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  #41  
Old 08-22-2010, 03:02 AM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Today, L and I spent the whole day together...ALONE.... Talking.....We told each other, at the beginning of the day, that we didn't want to talk about S and D all day....That lasted about 5 minutes. LOL :P We talked about how to proceed with them.....The whole day. Then, later in the day, S sent me a text asking how we were. This was nice to hear form them....But I told him that we were fine, and asked him how they were. He said they were "as good as they CAN be". HUH? I asked him if things with them were "ok". No answer...So I re-sent the message....Still no answer. So I send another message telling them we r worried....STILL no answer! So I called him and spoke to him for a little while. He almost sounded like they were argueing. Then told me that they were going someplace for the evening. Oddly enough, they told us they were going someplace else a couple days before. :/ Oh well. I told him I hoped that they had a great rest of the day, and hung up.

L and I talked.....a LOT. So we came up with a bit of an idea. We are not going to try to re-kindle the lovers in them....but the friends in them that we had. We (L and I) still remember almost every place that we have ever visited with S & D. Tomorrow, we are going to go picture all of them except for two. Then, we are going to go to their house.....From there, we will picture ourselves in front of their house with frowny faces on. (Keep in mind that this may all blow up in our faces, but we gotta try) anyway, then we will send the pics to them in chronological order. The first place we met them....The first date we had....the first place we all got together in a "intimate way"....all the subsequent places we have been....etc. Then, the last pic will be the one of us together frowning....We will take the pic with us on half of the frame of the pic and in front of their house.....and ask "Who is missing in this pic? Should we go inside this house? Or drive to our own house?"

If they are home, we hope that they will simply come to the door......but have to be prepared for them not to. Thats the hard part. Someone once told us: With great risk, comes great rewards........So....We are hoping for the great rewards. Wish us luck!
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  #42  
Old 08-22-2010, 06:29 PM
rabbit rabbit is offline
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I would advise against doing the picture idea. For a well-established relationship that could be a cute idea for an anniversary present, but in this situation I think it would only serve to push them further away. It does not seem like a friend-present but a romantic-present and it sounds like at the moment you are trying to avoid that vibe with them. If they are having issues between them, and they are doing things like not responding to texts, they probably need some space.

I am sorry for what you are going through and hope that everything is resolved in a way that makes everyone happy!
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  #43  
Old 08-22-2010, 11:21 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Well...We did our little picture thing....and it worked! We went over to their house today and sat around talking for a while. Just being friends. Then, we "talk\ed" some more about all of our relationships. It is definatly "on again". :Rolleyes: LOL Not to the point of sex....but definatly WILL be soon. We discussed the possibility of getting closer when their kids moved out. D said that she would be on board with that, but that S may not be yet. (He went out to mow the yard about 5 minutes before. ) We all three agreed that he may NEVER be ready for that type of relationship....but....Then again, he MIGHT be some time. D said that she and S had spoken together, and they really want to see us all four getting old together.

I told everyone tonight, that in the future we ALL need to be open to the idea of expressing our feelings to everyone in the relationship right away and not holding it in and bottling it up until we explode. No matter HOW embarrassed we are about it. Everyone agreed.

Today = cloud 4

I'm working my way up again. YAY!
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  #44  
Old 08-22-2010, 11:45 PM
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LT4everu2 LT4everu2 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post

I told everyone tonight, that in the future we ALL need to be open to the idea of expressing our feelings to everyone in the relationship right away and not holding it in and bottling it up until we explode. No matter HOW embarrassed we are about it. Everyone agreed.

Today = cloud 4

I'm working my way up again. YAY!

I agree whole heatedly! It is a learning curve that we are all working on, which is good ! We are all talking openly and are slowly building a relationship that we all want. And have all agreed to take it as slow as the slowest in this relationship. We all want this to work out !
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  #45  
Old 08-23-2010, 11:55 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
Well...We did our little picture thing....and it worked! We went over to their house today and sat around talking for a while. Just being friends. Then, we "talk\ed" some more about all of our relationships. It is definatly "on again". :Rolleyes: LOL Not to the point of sex....but definatly WILL be soon. We discussed the possibility of getting closer when their kids moved out. D said that she would be on board with that, but that S may not be yet. (He went out to mow the yard about 5 minutes before. ) We all three agreed that he may NEVER be ready for that type of relationship....but....Then again, he MIGHT be some time. D said that she and S had spoken together, and they really want to see us all four getting old together.

I told everyone tonight, that in the future we ALL need to be open to the idea of expressing our feelings to everyone in the relationship right away and not holding it in and bottling it up until we explode. No matter HOW embarrassed we are about it. Everyone agreed.

Today = cloud 4

I'm working my way up again. YAY!
I don't want to say I told you so, but... I told you so!

*clap*
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
"Master," (mono, 34), miss pixi's Dom for 3 years
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  #46  
Old 08-24-2010, 10:15 PM
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racer812 racer812 is offline
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I think that your relationship with them is going to be good for all of you. Just remember to GO SLOW!!! And communication is key to making anything work. Remember to GO SLOW!! had to throw that in again. With all that I'm going thru I have learned to be much more patient, not all people "travel" at the same speed I do. Some are faster (not to many!), most are slower. Try to make sure all four of you are on the same page and no secrets. Secrets and lack of communication, in my opinion, are 2 of the biggest downers for something that looks like it is starting out very good.
Good luck to you and your lady, I hope everything works out for the best.
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  #47  
Old 08-24-2010, 10:19 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by racer812 View Post
I think that your relationship with them is going to be good for all of you. Just remember to GO SLOW!!! And communication is key to making anything work. Remember to GO SLOW!! had to throw that in again. With all that I'm going thru I have learned to be much more patient, not all people "travel" at the same speed I do. Some are faster (not to many!), most are slower. Try to make sure all four of you are on the same page and no secrets. Secrets and lack of communication, in my opinion, are 2 of the biggest downers for something that looks like it is starting out very good.
Good luck to you and your lady, I hope everything works out for the best.
In that same breath, some people may think they are pacing well, but really not. They may be fast at some aspects. Be cognizant of everyone involved and their comfort.
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  #48  
Old 08-25-2010, 12:14 AM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by racer812 View Post
I think that your relationship with them is going to be good for all of you. Just remember to GO SLOW!!! And communication is key to making anything work. Remember to GO SLOW!! had to throw that in again. With all that I'm going thru I have learned to be much more patient, not all people "travel" at the same speed I do. Some are faster (not to many!), most are slower. Try to make sure all four of you are on the same page and no secrets. Secrets and lack of communication, in my opinion, are 2 of the biggest downers for something that looks like it is starting out very good.
Good luck to you and your lady, I hope everything works out for the best.
I am also one of the faster travelers. LOL At least I think I am. But the reality is that no matter how "fast" I may travel, if the other travelers aren't keeping up, then I may out pace them and I'll be left all alone anyway. That would totally suck!

So I am back to pacing myself at everyone else's pace. I'm good with that pace though....because it keeps everyone happy. And "happy" is what I really want for everyone to be anyway.
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  #49  
Old 08-28-2010, 02:26 AM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Well, very little in the form of "communication" with S & D today. Wish they would at least text. Oh well....Gotta be patient I guess. Time for bed now....I get to go sleep with my loving wife! SWEET!
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  #50  
Old 08-28-2010, 04:52 AM
Jade Jade is offline
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Daily contact is not a reasonable expectation given everything you've described about the relationship so far. Have you looked at the short amount of time that passes between your posts? Look at the time between up and down, between off and on. As an outsider with nothing but hopes for your success, I'm telling you, it's not patient. You said you'd be patient.
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