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  #1731  
Old 06-02-2013, 07:31 PM
CherryBlossomGirl CherryBlossomGirl is offline
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Default Tough Stuff.

My heart goes out to you - I know what it's like to struggle, to want to push everyone away, to want to rip it all down and start again. Take care of yourself RP - yoga and jogging are the only known cures for depression (read William Glasser, he is awesome in times like this) and I would recommend BOTH. Good food, good sleeps, time with yourself, water, exercise, hot baths... as my dad always tells me at the lowest points of my life - this too, shall pass. Huge.
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  #1732  
Old 06-03-2013, 02:44 AM
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
. . . a mono boyfriend, a good vibrator and all that would make a full life.
I know you were joking (or maybe not), but it makes me curious -- why do you only want a mono bf when you are poly? It seriously puzzles me.

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  #1733  
Old 06-03-2013, 03:37 AM
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I know you were joking (or maybe not), but it makes me curious -- why do you only want a mono bf when you are poly? It seriously puzzles me.

I was joking. Although, even though I was being sarcastic, it has crossed my mind. Maybe I'm not poly after all. Maybe this is where it all changes for me. I always thought it wouldn't be forever.... who knows. I will keep you posted.
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  #1734  
Old 06-03-2013, 03:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Somegeezer View Post
I was about to say pretty much the same thing.

Something is wrong, and you do not seem yourself.

and you most certainly are loved, in so many ways. Even by many of us here, I suspect. Certainly not nice, not knowing how to help you out. But a doc may be able to.
The doc might help sure.... I'm a deep processor. Freaky isn't it? No one can help really except to acknowledge I am here and will live. It takes about three months to get through a trauma. I've had a few this year and I always get through them. This will be no different. You'll see. Apparently something clicks and suddenly it all seems different with trauma. I await the "aha" moment. If I don't have one then I will conjure up a change somehow.
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  #1735  
Old 06-03-2013, 03:46 AM
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Originally Posted by BaggagePatrol View Post
My heart goes out to you - I know what it's like to struggle, to want to push everyone away, to want to rip it all down and start again. Take care of yourself RP - yoga and jogging are the only known cures for depression (read William Glasser, he is awesome in times like this) and I would recommend BOTH. Good food, good sleeps, time with yourself, water, exercise, hot baths... as my dad always tells me at the lowest points of my life - this too, shall pass. Huge.
Rip it all down fits entirely. A total renovation is what I feel like creating. A move to another house even. I am weighing it all up and deciding what is affordable and what I can make do with. Also what I want to keep.

This too shall pass
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  #1736  
Old 06-03-2013, 03:57 AM
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I have a big week this week. Mono is away for two or three nights and I plan to use the time to totally distract and have a good time and relax. I am going to his female friends house tomorrow night to watch something with her and drink beer. The next day I am meeting my new mono friend for a couple hours time together and then dinner with Brad, who I have been seeing again. For now I enjoy his company and love. I care for him and it just, well, feels right.. I see little difference now in deep friendship and partnership anyway. Its all loving and fills my heart.

Derby and I are spending some time together. I have missed her company and with time I really hope that being friends seems much like how we were partners. I see no reason to change. Other than time expectations. She is struggling with the change of status however and I am doing my best to honour and validate her feelings.

Bring on the week. Mantras this week include being in my body and just saying "me" over and over again in my head. Its stramgeky comforting. Occasionally I add a huge arm stretch and breath deeply so my chest spreads open and the pain in my chest disappates for a second.
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Last edited by redpepper; 06-03-2013 at 12:04 PM.
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  #1737  
Old 06-03-2013, 04:55 AM
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I am going to his female friends house tomorrow night to watch something with her and drink beer.

Redpepper, I know this is your blog & all that, but would it be possible for you to give this person a nickname? I'm sure this is MY problem - but, i found it creepy from Day One that you've been referring to her as "female friend" all the time. It makes her sound like a SPECIMEN, like something preserved in a jar of formaldehyde for medical students to study. I realize that there might be some purpose to your doing it that way, as if to keep her segregated in your mind or something, which is your prerogative I suppose.

I'm curious if there is anyone else who has thought the same thing as I have above regarding this "female friend" descriptor.
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  #1738  
Old 06-03-2013, 05:05 AM
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Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
Redpepper, I know this is your blog & all that, but would it be possible for you to give this person a nickname? I'm sure this is MY problem - but, i found it creepy from Day One that you've been referring to her as "female friend" all the time. It makes her sound like a SPECIMEN, like something preserved in a jar of formaldehyde for medical students to study. I realize that there might be some purpose to your doing it that way, as if to keep her segregated in your mind or something, which is your prerogative I suppose.

I'm curious if there is anyone else who has thought the same thing as I have above regarding this "female friend" descriptor.
Good point BG. I did name her something but I have forgotten what at this point. I shall call her June. Please remind me if I forget again?
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  #1739  
Old 06-03-2013, 01:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I have a big week this week. Mono is away for two or three nights and I plan to use the time to totally distract and have a good time and relax. I am going to his female friends house tomorrow night to watch something with her and drink beer. The next day I am meeting my new mono friend for a couple hours time together and then dinner with Brad, who I have been seeing again. For now I enjoy his company and love. I care for him and it just, well, feels right.. I see little difference now in deep friendship and partnership anyway. Its all loving and fills my heart.

Derby and I are spending some time together. I have missed her company and with time I really hope that being friends seems much like how we were partners. I see no reason to change. Other than time expectations. She is struggling with the change of status however and I am doing my best to honour and validate her feelings.

Bring on the week. Mantras this week include being in my body and just saying "me" over and over again in my head. Its stramgeky comforting. Occasionally I add a huge arm stretch and breath deeply so my chest spreads open and the pain in my chest disappates for a second.
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  #1740  
Old 06-03-2013, 07:23 PM
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Yes em. Doing my best.
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