Redpepper's journey

[redpepper]

So the sexual boundaries workshop went well at poly camp. I think I need to wrap my head around some stuff as a result as it seemed that some people didn't get it... or maybe they had really good boundaries The mediation was on creating a sexual experience that is comfortable and completely fashioned around ones own fantasy. Then, in the art, there is a chance to express what that felt like and what came up in terms of emotions and feelings in the body. I think everyone got something out of it.... but most of the people there were not the ones that perhaps needed to look at their sexual boundaries as much... kind of preaching to the converted it felt like.

life ticks on here and everyone is doing fine. PN is going on a week long mediation retreat this week and its just Mono, LB and me. I'm looking forward to that, but will miss my PN. He is so good to me in so many ways. I will miss that.

I have seen Derby a few times in the last weeks, mostly for coffee dates and once to work the door at a burlesque show. She was at camp last week and has been busy... as have I. Still we talk every day and are getting along well.

Leo and I won't see each other for a few more weeks. 6 weeks in between dates! Too long, but at least we will be camping again between now and then... both our families that is. We chat every day and have worked out how to approach each other on line when we start to get confused and read in to to things.

I have another burlesque show coming up early September... this time I will be doing a D/s inspired number. I was hoping to get a local sub boy to help me out but that isn't going to work for him. Too bad, he would of been perfect! I have a burlesque friend going to help me instead. She will be good I think, but he really inspires me to make him submit... I don't know how I will be inspired by her. I will see I guess.

[redpepper]

PN is away and I am now aware that he creates most of the dishes. He is an excellent supporter of my not being a morning person; I miss the coffee in bed I feel like something is missing and am finding it hard to keep up with things.

I realized today that I am most completely fulfilled. What the hell am I still doing here? I don't even think about poly most of the time. I just live it. I am sick of the word actually. Mono-poly-whatever.... its all just a term to describe what kind of relationship dynamic one is in at the moment. I have come to learn that most of the time its just a flash in the pan. Most people are just finding where they belong, getting laid by whatever means necessary and trying to grasp on to some kind of control over all of that. In ten years they will be doing the same but will be doing it with others and in a totally different way. Maybe with basket weaving.

Why do people pick on basket weaving for these kind of things.... sorry to the basket weavers.

[SNeacail]

Originally Posted by redpepper

I miss the coffee in bed

My husband also brings coffee into me in the mornings and it isn't until it doesn't appear that I really appreciate what a wonderful little thing it is.

What the hell am I still doing here?

We need your wonderful insight on interpersonal relationships

I am sick of the word actually. Mono-poly-whatever.... its all just a term to describe what kind of relationship dynamic one is in at the moment.

Agreed.

Why do people pick on basket weaving for these kind of things....

Growing up it was alway "underwater basket weaving"

[Tonberry]

Originally Posted by SNeacail

My husband also brings coffee into me in the mornings and it isn't until it doesn't appear that I really appreciate what a wonderful little thing it is.

Into you? Ouch!

RP, I love hearing from you, I would miss you if you left and I'm sure many others would too. I don't see this as a place where you have to have problems to go. I see it as a community of people who share something that's an important part of their lives and can be there for one another.

[TruckerPete]

Originally Posted by redpepper

I realized today that I am most completely fulfilled. What the hell am I still doing here? I don't even think about poly most of the time. I just live it. I am sick of the word actually. Mono-poly-whatever.... its all just a term to describe what kind of relationship dynamic one is in at the moment. I have come to learn that most of the time its just a flash in the pan. Most people are just finding where they belong, getting laid by whatever means necessary and trying to grasp on to some kind of control over all of that. In ten years they will be doing the same but will be doing it with others and in a totally different way. Maybe with basket weaving.

I have to admit, I got a little tired of reading the new to poly section for a bit. So sad. So much hurt.

It also may have been the reason behind the recent "practicing" addition to my signature.

[sage]

RP you mentioned somewhere that you are/were feeling compassion fatigue. I get that as well. That is why I get on here for a while and then pull away from time to time. It seems there will always be a revolving door of people passing in and out of these forums looking for advice and help. You don't have to help all of them, or even any of them. You don't have to do anything. Have a break if you want, or just post where and when you feel like it. Maybe take a break from moderating?

I agree with Tonberry, this is a community and you may need a break but hopefully you can participate freely and just enjoy it, when and however you choose to. The forum just wouldn't be the same if you gave it up completely.

Hugs Sage

[redpepper]

Interesting card today.

[marksbabygirl]

I like that... its something to think about...

[Derbylicious]

Are you bringing your cards with you today?

[redpepper]

So, I just FOUND my blog amongst all the others, reading along the way and have now run out of time to post! Damn... so much to say too... I will have to get on it later.

Its been so hard to get here lately!