious's Avatar
Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603
Default

If they value you like you value them they will come around eventually.
__________________
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
Reply With Quote
  #363  
Old 10-17-2010, 06:25 AM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
If they value you like you value them they will come around eventually.
Given time I think so
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #364  
Old 10-17-2010, 07:50 PM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,634
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
Given time I think so
hm, we shall see, but really they think you have abandoned your child and can't seen to shake that she is the one who has chosen not to talk to you... they think you have replaced your daughter for my son and without finding out what is really going on or who I am, they will always think that. They will always judge, how could they not if they don't know me.

It's like getting to know a metamour, we don't know them and have no right to judge unless we have spent time with them and have gotten to know who they are. There has been no attempt and therefore they have no right to judge.

I know you are not invested in caring what they think and don't let it affect you and for that I am glad. You were like that when my mum accused you of abusing the boy and it proved that you have no guilt for something you did and don't do. I admire you for that and love you for it. You have taught me so much. I love you. (there should be a *kiss* emoticon...)
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
  #365  
Old 10-17-2010, 07:57 PM
Breathesgirl's Avatar
Breathesgirl Breathesgirl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 834
Default

It is their loss if they choose to judge instead of getting at the truth .

If there's no emoticon for kiss I simply type the one from msn messenger-- (K) .
__________________
There are as many ways to do polyamory as there are people practicing it!
Reply With Quote
  #366  
Old 10-17-2010, 08:00 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,868
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
(there should be a *kiss* emoticon...)
As the mod you might have access to add some ...its easy enough hehehe

Of course the other way is to use smilie centres



find a smilie, add the link (remove excess spaces)

Code:
[img]  http://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/liebe/love-smiley-001.gif[/ img]
Reply With Quote
  #367  
Old 10-17-2010, 08:04 PM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,634
Default

I had a wonderful date last night with my wonderful husband whom I love so much. We went to an IMAX movie (Van Gogh) and then out to a local brewery pub where they play music and we drank, I drank their pumpkin ale... oh so damned delicious... must buy some today as they run out fast!

We caught up on some stuff going on for each other and rehashed a lot of the same stuff we always do ie. our connection and the fact that because we have a child and deal with everyday stuff together we don't get to connect as much or as often. I reminded him that our connection is continuous and steady. With my other loves it is in a moment and situational. Its really about the same amount, but different. There was other stuff that we talked about too that relates to PN's health and is not for public consumption... but I got to console him and tell him what is going on for me in my life. It takes him a long time to open up and get into the moment. I need to be patient and let him come out of his shell, he is very private about his "stuff" which for me is annoying and frustrating at times. but also very endearing and I feel very blessed that he shares with me as he doesn't with anyone else on some things.

When we got home we decided to sleep in my bed for the first time. We headed down stairs (The boy was at his grandmothers) and opened the door to a steam bath. There on the floor was a whole days worth of water from the hot water tank. We hadn't been down there all day. We spent three hours cleaning it up. At one point we couldn't figure out why it kept still coming up! We realized, with much horror, that we had been floating on water. The whole floor was lifted. We began tearing up laminate and discovered another inch of water underneath. sigh.... it was a long night and now the place is a mess. I have no idea where to start and neither does PN.

Of course Mono came breezing in this morning completely unphased. "Oh ya, that's nothin... I'll fix it up in no time." He's down there doing stuff now while I get ready to go out to a girly afternoon with Derby, of bra sizing and eating treats... PN is listening to music and ironing his shirts for the week, Mono is downstairs listening to music too, the boy is playing on his DS with the guinea pig, the sun is shining through the windows... all is good in the world as of this moment.
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
  #368  
Old 10-17-2010, 09:38 PM
Breathesgirl's Avatar
Breathesgirl Breathesgirl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 834
Default

Quote:
all is good in the world as of this moment.
and that's what makes this all worth it...our world being happy & good in the moment. No matter what comes down the road we still have that moment to remember, embrace and enjoy.
__________________
There are as many ways to do polyamory as there are people practicing it!
Reply With Quote
  #369  
Old 10-18-2010, 02:28 AM
Derbylicious's Avatar
Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603
Default

It makes me smile that you ended that post with "all is good at the moment". I'm not sure how quickly I would get to all is good after a flood. It definitely took me more than a day when it happened to me...and I don't even have a room in the basement!

It was lovely seeing you today as always...the time with you goes too quickly.
__________________
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
Reply With Quote
  #370  
Old 10-18-2010, 02:46 AM
SNeacail's Avatar
SNeacail SNeacail is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Near Disneyland
Posts: 1,546
Default

I swear those water heaters need warning lights or alarms or something on them. You never know there is even a problem until your ankle deep in water. Just went through this last month, but luckily ours was in our garage and the floor is just concrete, but we did find 2 additional leaking water pipes. You have my sypathies.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
bdsm, boundaries, breaking up, casual sex, children, coming out, coming out to family, communication, family, foundations, kids, ldr, ldrs, mono poly, mono poly dating nature, mono/poly, moving in, negotiations, poly-fi, poly-fidelous, redpepper, rules, swinging, third partner, vee

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 07:51 AM.