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  #191  
Old 08-31-2010, 06:28 PM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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Hope it works out for everyone. It sounds like you all have found a way to meet eachothers needs. Good luck. Have fun with the moving
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  #192  
Old 08-31-2010, 06:56 PM
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Great news, I'm glad things are looking up!


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  #193  
Old 08-31-2010, 08:58 PM
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mercury must be out of retrograde??????
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  #194  
Old 08-31-2010, 09:07 PM
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mercury must be out of retrograde??????
Did I say that here or was that on facebook? I can't remember. I know little of astrology but bad stuff seems to happen when Murcury is in retrograde.
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  #195  
Old 09-01-2010, 02:44 AM
RGee91 RGee91 is offline
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*joins happy dance after everyone else has already stopped but I'm reading this late so dammit I'm gonna happy dance right now!*

.....
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  #196  
Old 09-01-2010, 04:02 AM
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*joins happy dance after everyone else has already stopped but I'm reading this late so dammit I'm gonna happy dance right now!*

.....
Thanks Raze and evrybody else keep on dancing!
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  #197  
Old 09-01-2010, 12:35 PM
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Originally Posted by RazeGeneration View Post
*joins happy dance after everyone else has already stopped but I'm reading this late so dammit I'm gonna happy dance right now!*

.....
Dances with ya!

Wow, I didnt expect this to happen so soon.
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me: Mags, 58, living with:
miss pixi, 37, who is dating (NRE):
Master, 32
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  #198  
Old 09-01-2010, 08:43 PM
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Wow, I didnt expect this to happen so soon.
Polynerdist and I have been scheming behind her back...ssshhhh don't tell her though
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  #199  
Old 09-06-2010, 06:51 AM
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Talking about casual sex and participating in it is just, well, boring to me. It's like talking about brushing my teeth.

Is there something wrong with me? That I don't want to fuck the cock of my friend, or see the pussy of my other? It's just a "meh" *shrug* moment for me. I could be looking at there shoulder. Well, no, because I'm not disturbed by their shoulder. I would be disturbed by the fact that they expect me to look! Or that they are showing me their sex skills. To do something with them or watch something with their genitals and enjoy it. How could I? How does anyone? What's to talk about? Its private. It's bedroom stuff. It's not what friendship is about to me and not what strangers are about to me.

Talking about and participating in the incredible, earth shattering, body transforming sex that Mono and I have and how it has utterly changed my life and sex forever, would be interesting... but I'm sorry, anything less than the sex I have with any of my loves is just masturbating or brushing my teeth. What's there to say? How is it interesting...? What am I missing here? What is the deal with casual sex and why do some people think that it is so "all that" I don't get it! How can fucking just anyone be so great? So great that one needs to do that whole "YA" thing as if they scored a goal? Is it about that even?

I'm finding sometimes that I really have no relation to those that call themselves poly around me. The students at the university seem to think that poly is about fucking everyone and calling it love. I used to do that and call it dating. What's the difference...? more and more I find that no one really wants to talk about it, but just get on with what they do and pretend that we all are on the same wave length...its comfortable to think that maybe? There seems to be an over all attitude of people thinking that their way is the thee way and that anyone who wants them to explain it, or understand it and then ask questions or voice opinions is to be avoided because they are a threat to that.

Don't get me wrong, I love my community and all it's diversity, but I just get a tad fed up with some people who think that their version of poly is all there is and don't talk about anything else as being valid or even what some of us do! I feel like I go out of my way to say that there are different ways and yet I hear nothing of that from others... maybe I'm just projecting that? Maybe I am just not there for conversations that happen where people actually say that it is possible to have a mono boyfriend when you are poly and it is possible that some people are not interested in casual sex and this is why.

The thing I don't get is that THIS is the only place I get to have a meaningful discussion with anyone right now! I go to things in real life sometimes and end up feeling empty and completely misunderstood and misinterpreted. That some how it seems all a big competition to "get" partners or lovers. A competition to be right in terms of ones view and way of doing poly. I can't remember the last deep conversation I have had that felt satisfying with anyone in real life other than my loves. Maybe that is why they are my loves? Where are the people like me? Where are the poly people in my community that live like me? I feel like a freak!

Maybe it's time to hunker down and find those that are like minded. Even my closest friends don't want to talk to me about poly because they think I want to prescribe a definition onto them. I don't! I just want to come away having had a decent conversation where by others don't compete, project, assume, haven't heard what I say, and haven't argued with me. I want to come away from something other than here, and think, WOW, I actually learned something and was moved! I actually moved someone else too! A balance would be nice...

I would like to talk to people that are humble and are open to anything that I say. Rather than so stuck in their way is thee way and that anything that I say, in my difference is just simply that; different and worth thinking about. Maybe this is where I need to find commonality... in people that want to be moved and keep learning!

I know I will probably wear this, but I just need to vent.

I just need something. Is that so much to ask for it to be fulfilled?

PN says I should just find ways to allow others to feel safe talking to me. I don't know how to do that. I guess I will attempt to start with that. I feel like I am, but that there just aren't others that want to talk... I think people don't talk to me because I have some how become desperate about it and that might be evident in my manner.

I get more depth and creative thinking fixes from newbies I think because of the raw desire to understand and figure themselves out, than I do from the so called established poly's sometimes.. ones that have sometimes closed their minds to any other way or understanding of poly... I need to actually talk about real relationships (such as on here, only in real life), rather than dwelling on the past and what has happened to make me poly... I'm driven towards a future and to growth. How do I accomplish working on that with others who are like minded?

I thought I might start a local group that meets for support in their relationships... one that knows all the stuff and is living it. There would be no need to talk about a topic, because that would come up as needed. We would talk about our relationships and ask questions of each other and confront some of the major issues that come up instead... I think I better get on this and see if it is where my heart lies more.

Well there we go, I just wrote myself out of my vent and into something productive. I love that
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Last edited by redpepper; 09-06-2010 at 11:36 PM. Reason: misinterpretations
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  #200  
Old 09-06-2010, 07:01 AM
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janeb1958 janeb1958 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I thought I might start a local group that meets for support in their relationships... one that knows all the stuff and is living it. There would be no need to talk about a topic, because that would come up as needed. We would talk about our relationships and ask questions of each other and confront some of the major issues that come up instead... I think I better get on this and see if it is where my heart lies more.
Now THIS sounds like a great group!!!!

I'm sorry, but I thought casual sex -- sex for sex sake -- was "Swing"? I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that but it's different than Poly. I've always heard/read that Poly, if sex was involved, was with someone where there is a heart connection, where love is involved...just saying!
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